What I've Learned So Far ...

It goes a long way

2012-01-24T09:48:00.004-06:00

This isn't kid-related, so much as mommy-related.

I had a doctor's appointment last week and was fortunately able to pawn my child off on an unsuspecting grandparent. Ha! I had two people in the building comment on my hair looking cute. I don't say this to boast, but rather to share the conclusion I came to ...

It wasn't my hair. It was my lipstick.

My hair has looked the same for, oh, let's say 8 years. I don't think I had a particularly good hair day, though people do comment on my curly hair from time to time (you always want what you don't have. The hair is always greener??). I digress. The point is, I was actually wearing lipstick that day, and a kind of bright red color at that. I think people noticed!

I was inspired by this video (by previously mentioned favorite Jane Marie at The Hairpin):
The Guide to Bold Lipsticks (it's funny even if you don't want anything to do with lipstick).

I am a huge fan of chapstick. Not the Chapstick brand, per se, but really plain ol' Burts Bees is my absolute favorite. I wear it all the time. I've recently branched out to their tinted version - which I also really like - but even their darkest red tints don't show up that much on me.

So, I dug through some old random make-up and found a red color that I thought looked pretty good (based on the recommendations in the video: I was dressed to go out and already had a full face of make-up on). I have been wearing it here and there and always feel more put together, even if it is just running around town. So, my friends, my advice is that lipstick can make a mom, new or not-so-new, feel pretty good about herself.

Secondly, and in the same vein, I think a scarf does wonders for a new mom. Most outfits look much more put together with a scarf and it takes no time at all to put on. Yoga pants and a t-shirt? Momdrobe. Yoga pants and a t-shirt with a colorful scarf? Whoa! Look at that gal who clearly has her shit together. (Forget about the unwashed hair - they won't notice).

So ... lipstick and a scarf. They are good things.

Reporting live from Sadnonapville

2012-01-17T17:24:00.003-06:00

Yep, I think the naps are done for. Barring any illness (which I'm seriously not wishing for, but at the same time kind of am), I don't think there will be much more afternoon napping in our house for the toddler set. For the mom? Well, that's a different story, but I think it is generally frowned upon to leave your 3-year-old with free reign over the house and a comatose parent 'supervising'.

I've alluded (ad nauseum) to our nap battles and I just finally had to accept that it (mostly) wasn't worth the fight. I can't even remember the last time that Ellen took a nap at home, which is saying something.

I had been taking her up to her crib (she still sleeps there at night, which will need addressing later) and she acted sleepy and yes, was truly tired, but she would just get a 2nd wind about 7 seconds after I left the room and she would bounce and talk and sing for at least 45 minutes and then would be so wound up she wouldn't sleep for anything.

So, I had to choose: was the sleep more important or was it more important for me to have quiet time away from my child? I can't force sleep, but I can enforce quiet time, so that won.

I am working hard on trying to enforce "quiet time". She has to stay in her bed and read quietly until I tell her it is Ok to come out. I am aiming for an hour, but she reliably lasts about 40 minutes at this point before the whining really starts. Openly looking for suggestions on how to make this work better - please fill me in! Also, I really truly hope that she will one day realize it is OK to fall asleep during quiet time if needed, but she is so stubborn (I blame her father) that I am not holding my breath.

She is still kind of a crabby-puss in the late afternoons, but it isn't as awful as it used to be when she skipped nap and bedtime is much more reliable. She goes down between 730-800pm and sleep comes not long after. This is really how I knew that we were probably truly done with the nap - she can make it through the day (pretty well) and bedtime is much better. I would really like to get her to stretch her morning wake-up time from 630am (on a good day) to closer to 700am, because I still think she is deficient in sleep, but I'm hoping that will come with time.

Oh, and another complicating factor is that she still naps at school 4 days a week. They have to nap, and I know she wakes up earlier than most kids most days, and it does kind of muck up our bedtime routine on those nights. They still have nap NEXT YEAR at school, too, which I can't even imagine how that will work.

So. It is what it is. I'm trying to see the silver lining in the fact that we can get out of the house in the afternoons. Also, everyone kept telling me to keep her in her crib as long as possible (which I'm all for) except I'm willing to bet those people's kids were still napping when they transitioned to a big bed. This one will be .... interesting.

Another good read

2012-01-11T21:18:00.004-06:00

I thought this was a cute post on Motherhood Uncensored - Kids Talk the Darndest Ways. Kind of like my post a while back about taking note of the cute things your child says. Read through the comments, too - good for a laugh when you need one.

Is anyone else having trouble getting a jumpstart on the year? I'm trying to revel in the calm after the holiday storm, yet it seems like I'm not accomplishing much and that's driving me crazy. Add on top a girl who never ever (ever ever) naps and I'm, shall we say, adjusting.

Good read (and recipe)

2012-01-05T21:15:00.002-06:00

I've linked to the Dash and Bella blog before - great cooking stories with kids. I happened across her blog tonight and her latest post is great - wonderful writing, really perfectly capturing a split moment in "mom time". And, french toast to boot!

Take a few minutes to read ... a few more if you're going to cook. (Then invite me over).

Dash and Bella: STAY

Resolutions?

2011-12-30T07:30:00.000-06:00

I am not big on New Year's Resolutions. (In fact, did I post about this last year? Something related to fitness? Clearly that didn't pan out). I do like to reflect on the past year and think, generally, about what I would like to accomplish in the new year, but I'm not one for grand statements.

That being said, I am feeling a bit like an old lady lately. You too? I just sometimes feel in a rut with everything - what we eat, what our house looks like, what I wear, how I do my make-up. Nothing life-altering or super important in the grand scheme of things, but I do think it is those little details that add up to a happier day and happier year.

So ... I am going to challenge myself to get outside the box a bit. I am frugal, but would like to add more color and fun to my life. I find some inspiration in these blogs and maybe you will, too.

Ain't No Mom Jeans - perennial favorite, check them often
Kendi Everyday - daily outfits, love the way she uses color
The Daybook - I just started reading this and really like the way she uses color. I dislike how thin she is immediately after giving birth, but I'm getting over that
Scout - A Mom's Guide to Stylish Living - this is a local KC gal
The Hairpin - I just randomly came across this blog and I find it very entertaining. Good writing on lots of subjects. In particular, I really like the posts by Jane Marie Feltes under How to be a Girl. She is a producer of This American Life on public radio which is one of my most favorite things in the world. Back to the point, though, her make-up advice is good entertainment. Not the look I would generally sport, but encourages me to be more creative. I confess that I am strangely entertained by watching makeup tutorial videos. I think it is kind of escapism from my normal life - who gets to sit quietly, drink wine, and do their makeup for 30 minutes? Sounds like bliss sometimes.
Pinterest - you are doing this, right? You must. It is a bit of a time suck at first, but becomes less so over time. My Pinterest feed is messed up and I don't think I get all new pins, which has helped with my addiction. I get all kinds of inspiration here. I like it a lot to catalog visual inspiration (clips from other blogs and stuff), whereas I still really like Evernote to catalog any text item (like recipes - can search by word).

Any good resolutions on your list? Where do you find inspiration?

Wishing you a Happy (and Colorful!) New Year!

What to do now?

2011-12-27T07:44:00.002-06:00

I'm not quite sure how to discipline my child now without the threat / promise of Santa and Nicholas the Elf.

So far, I've used painted toenails as a bribe ("tailnose" as Ellen calls them) ... I'll paint your toenails, but only if you sit still for 30 minutes after to let them dry.

"Ok, Mama. "

Marshmallows

2011-12-23T21:22:00.004-06:00

We were at Erik's work holiday party the other night and heard a cute story. One of his coworkers has a 4-year-old daughter who got really nervous last year visiting Santa and could only think to ask for marshmallows. Ha! Marshmallows it is (was). Her parents and family commented all year on how charming and sweet and funny it was. So ... year 4 ... she geared up for her conversation with Santa. She sat down on his lap, got nervous again, and could only think to ask for marshmallows!

Her parents will get her a few other special things, but it got me thinking ... how much do you pay attention to what your child asks for from Santa? Ellen has asked for NOTHING. Well, let me correct myself ... today I pushed her (yes, December 23rd) about what she wanted to ask Santa for. She was watching Cat in the Hat and asked (shockingly!) for a Cat in the Hat water cup. Ruh roh. Lesson learned. I will keep my mouth shut next time.

Though ... Santa pulled through on the water cup. Hallalu-yer!

Santa didn't go too crazy this year, though I think I over compensate because birthday and Christmas come so close together that I feel the need to stock up on some gifts for the year, but I think she would be happy with virtually nothing. If Santa brought a stack of copy paper and some Sharpies she would be thrilled. I buy her things because it makes me happy, but does it make her happy? I'm not so sure.

Life won't always be this simple ... in fact, this may be the last year ... something for you mama's with younger kids to keep in mind.

Happiest of Holidays to you and yours!

You still have time!

2011-12-22T20:13:00.002-06:00

I know you've seen this all over the Internets, but just in case ... get yourself a personalized Santa message! It's really cute and Ellen loved it.

Click here to see Santa's message to Ellen

My favorite part is his praise of her hard work on brushing her teeth every night because, YES, we have worked hard on that.

Happy, Happy, Merry, Merry to you and yours!

In this season of sharing

2011-12-13T20:25:00.002-06:00

Ellen graduated from Parents As Teachers this week. How is that possible? We talked about Kindergarten and everything, which is crazy town. Mind you, Ells has a late birthday, so she'll be almost 6 when she starts school, but still it's just right around the corner. (Literally, the school is right around the corner from our house and we talk about Kindergarten.every.day.)

Back to the topic at hand ... do you have a problem with sharing at your house? Ellen really does a pretty good job, for which I give full credit to daycare, but she does have her moments. Our P.A.T. educator gave us a good tip (especially for only children who don't have to share all day) ... have a chat with your little darling before a play date or big family gathering. Let them decide if there are 1 or 2 toys they don't want to share and put those away. Then, everything else is fair game.

We're hosting Christmas, so we might have to use this trick for a few of Santa's deliveries!

Best idea I've stolen this week

2011-12-06T10:01:00.002-06:00

I still don't have our Christmas decorations up. Is it bad that I am dreading it? Yes, I think it is. I really do LOVE having a decorated house, and I love having the tree lit in the evenings when it is dark outside, I just don't like putting it all up. Or taking it down. This year, in particular, I am challenged with a new house and a new layout and no idea where to put things. Oh yeah, and no money for new stuff. Crafty holiday time at our house!

One idea I will be stealing, though, is to add a basket of all our holiday books by the tree for reading. We have tons of winter / Christmas / Santa books that I don't really know what to do with for the rest of the year. If you really had your act together, you could wrap each book and unwrap daily as an Advent activity. I don't have my act together (see above).

Also, while we're on the Advent topic, my sister-in-law sent us this awesome advent computer activity thingy. (My description is so appealing, right?) It is Jacquie Lawson's London Advent Calendar - you can see a demo on her website and it is some inexpensive fun. The animations are really charming and it doesn't really matter if you start it late!

My favorite girl

2011-12-03T07:00:00.000-06:00

To my most favorite girl -

Happy Birthday! I celebrate this special day with you, though I hope I have celebrated at least one little part of the last 1, 095 days I've spent with you. You have turned my life upside down, yet most of the time I feel that this is always the way it was meant to be. You are my buddy, my shadow, my comedian in the backseat, the thorn in my side, and the best snuggler I know.

Our year has been full of challenges and I have counted on your sweet smile, your smush-face kisses, your questions, your diversion, to get me through many a day. Life was probably more simple at your last birthday, but I hope our lives will be even more full and rich at your next one.

You amaze us with your memory, your kindness, your inquisitiveness, and your incessant talking. You are the soundtrack to my life, in the most literal way. I spend more time with you than any other human on this planet and your sweet giggle and full body guffaw (as well as your whines and tantrums) punctuate my days.

I love to get in the car with you and wait for you to say, "Let's talk about ...." (policemen, firemen, ambulances, our day, school ....). I hope you will always tell us about your days and talk with us about what is important to you.

I love to watch your focus - drawing is the most favorite activity of late - and I love that I feel I really "know" you now. I know what you will like and dislike and I feel that I can support your interests and encourage you to thrive.

I love that you love school and are so sweet to your friends. This year seems to have come with more separation anxiety and it tears at my heart to see you sad and missing me or your Dad, yet I also secretly love how you drag out our morning good-byes with "one more kiss! one more hug!"

Though your behavior may turn on a dime, you can be so charming and you love to tell us, "Mommy. Daddy. I love you so, so much." We feel the exact same way.

I can't wait to see what the next year holds. We love you to pieces, are so proud of you, and couldn't be happier to celebrate this special day with you.

Love, love, love,

Mommy

Food for thought

2011-11-30T07:30:00.000-06:00

I came across this post on A Cup of Jo - Motherhood Mondays: Who gets the best kisses?

It is pretty thought provoking. I have never been a very physically affectionate person ... caring? generous? willing to do anything for another person? I hope so. But, I'm not a very touchy-cuddly person.

That really all changed when Ellen was born, as I had this delicious, chunky, squeezy little girl that I spent most of every day with. How could you not kiss and hug over and over and over?

I hadn't really recognized the sense of feeling "touched-out", meaning that you have spent so much of your day in physical contact with another person, that you are just ready for a zone of "me and only me". I find the constant child wrangling to sometimes be exhausting ... punctuated by a kiss here or a hug there ... but mostly wrestling to put shoes on, or lifting in and out of a shopping cart, or buckling in and out of a carseat, or changing a diaper, or lifting on and off the potty, or, or or ...

I will try to be more mindful of all this .... you??

Take note!

2011-11-16T07:30:00.001-06:00

Do you have some system for keeping track of the perfectly darling and/or amusing things your child says on a daily basis?

I'm really not that organized. But - I would like to be.

I sometimes note things on our family blog. And, I do keep a baby book for Ellen that I write in every now and then, but I always forget the best little quotes. Sometimes I'll text them to her Dad and I can retrieve them from my phone.

I recently started an "Ellen-isms" page in the little notebook I carry around in my purse for random notes ... it never fails that she blurts out something hilarious on our way to the grocery store.

Today I came across this free Quote Book download for organizing the funnies in a cute way at Kinderpendent (via Cool Mom Picks). A cute xmas gift for a new mom in your life, perhaps?

I think you could also make it something as simple as a perpetual calendar that you use to note kid-isms, or even a box of index cards you keep in your kitchen to collect the stories. I love reading the baby book my mom kept for me (thanks Mom! and, hooray for being the 1st child!) and these funny little things are so precious now that I have my own funny little thing living with me.

(And today - so timely! - a similar idea for a 2012 Best of My Days Notepad from Ashley at Under the Sycamore.)

In case you were wondering, the best of late ...
"It's not a secret. It's a tell thing."
"This fizzy water is pokey in my mouth."
"Are there any golfclubbers out today?" (such a better name than golfer)
"I don't have enough fingers. Just about 8. I want more. And purple ones."
"Can we work on a hug project today??"

Your Santa?

2011-11-16T07:30:00.000-06:00

When Santa visited my childhood home, we had lots of unwrapped gifts, displayed perfectly. He was very generous!

When Santa visits our house now, he does pretty much the same thing.

What happens when Santa visits your house?

I saw this post on Design Mom and it made me start thinking about Christmas Morning. I feel like this Christmas with a 3-year-old will be the start of something memorable and a good age to add some traditions. If we ever have another child, it would be nice to have some established guidelines rather than the general gift-free-for-all approach that we have been using.

Does Santa follow some rules when he comes down your chimney?

File this one away

2011-11-14T07:30:00.000-06:00

Have your kids really entered the baby doll phase? Ells plays with babies here and there, and talks about her babies a lot, but kind of treats her dolls/bunnies/bears/dogs all the same. She hasn't gotten into feeding / changing / napping babies yet, but I think the day is coming.

I saw this Corolle baby today on Cool Mom Picks. Pricey, but I LOVE the idea of using your own sweet baby clothes for dress up.

How does this compare to American Girl dolls? I'm honestly trying to avoid that place as.long.as.possible.

Got yourself a boy?

2011-11-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

They don't seem so much different than girls and, then again, they seem totally different.

Maybe you'll like this blog I just came across if you have the XY variety in your house ...

Frog and Snail Society

Click! take a pic ...

2011-11-09T07:30:00.000-06:00

(Diego anyone??)

Here is a good description of Intro to DSLR Cameras by Ashley at Under the Sycamore. As I've said before, I love her photography approach, especially when it comes to her young kids.

Maybe you can share with Santa for his list??

This is fun

2011-11-07T12:50:00.002-06:00

You can download a free kids' album of music HERE: Original Friend by Lunch Money. They are a Grammy-nominated band and, I guess, sharing the fun!

I found them via Design Mom and she has a fun interview with Mo Willems today - love his books!

In the bag

2011-11-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

Serious business today.

I need advice.

What kind of purse are you carrying these days??

I am finding myself in this strange period of not needing a diaper bag, yet needing both of my hands (and sometimes a 3rd hand) for child wrangling. I used the backpack with great success, and still do for long outings (zoo and such), but I just don't need it to run to Target.

I was gifted a very nice purse that I have used everyday for 2 years, yet it fell victim to the house renovations and has a big splotch of paint on the side. (Which pretty much just explains my life these days). The problem, though, is that it just goes over my shoulder like a normal purse, but doesn't stay on said shoulder when I am lunging for a child, or carrying 2 grocery bags and a child, or wrestling with a child in the freezer aisle.

I am definitely a 'purse' girl .. not in the sense that I care about labels or price (I'm cheap), but I carry a lot of things that seem necessary to me and I just can't swing the big wallet approach.

I was thinking a messenger / cross-body style? Or something with an option for messenger style? I don't want it to be too sporty looking. And, I need some kind of compartments inside - a huge tote bag is just a bottomless pit to lose things for me.

Suggestions? Tips? Pointers?

I'm all ears.

It's a little late

2011-10-31T21:03:00.004-05:00

Do you all have a Halloween candy policy? It occurred to me, at our 3rd trick-or-treating stop, that perhaps we should have discussed this in advance.

Last year Ells didn't really notice what happened to the candy ... she liked to sort it all out, and had a few bites, but didn't really notice when it went into the cabinet and never came back out.

This year? Never gonna work. She literally told her grandfather, "Don't even think about it!" when he playfully tried to take some of her candy. She has a definite mental inventory of every piece in her bag. (She grudgingly allowed me to take away the worst offender in the 'choking hazard' category and she told her grandfather that the green candies 'weren't vegetables.')

She generally responds well to lots of priming ... if we talk about things for a few days in advance she behaves well and/or complies. Pretty much. Can I spring a new Halloween candy rule at this point?

Our nephew trades his candy in for a toy of his choosing, which I think works really well for them. I don't think it will work well for us after the fact, but maybe next year.

I've read about kids who get to eat as much as they want for a day, then no more. I think that is just pretty disgusting for an almost-3-year-old.

A three day rule? Toss it all after that? Might work ... if I hide it, she will forget sooner or later.

Keep it all and dole it out tiny piece by piece? I usually only give her 1-2 Skittles or M&Ms at a time anyway. (She did ask me tonight if she could eat her Snickers in the spring-time. Sure! Why not?)

We also live in a great new neighborhood and she got the motherload of full-size candy bars. Hmmmm. My hips don't need those, either.

Tell me your approach to this ... please!

The Big 3

2011-10-25T12:07:00.003-05:00

Any advice on good gifts for the 3-year-old set? Miss Priss has both a birthday AND Christmas coming up and I'm very short on ideas for gifts.

She really doesn't NEED anything, but there has to be something to open and something for the Santa list. We are at capacity on books and the most popular books lately seem to come from the library anyway. She has a play kitchen that she loves, but there are already enough accessories for a small nation. The new playroom does not have any more floor space for a 'big' gift. I was thinking about a balance bike, but it seems cruel to gift that in December when it can't be used for months.

Further, it seems that most toys are baby toys, for ages 1-2, or for 4 and up. She plays with plenty of things that are choking hazards (hooray for great parenting!), so that's not the issue, but I'm just not sure she would be interested in some of the board games and such. What age does the dress-up obsession start? I was kind of thinking of stalking the post-Halloween sales for some dress-up goodies.

I'm at a loss ....

Do as I say, not as I do

2011-10-19T22:02:00.003-05:00

Do you all have your bookcases and dressers and such tethered to the wall? I must admit that we missed that step in our baby-proofing. Even if we had done it before, we are in a new house now and need to do it all over again.

I have commented to friends that I have had to do MORE baby proofing in the new house, which doesn't make sense, except that the house is bigger and the almost-3-year-old is sneakier and she gets into things and I can't hear or see her. Chewing on a big button because it's "gum"? Yep. Playing with big scissors? Yep. Pushing chairs over to bookshelves and reaching to get things? Yep.

In the new play room we have a tall bookcase that is VERY tippy. It makes me nervous every time I reach for something off the top shelf. Ellen always asks for help and we are always close by, but still ... something bad could happen in a second. Even worse, another child playing at our house might not be so cautious.

Read this link on The Creative Mama if you are up for it. I find that I do sad things at work and it is hard for me to read sad things in my free time, but none the less, it's a powerful reminder that accidents happen to the best families with the best of intentions. Locally, a little boy died not that many years ago in a similar accident. I even have the wall tethers packed away somewhere in the house ... no excuses.

Stick a fork in me

2011-10-17T13:42:00.002-05:00

I'm done.

Day 4 of no-nap over here. Not for me, of course, but for the 3-foot-tall terrorist that lives in our house. Nap for me? Ha!

Why did I need her to nap so badly today? Well, there are the 3 days of sleep deprivation, of course. Also, though, the plumber is here to auger our basement main drain because our basement has standing water and floating sewage.

See?

Kill me now.

Get in the picture!

2011-10-14T13:19:00.002-05:00

I've been working on a 2010 family photo book with My Publisher. (Yes, I'm a year behind. I'm over it). As I looked through hundreds and hundreds of pictures, I realize that I'm in only a very few. Thank goodness my sister is a good photographer, because I know she has some, but it makes me sad not to have pictures of myself interacting with Ellen, because she is the person I spend the most time with in the world!

I think I've posted a link similar to this before, but check out these tips:
Because You Were There, Too: Thirteen Tips for Family Self Portraits

Worth repeating

2011-10-11T21:17:00.003-05:00

Though I posted this on our family blog, I consider it a public service announcement.

I made a serious error in judgement this week. I took Ells to get some new colors and she picked the Crayola Twistables Slick Stix.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy these for your child. Or husband. Or self. I even knew better - I had tried to purchase them before at the Crayola store and the sales gal talked me out of it. That really sums it all up right there. They are like coloring with lipstick that stains permanently and doesn't dry. Awesome - right?

Well, I tried to talk Ellen out of it at the store and just couldn't without a scene. I let her color with permanent markers (I know - crazytown), so I thought this couldn't be worse. She has never colored on anything that she wasn't supposed to and I always supervise. Well ... the royal purple color stick slowly catapulted itself off the table and, in slow motion, I screamed NOOOOOOOO! as it hit the carpet.

I think you can guess what happened. And, it was totally my fault. After a whole lot of Googling (news flash: the Crayola "stain tips" don't really cut it), I thought I would try the good ol' Magic Eraser first. It totally worked!!

Mr. Clean, I think I love you.

Heartwarming

2011-10-07T13:43:00.002-05:00

I haven't heard anything about this documentary, but it sounds intriguing ...

Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (click this to watch the trailer - worth the 2 minutes. Seriously.)

I guess it has won lots of awards - seems like a great story of sticking with your dreams.

(This culture today courtesy of The Observer's Very Short List. It is a daily email, if you want to sign up, of something fresh/new/undiscovered on the internets. I have found a few jems through them, things I doubt I would have stumbled upon otherwise. Doesn't everyone need MORE things to look at online??)

Oh, I get it

2011-10-05T20:59:00.003-05:00

We had a rough week last week with Ells.

Fever for 4 days, no school all week, 3 days with grandparents (thank you!!) ... all this adds up to a girl that was whiny with a capital WHINE. Mostly just with me, of course, but it was/is maddening none the less.

My 'behavior modification' skills were seriously lacking ....

So, Monday begins - new week, new attitude?

At the end of the day, my mom asked me how the day went? It was surprisingly smooth - nothing special or different, but home all day. I did my thing and Ells did her thing, but we talked and spent time together and didn't run any errands or have to race anywhere (for the first time in 3 months)...

Oh - best behavior in 10+ days? I get it, thanks.

Poll: Big-kid bed

2011-09-27T21:19:00.003-05:00

Ok ... input, please!

What age did you move your kid to their big kid bed?

How many times did they fall out?

Bed rails or no?

And, for reals, did they stop sleeping forever after you moved them???

Randomness ...

2011-09-19T15:55:00.004-05:00

Milestone: today marks the first day that my darling little girl climbed out of her crib for the first time. THUNK! She is okay, and I knew this day was coming ... she has been testing her climbing skills in there for weeks. "I just wanted to swing, mama ..."

Reading: (do any of you read for fun anymore? I hate to tell people that I haven't read a book for pleasure since my last vacation, almost 1 year ago. Barf.) I heard about this book today on our local NPR show - Uncle Dan's Report Card: From Toddlers to Teenagers, Helping Our Children Build Strength of Character with Healthy Habits and Values Every Day (a mouthful!). I think the basic idea is that the authors have written some parenting books and do some local parenting activities in KC, then came across an uncle's report card from 1914 and were fascinated by the emphasis the school district put on the partnership between the school and family on all sorts of manners/habits/behaviors (brushing teeth, saying please and thank you, being respectful ...). They are piloting some of these activities in local schools - sounded interesting.

Skills: I read the Sesame Ellis photography blog. Rachel Devine is the photographer and she has 3 beautiful children. Plus, they live in Australia and once I saw her on House Hunters International - love that show! Today she released Click! an eBook on How To Take Gorgeous Photos of Kids. I haven't seen it yet, but think I'll get it for $19.99 - far cheaper than any photography class!

What sort of random things are you up to today? I also bought shampoo (2 big bottles to 1 big bottle of conditioner - i think I'm finally outsmarting the system), recovered a chair and organized my freezer. Do I win?

Rules of Dinner

2011-09-12T07:30:00.000-05:00

Again, courtesy of our friends at Dinner: A Love Story - Rules of Dinner.

We aren't great with following any rules of dinner, but I like to read about how other families make it (successfully) happen. We do have family dinner most every night now, though, which was a slow but nice transition. Miss Ellen has her moments of being adventurous and trying (and liking!) new things, but certainly also turns her nose up at the "go-to" items. Grrrrr.

I look forward to the days of talking about the "highs and lows" ... the things that come out of that girl's mouth are already entertaining. Boy howdy, what the future must hold ...

Desperation, thy name is tired Mommy

2011-09-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

I think I've alluded to the fact that our daughter has become a grade-A terrible sleeper. If I'm being objective, which is really hard, I think it was a cumulative effect of moving + busy parents + lapsing into bad habits + being 2 1/2 years old.

Nonetheless, we have slowly found ourselves in a situation where she naps maybe once or twice a week on the days she is home, stalls stalls stalls and goes to bed late, and continues to get up early. I used to be shocked when she DIDN'T nap, and now it was the exact opposite. I thought she was really going to give up her nap and I was preparing myself for a future of "quiet time".

I talked with our Parents as Teachers educator and she confirmed my feelings that Ellen really wasn't getting enough sleep. I think kids her age need like 11-13 hours of sleep total per day, and a few days a week she was getting maybe 9. Kids get sleep deprived very fast - within probably 2 days - and we were seeing the results of that. Boy howdy.

We have been pretty lucky with the tantrum situation - lots of sass and back talk and pouting - but generally we can redirect without much issue. Last week, the terrible sleep situation resulted in a crazy child at bedtime that appeared almost possessed - shaking with anger, hitting, throwing things - it was awful. And sad. I think she felt out of control and we felt out of control without knowing how to fix it.

So, back to the books for Mama. I pulled out our Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book looking for ANY solution. I really wasn't even focused on naps, but needed to get her bedtime situation fixed. Thank you, page 325, and your Sleep Rules!

You can read the basics on Sleep Rules and Silent Return here.

This is actually very similar to the plan we used for potty training, though there is a consequence for not following the rules. Ellen responded SO well to the potty training rewards that I had high hopes (to say the least).

Prep: I made a trip to Michaels for poster board and reward trinkets / stickers. I didn't want to reward with food and totally lucked out by hitting the super clearance section of summer goodies and school goodies. I got enough rewards to fill a big box for less than $20 (art projects, chalk, bubbles, stickers, school supplies, notebooks ...). I also got some Disney princess stickers which have been a HUGE hit. We don't do much princess talk at our house, but I think they do at school and Ellen has been chatting about her princess friends. (In fact, she yelled about wanting Ariel for a long time during the tantrum from hell).

I happily talked up a group art project when Ellen saw me come home with bags of goodies. She helped me draw the 'Ellen's Sleep Rules' poster and decorated it herself. We talked through the rules and the prizes and consequences. (Follow the rules = sticker on poster, prize from box. Don't follow the rules = no sticker, no prize, no TV/iPad.)

Night #1: Bed prep as usual (books, jammies, brush teeth, into bed). I was tempted to add all these steps to the poster, but refrained. We picked a place for the poster in her room so she can see it and we talked about which princess sticker she would like to put on the poster in the morning. She repeated the rules for us and was in bed at 7:30pm, quiet by 7:35pm. This was a no-nap day, but still was the earliest she has been in bed and been quiet in FOREVER. She didn't wake at all during the night, and woke up at 6:38am, after the cow was dancing. Hallelujah!!

Nap #1: I was hopeful, yet doubtful, about how this would work for naps. We followed the exact same steps - in bed for nap about 1:45pm, up to go potty, lots of chatting in her bed, then eventually quiet at 2:45pm. I did have to go up a few times and to help her to potty, but never talked to her. I woke her at 4:30pm because I didn't want her to sleep too late, poured on the praise, and rewarded her.

She was generally a delightful child all afternoon, which is frankly a change from our recent experiences. So nice!

Night #2: I knew she wouldn't be tired for our ideal bedtime of 7:30-8:00, but she was in bed by a little after 8:00 and probably quiet by 8:35pm. Again, a huge improvement.

As an aside, this is part of the problem. When she naps, she tends to fall asleep around 2ish and would sleep until 430 or so. This clearly is too late to then be tired enough for bedtime. The solution is either to have her nap earlier, which is really a challenge, or to skip nap and do an earlier bedtime. I honestly think we are heading in that direction sooner rather than later - quiet time instead of nap, but it might make for a much more pleasant evening.

Nap #2: So-so. She did nap, but it probably took her an hour of talking before she fell asleep. I can't remember if she woke on her own or if we woke her, but she did sleep and was rewarded.

Night #3: She went to be really late, about 9:00pm, because we had dinner with friends, but she went right down and slept all night. She did wake up about 6:15am hollering, so I went in and told her she needed to be quiet until her cow was dancing. She didn't go back to sleep, but did get quiet until about 6:32am and then I went to get her and she got her rewards.

Nap #3: Best nap yet! She was probably kind of tired from a shorter night of sleep than usual, so she was in bed at about 1:30pm and asleep by 1:50pm. She slept almost 2 hours and was a pretty happy camper the rest of the day!

Night #4: Didn't go down as well as the previous nights. Along with the rest of the changes, I took all the crap out of her bed crib (probably 17 things) and make her choose only 2 items (dolls / loveys) and she gets a blanket for covers. We had to exchange some of the items back and forth, then she had to potty, but she was asleep within about 30 minutes of getting in bed.

All in all, I'm totally happy with how this has worked. I made a lot of changes all at once, which my behavioral analyst friend would not agree with, but I NEEDED things to get better. Whadda you know? They did. :)

In the book, Mark Weissbluth talks a bit about the difference between rewards and bribes, as well as the role of consequences. You can read it for yourself, but basically he says it is fine and it works. Also, that your love and kisses are not enough to change the behavior of a strong-willed toddler, so you may need back-up.

His idea is basically that your child will eventually become so proud of themselves that the rewards will kind of phase themselves out. This is exactly what happened with potty training for us, so I'm hopeful this will be the same. I have made a point to talk about how proud of Ellen I am to her, as well as our family and friends, and she gets a big smile on her face.

Awwww, still love that girl. :)

Eating with your kids

2011-09-01T11:40:00.002-05:00

I came across two nice articles today on eating with your kids - might inspire you, or might make you feel better about how dinner takes place at your house.

Up, down, up, down. Mama - I lay down on my chair to eat. I not hungry anymore. I don't eat cooked tomatoes. Wassat? I don't like it. I want milk AND orange juice AND water. I want milk with no lid. I want a big fork. I dropped my fork. I want to sit in the middle ...

sound familiar?

From Dash and Bella - Reality

From Dinner: A Love Story - It's Not You. It's Them.

In this back-to-school season

2011-08-27T09:10:00.004-05:00

Another article to make you cry, via a friend on facebook.

Beverly Beckham: I was the sun, the kids were my planet

Though I have a terrible memory, I distinctly remember a wedding we attended when I was pregnant with Ellen. We had recently learned we were having a girl and my husband's darling cousin was getting married ... watching my husband's uncle walk his daughter down the aisle just about did us in.

His uncle's toast at the reception has stuck with me ... something that their OB told them the day their daughter was born ... a mother and father's job is to raise a child to leave them. Give them all the skills and tools they will need for life, so they can go out on their own. Yes, they'll be back now and then, but if you are really good at your job, they won't need you anymore. Not for the big stuff, anyway. Sniff, sniff.

Could this be true?
Yes, it could.

I think about it often. Am I giving Ellen the tools she needs to be successful and independent and happy and generous and kind and, and, and, and ...

It's a lot, isn't it??

The second part of his toast, which I think is just as important, is that it is also your job to maintain your relationship with your spouse. For someday, you will find your house empty of children and you will be left only with each other. You better like each other! :)

So, date night tonight and child-rearing tomorrow. Care to join me?

Free! Parenting Classes!

2011-08-23T16:34:00.002-05:00

What, you don't need them?

I do.

From our friends at Rookie Moms -

Webinar classes next Tuesday, August 30th, at 2pm and 9pm eastern time.

I'll see if I can tie my child up because she won't be napping or sleeping and maybe I can attend. (See? I need them.)

Get it together

2011-08-17T21:11:00.002-05:00

I really can't get my shit together these days, so sorry about that.

I did come across these two articles / blog posts and thought they were well written and/or thought provoking. Maybe you will think so, too?

I found this first one via Dash and Bella, which is a great food/cooking blog with kiddos. This gal seriously does crazy amazing things with her kids. This article is about pot smoking and Disney World, which are generally two things I know nothing about, though I laughed out loud several times at the (lengthy) article late last night, which does not come easy at the end of a long day. I really like the author's style of writing.
You Blow my Mind. Hey Mickey!

The second post is more typical Mom-fare from our friends at Rookie Moms. It was a link to an old post about Victory Babies. I had never heard the term, but it was interesting to read - and the comments, too. From time to time I read about moms who feel like they were "cheated" when their first birth didn't go exactly as planned and they have a nagging to desire to make it right the next time. My first delivery was pretty much the exact opposite of what I envisioned, and scary to boot, but ended in a wonderful miracle and I have zero-zilch-nada regrets about the whole thing. And, truthfully, I would sign up to do it again tomorrow.

Do you have a secret or not-so-secret desire for a victory baby?

We do have some things lurking in toddler land at our house, such as poor sleeping, thinking about dropping the nap?, transitioning to big girl bed and big girl room, moving up to the Balloons room at school, general nose-turning-up-at-vegetables - you know - all the fun stuff!

Someday I'll fill you in on all the details.

Probably.
Definitely.
Maybe.

Thought provoking

2011-08-08T07:30:00.000-05:00

I came across an interesting article today about how we talk to girls.

A Cup of Jo is a blog that I don't read frequently, but other blogs I read link to her content all the time. She had this nice post Motherhood Mondays: How to talk to little girls. She references an article by Lisa Bloom in The Huffington Post by the same title.

I guess I find that I am always squealing over little girls' hair and clothes and shoes because they are so stinkin' cute (!), but I sure would rather engage their brains.

Note to self: try harder.

You, too?

Uncomfortable topic?

2011-08-03T20:34:00.003-05:00

So, here's one for you ... anyone got any great tips on talking to a toddler about death?

Ellen had a nice man who volunteered in her classroom at school and read books several days a week for over a year. I never met him, but she always talked about him fondly. Unbeknownst to me, he had retired from his job when he found out he had cancer and decided to spend whatever time he had left doing things he enjoyed. It is just about the nicest, and saddest, story. I didn't know he was sick and he died recently.

Here is the sticky part for me ... Ellen didn't know he was sick, either. His family wanted to involve the children in his memorial service and asked for us to attend, which was very nice, yet also very uncomfortable for me. I felt I needed to have some conversation with Ellen about what happened before going, but I also felt that we shouldn't not go just because it made me uncomfortable.

We aren't really a religious family and I feel like I don't have a good framework for discussing death in terms she might understand. She also currently has a total obsession with doctors and doctors offices and the things that happen there. I don't want her to be fearful of getting sick and not getting better.

Turns out we couldn't go to the service for another reason, but I still think I need to address this.

Help?

Vacation

2011-07-26T17:26:00.002-05:00

We are not on vacation. In fact, it's like we are doing the exact opposite of vacation.

Nonetheless, maybe you are on vacation? (If so, have a drink for me, but don't send a postcard. We're moving. And I'd be jealous.)

I came across this and it seemed like a good tip to file away for the future. Our first roadtrip with a toddler could be summed up with the word "disaster". Next time (if there is a next time?) maybe something like this would work ...

Tips for Road Trip with Kids by 320*Sycamore

For your list

2011-07-14T14:01:00.003-05:00

I found this list of great children's picture books over at Design Mom. We have read a lot of them, but certainly not all.

I'm going to print the list and add it to our library bag ... I find that I'm always wanting to seek out good books, but I never have a list, so I resort to choosing by covers. Sometimes this works, sometimes not (i.e. the book we brought home about dying dogs).

Then, I am also usually chasing Ellen through the chapter book section as she pulls books off the shelf and says, "I big now, Momma. I read this book. I big. I big like you."

Here ya' go - happy library-check-outing!
Design Mom's Top 50 Picture Books

This will tug at your heart a little

2011-07-04T20:19:00.003-05:00

We have a sweetie sweet sweet new little niece who is the tiniest human being I've ever held. We had a great family get-together and it was fun and shocking to see this tiny new being amongst the now huge-appearing cousins. Where has the time gone?

I find that mothering (and fathering, I spose, though I won't speak for them) is such a balance of hurry-up-let's-get-going and stop-right-there-and-let-me-burn-this-on-my-brain-forever.

Not to get all granola on you, but this guest post by Tara Thayer at Soule Mama says it much better than I can ...

Soulful Mothering

Some follow-up

2011-06-28T12:08:00.003-05:00

I've been meaning to post about one of our favorite baby gear items that has made a re-appearance in our house. The Boppy!

I expressed my Boppy love previously - it was the perfect nursing accessory for us. Then after Ells was weaned, it made its way to the linen closet, never to be heard from again. Ellen pulled it out a few months ago - she had seen her baby cousin use it and wanted to get it out for her to play with. Then she asked to put it in her crib. Then I realized it is the perfect pillow!

I guess some toddlers like pillows and some don't, but she really loves her Boppy pillow. And, what's not to love? It's kind of like a baby version of those body pillows. Washable cover. Done. She was riding it around as a horse last night, too - the fun never ends.

Also, switching gears, some Dentist follow-up. I posted a few months ago about our prep for the first visit. I just wanted to say that it was wildly successful! Ellen was a great patient, so compliant, and not a peep or a tear. She even talked to the dentist about germs and sugar and plaque, for heaven's sake! We watched the Bucky the Beaver DVD no fewer than 37 times and it was sad to return it to the library. Almost 2 months later she is STILL talking about the dentist and she likes to pretend play dentist quite a bit. She still fights us on brushing at bedtime, but I'll take it!

Lucky

2011-06-22T11:37:00.004-05:00

I'm probably late to the game on this, but just came across this nice article for Father's Day.

A Father's Day Wish: Dads, Wake the Hell Up!

For me, it was just a good reminder how lucky I am to have a spouse that fully participates in our daughter's life. I am also super lucky to have come from a household with a Dad that fully participated in my life. It's pretty easy to take those things for granted and some reminding is helpful every now and then.

I hope you can count yourself in the lucky category, too.

A jellybean?

2011-06-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ellen asks for a jellybean ....

What for? I say

"For the manners"

What manners?

"Please and thank you"

Well, it's a start, I guess.

I saved this article from Parents magazine this Spring on "25 Manners Every Kid Needs by Age 9" - I think I have some work to do.

Cute clothes!

2011-06-13T10:44:00.003-05:00

I'm on a spending hiatus, but recently discovered that I love Olive Juice Kids clothes (much to the chagrin of my checkbook). I bought some on Gilt during a sale a month or so ago and the quality is great and the styles are so classic.

Gilt is having another sale today!
If you aren't a member, you can use my link: http://www.gilt.com/invite/mollylund

Happy shopping!

Ugh, slacking

2011-06-09T23:17:00.002-05:00

Well, let's just really call it a summer hiatus.

All of a sudden I feel like I can't get anything accomplished? You, too? It doesn't help that my list of things to accomplish keeps getting longer, but I do love me some task-scratch-offing.

Here is one thing on the list: a Mom-friendly swimsuit

Got a good source for me?

I do have a cute one piece from J. Crew that I got before our Hawaii trip (almost 2 years ago - whaaa), but it really isn't toddler-chasing, swim-lesson-appropriate.

I think I need a 2 piece, as to avoid shimmying out of a wet one piece if I have to pee whilst wrangling a slippery child. The top piece, though, needs to be long enough to cover up the "mom" part.

I keep trying to get to Land's End to try on their suits (nothing says Mom like Land's End). I love the J Crew suits, but not sure that my budget can justify that.

Help a momma out!

Girls and boys

2011-06-03T07:17:00.004-05:00

A few quick "Girl" and "Boy" things for your Friday ...

I realized we have about enough dresses for Ellen to wear a different one each day this summer! She hasn't worn many dresses in the past, mostly because they got in her way when she was a crawler and a new walker, and then it wasn't dress season. Now, though, she is obsessed with things that "tirl" (twirl). She gets up, goes potty, then puts on undies and a skirt or dress each day. Today she had to feel the fabric of each one to see if it passed muster (so help me God).

Here's my tip #1 though: I bought quite a few dresses last summer on sale for this summer. I just bought 2T because I thought they would be plenty big, and now I think she'll be out of them by mid-summer. She is a shorty with short arms, but dresses are perfect for her and the size is more forgiving - next time I'll remember to size up.

Tip #2 (or really, need a tip #2) - I've realized that big girl dresses don't come with bloomers, which annoys me so much. For an active little girl, I hate to have her undies showing when she is playing. It is surprisingly hard to find bloomers for bigger girls that might actually match the dress she is wearing. I swear I had read about some boy-short type product for little girls called something like "I see London, I see Francies", but I can't find it with the Googling. Gah. Any suggestions?

And, because I don't know anything about boys, I don't have any good tips, but I do have a good party suggestion. Well, a good suggestion for someone who isn't crazy OCD like me. Yet again, it's from Ashley at Under the Sycamore - Mad Run birthday party. It's a huge, muddy obstacle course for boys! Send me some pictures of you hosting this party and cleaning up afterwards!

Also, courtesy of Ashley at Under the Sycamore, some fun summer ideas for kids:
Meg's Craft Thursday Projects
Martha's 60 days of Summer for kids
Wondertime's 12 activities for kids
Digital Reflections 100 free activities to do with kids this summer

And, on a related note, it's summer already? When did that happen?

Technical difficulties

2011-05-30T22:54:00.003-05:00

A crashed laptop with a destroyed hard drive does not a good blogger make.

I had actually backed-up most of everything, save for the last 2 months. There were still tears when I thought about the pictures and videos that might have been lost. I still don't know if I have everything, but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.

Please, friends. Don't do that to yourselves. If you are like me and ALL of your precious pictures and videos of your child live on your computer, you just cannot risk something happening to it.

I'll get back to some mom stuff soon, but for now my parting advice to you ...

Go right now and backup everything on your computer. Use an external hard drive AND an online subscription service (I use Backblaze) AND burn favorite photos and movies to a DVD AND put important work files on a thumb drive (and I'm going to experiment with Dropbox).

You know, just in case.

Also, and this is a bummer one, be sure to back-up your browser bookmarks or favorites in a file on your desktop. All of those carefully selected blogs and websites that I've accumulated over the last 4 years? Yep, gonesville.

True, this is minor trauma. I've had friends, though, who have had their laptop AND external hard drive stolen, or our incredibly sad neighbors in Joplin who just lost everything in an instant - you just don't know what might happen tomorrow.

Protecting your memories can make a sad situation just a little bit better.

Go.
Now.
Do it.

I hope you never have to thank me, because I hope it never happens to you.

Survivor: Child Island

2011-05-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

I can't take credit for the title - I read it somewhere (maybe in the comments of this link?) - but I chuckled and thought it sounded just about right for many a day.

I wrote down some Mom advice at a baby shower the other day and my #1 tip was that you get to start over each day! If you feel like you were an a-hole one day, or if your kid ate 3 bags of graham crackers for a meal, or if they went to bed with dirty feet, no worries. You get to try again!

In full disclosure, I'm not this laid back all the time, but I am getting better. There is something about having a living, breathing, talking toddler around ALL the time that makes me feel reassured that I haven't already screwed things up too badly.

Here is where I got the idea - go read Survivor Mom at Motherhood Uncensored. Make yourself feel better today. Then go have wine.

Stay in your seat!

2011-05-16T07:59:00.003-05:00

Another transition around here ... not a huge one, but still a change to our days.

We had still been using our Inglesina Fast Table Chair that I loved SO much for the majority of Ellen's meals. It was fast, simple, and best of all - it CONFINED her.

We have been having more family dinners - probably 3-4 times a week - and it has been challenging (at best) to have her stay in her seat to eat dinner. She has a little booster and we all sit at our dining room table. Initially, she would stay in her seat pretty well to eat, but then asked to get down to play. We have pretty much instilled the "stay at the table until everyone is finished eating" rule, but the "stay in your seat" part isn't working out so well. She asks to sit with me or Dad, which is a habit I don't like, but she also eats a better dinner if she is sitting with one of us. What to do?

So, we had a few parties and the high chair came down. I really wanted to put it back up, but she is certainly old enough to learn to sit in her chair and eat a meal. She does it at daycare with a table full of kids, so I know she can do it at home.

All of her meals are now served at her little table and chair set in the kitchen. She is not good at sitting still and eating her meal, and there are lots of ups and downs, but I think I am seeing some (slow) positive improvement.

Yet another one of those things that is challenging as a parent, yet good for your kid. Theme #1,467 of parenting, I suppose ...

MacGyver

2011-05-12T07:30:00.001-05:00

Maybe I'm the last person to figure this one out ...

Ells eats lots of tacos - seems that everything is more appealing when rolled up in a tortilla. She does, however, tend to have a meltdown when the contents fall out the bottom.

Finally last week, after lots of taco tears, I folded up the bottom like a burrito and secured it all with a toothpick.

Disaster averted.

It's the little things, right?

A trip to the Dentist can be lots of fun ...

2011-05-09T16:28:00.005-05:00

I feel like the puppet master today.

Miss Ellen is scheduled for her first trip to the dentist on Friday. I feel like we might be late for this, which makes me nervous. If you know anything about me, it is that I am a rule-follower. I haven't had anyone firmly state that we need to get to the dentist (I think the AAP says 1 year, several friends have said 2 years or 3 years), but I still feel like I am going to get a slap on the wrist by the dental police.

(As an aside, I have a new theory on personality: I think you can tell a lot about a person by the type of toothpaste they choose in the dental office. Me? Always mint, every time, since early childhood. Pretty much tells the story, right?)

So. I don't know if I've really documented our battles related to The Brushing Of The Teeth, but it is generally the most unpleasant task of our day. I have tried every trick I can think of, with only short-lived success. Ells does generally respond well to authority figures, so I am hoping our friendly Dentist will give me a little boost in this department.

I took the same approach to our first dentist visit as I did for her first haircut - videos! There are quite a few Sesame Street dentist videos on YouTube. (And, seriously, look at this one on The Girl and her Llama at the dentist! My memory is crap and I TOTALLY remember this - what IS this all about?)

So, anyway, we made a trip to the library this morning for books about the dentist, but came away with a DVD ("A trip to the dentist can be lots of fun!"). Ells asked to watch it before nap and she was thoroughly enthralled by the puppet, Bucky the Beaver, and his visit to Dr. Rob.

I caught her singing the song before nap (... a trip to the dentist can be lots of fun ...).

She asked to brush her teeth before nap.

She woke up and said, "Mom. I HAVE to go the dentist!"

See? Like I said ... puppet master.

(And, at the risk of sounding like I know what I'm doing, I'll be sure to report back on our actual experience in the special chair!)

Potty Party! The poop ... literally

2011-05-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

We had three very successful days of peepee on the potty, but not so much with the poop. I knew it would be a challenge and many kids are #2 trained quite awhile after #1, but I was not looking forward to figuring this out.

In preparation, we had been talking lots about pooping in the potty for days in advance. We read the 'Everyone Poops' book over and over and over. We flushed the poop from her diaper in the toilet so she could see it. Didn't think I would talk so much about poop in my entire life.

Day one of potty party and she had a poop accident, which was pretty much to be expected. She didn't like it and was upset and wanted to get it fixed pronto. We still flushed the poop and explained that we would try again and she needed to let us know next time. I know you don't care about all the pooping habits of my child, but she isn't the kind of kid that gives much warning. I think she pooped again in her diaper at naptime and bedtime, which was fine, and I was happy she went because I didn't want to get into some nasty withholding-constipation nightmare.

The next day, I caught her mid-poop and had the portable potty right next to me in the family room and I just sat her down and tried to get her to finish. I was trying to be happy and relaxed and we read books and sang songs, but she couldn't relax. She kept trying to stand up to poop, poor thing. I don't blame her - when you do it that way for almost 2 years, must be hard to switch! (One tip is to try to catch your kiddo before they poop and just sit them on the potty, clothed and with diaper, so they can get used to pooping while sitting). I think she pooped again in her diaper for the rest of the weekend, when she was in bed, so we sent her off to school on Tuesday without any poop success over the weekend.

Same story all week, poop in diapers with maybe one accident at school. She did really great with peeing on the potty all week at home and school. She was home again Friday with me and I was really hoping we could make some progress. I'll provide more details than you want, but only because it might help. (Truthfully, I'm sure all of this is more detail than you want!) We were relaxing and reading books before nap and she still had her undies on (change to diaper just before bed) and she tooted ('Scuze me!). I asked if she needed to poop and she didn't protest very vigorously, so I sat her down on the potty in "her" bathroom. I don't know what possessed me, but I told her I would stand outside the (open) door and give her some privacy. I guess it did the trick because IT WORKED!

I laid on the praise like you wouldn't believe, she was proud of herself, and we called Daddy at work to share the good news. (You could sense the thrill in his voice. Ha!)

The next day, we tried again before nap in the same way and she did it again! Hip, hip, hooray!

So, by Sunday we were at our 3rd day in a row of no accidents at all, peeing and pooping on the potty. I asked her before lunch if she needed to poop and she said yes. Get thee to a potty, child! She now asks for "pi-vacy" - which is hilariously cute - and is quite proud of her success. On Sunday night, she was monkeying around in bed and when Daddy went to tell her to go to sleep she said she needed to poop, and lo and behold, she did! I thought this was quite the milestone, and I'm crossing my fingers the success continues.

So, in long-winded summary, we are 8 days into wearing undies as I write this. I think it is going great! I still do lots of prompting, probably more than necessary, and am working on finding the right balance of getting her to go when needed without setting up power struggles. We do a lot of - "time to go potty!" and she asks for 2 more minutes playing, so we set the kitchen timer and she goes in 2 minutes. She responds well to this because she feels in control of the situation, which I am mostly fine with, unless we need to get out of the house.

I'm still pretty gun-shy with the running errands and such. We haven't had any car accidents (yet) ... will let you know how that works out for us.

Potty Party! The day of ...

2011-05-02T07:30:00.000-05:00

Have you been perched on the edge of your chair awaiting the rest of the details? Right. Didn't think so.

Nevertheless ...

We had our supplies:
- installed potty seat in all bathrooms
- portable potty in the room with us (just in case)
- small rewards (stickers / band aids) for dry undies
- bigger rewards for potty success (toys / food / small candy)
- lots of undies
- beverages and salty snacks
- activities to keep busy!

We had been talking up big girl undies for several days and were committed to undies from that point forward whenever she was awake. I explained that diapers were for sleeping and I know that it will be awhile before she is dry overnight - her diapers are still soaked in the morning, and almost always wet after nap.

(And, to be fair, this was our experience. Our girl had been successfully using the potty at daycare for almost 2 weeks, so this wasn't a huge new experience to her. We probably had an easier time of things than some others ...)

We started our day, bright and early, with both Mom and Dad on deck - no sleeping in this time! I took her diaper off, put her undies on and we went downstairs for breakfast. No PJs or clothes to get in the way, which was her choice.

We started breakfast, but I set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes and explained that we would try to go peepee on the potty when the bell went off. We tried mid-breakfast, with no success, but she got a reward for dry undies. We tried again in 10 minutes and again in 10 minutes and I can't remember when she first had success, but she continued to get rewards for dry undies and then we spaced the timer out to 15 minutes. Meanwhile, I was pushing beverages and whatever she wanted to eat to help her have success.

We continued this way ALL day - timer every 15 minutes, she had to try when it went off, and we had quite a few successes with only 1 accident when she was playing and didn't tell us she needed to go. It is hard to know how long to have your child sit on the potty to "try" - Ellen won't sit there for any length of time if she doesn't feel she has to go. No use forcing her and enduring the battle.

This is an exhausting undertaking because you are constantly "on" - trying to catch them in the act. I try not to let Ells watch much TV regularly, but there are days she watches more than I would like. I didn't want her to watch much, if any, TV at the potty party because she can zone out. We played lots of Play-doh and read books and colored and played on the new iPad (hooray!) which is another good reward.

She got a diaper for nap, and slept well after an attention-packed morning. I am just choosing to continue using diapers rather than Pull Ups, mostly because they are less expensive and we have tons. I just made the distinction that diapers are only for sleeping. Also, Ellen is still in a crib. My bestie (the behavior analyst) commented that she didn't know of any kids who potty trained while still in a crib!?! Ellen hasn't shown ANY signs of getting out of her crib, so I'm leaving her there. Since she is wearing diapers in bed it isn't a big deal, and when she transitions to a big bed she will probably be closer to wearing undies at nap/bed and we can deal with that then.

After nap, she went straight from crib to potty and then right back in undies. We continued our routine for the afternoon with lots of success. She maybe told us once or twice all day that she needed to go, which I thought was really good.

We had a family dinner and ended it with chocolate cake with sprinkles and we congratulated her TONS on having such a great day of pottying! It helped that both sets of grandparents stopped by, too, to get in on the high fives.

On Sunday, we continued with a similar routine, but a little more relaxed and no pushing of fluids. We used the timer some in the morning, then just switched to asking her about every 15-20 minutes if she needed to go. We had an accident or two when she said she didn't need to go, but I think it is a learning experience to wet your pants and see that you don't like it! Of course, no reprimanding for accidents - just better luck next time! She still got rewards for potty success, but she also had to (attempt) wipe, flush and wash her hands to get a reward. She got a reward for dry undies if she asked, but she mostly forgot about it.

After three full days at home, I felt very good about her overall success with peeing on the potty. She was telling us more when she needed to go, though still requires quite a bit of prompting a week+ later. I have also found that sometimes she won't take the time to try to go unless I "threaten" her. Not a mean threat, of course, but if I know she hasn't peed in an hour or more and she wants to color with chalk or play Play doh, I'll tell her we can't do it until she peepees. Miracle of miracles, she almost always does! I won't claim that this is good parenting, but she is so anxious to play that she often won't sit long enough on the potty to give it a fair shot. And, I always try my hardest to get her to pee before we leave the house, and then we find the bathroom and try again when we get to our destination. We haven't attempted a Target run or grocery run yet, but the plan will be the same. Guess I better find all those bathrooms!

Also, after three full days at home, no poop success. More on that later ... I know you can't wait.

Potty Party! The Prep ...

2011-04-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

We dove head-first into the potty training and have come out on the other side, relatively unscathed. I'll note here what we did for the future - perhaps it will be useful to you, too.

I think I might have mentioned that I attended a potty training class put on by my local Parents as Teachers group almost a year ago. It was way too early to be thinking about it, but I thought we might approach potty training before the next class rolled around. I would recommend something similar if you have access - it helps to recognize the signs of readiness and begin to formulate a plan of attack.

Just about 6 weeks ago I thought we weren't close to potty training, then our daycare teacher indicated that Ells was probably ready - she was successfully using the potty at school, was dry for a few hours at a time and was asking to go on occasion. Okay then. We waited until after our vacation, then went for it! It was earlier than I had planned / hoped, but I didn't want to miss our window of opportunity and 2 1/2 years is really the average age for potty training, which we are close to.

(To be fair, we had been talking a lot about the potty, trying before bath or bed or if Ellen asked, and working on her taking off her own pants or shorts. We read potty books here and there, not with an agenda, but just for general awareness.)

Most of my plan of attack was formulated by my bestie (the behavior analyst) and my other bestie (who writes down what the behavior analyst says). Bestie #2 potty trained her son earlier this spring, so I just did what she did!

Most of this is centered on the Potty Party / Potty Training In A Day idea. For a child who is ready, you can probably be reasonably potty trained within one day. Sound too good to be true? It isn't!

We started by talking about the upcoming "potty party" as soon as we got home from vacay. "In 1 week, no more diapers when you are awake! Are you excited for your potty party? You can wear undies!!" Blah, blah, blah ...

We shopped for big girl undies at Target - together. You must let them pick them out! And, we got tons - I bet about 35 pairs. Totally overkill, but you want to be sure to have PLENTY on hand for accidents the first weekend, and then if you need to send some to daycare or wherever. And word to the wise, the Circo brand undies are, shall we say, pretty form fitting. It seems like the underwear sizing for little girls is maybe different than clothes? I am so bad at that kind of thing. We ended up with size 4, because it was the smallest on the shelf, and it's fine for all the other brands.

I casually asked Ellen what surprise she might want at the end of her potty party and she asked for a chocolate cake with sprinkles. Easy. Done. (I think there may be some suggestion to actually take your child out of the house to a restaurant or some such as a surprise, but we elected not to.)

At our weekly grocery run, I had her point out treats she might like for her potty party. We never have juice boxes or chocolate milk in the house, but I planned to be a full-on beverage pimp, so wanted to have something enticing to her. I did a solo grocery run the Friday before our potty party and picked up a cart full of "junk": chocolate milk boxes, regular milk boxes, 2 kinds of juice boxes, jelly beans, M&Ms, salty snacks of all types, cereal bars, fruit snacks, fruit leathers, and a chocolate cake mix with sprinkles!

I also picked up a lot of treats / rewards / incentives. Each family will figure out the best way to do this - some use food and some don't. I elected to go kind of middle ground ... I'm not opposed to food as a reward, but I wanted her to have more to choose from so that she might not always pick candy. Our girl likes stickers, but not enough that I felt that stickers would really be rewarding to her. She does LOVE band aids, though, so I got several kinds of character band aids and cut up some stickers to all go in a box as her reward for each time she had dry undies.

When she successfully used the potty she got to pick from a box of bigger rewards: cereal bars, fruit snacks, fruit leathers, toys from the $1 aisle at Target, pieces of sidewalk chalk, small tubs of Play-doh, coloring books. Basically I just picked up some toys that I knew she already liked and that came in enough pieces that I could divide them up for rewards. I also happened upon an Elmo potty training coloring book that had a sticker chart. We read through the book the night before the potty party and she got to color in it the day of. The sticker chart worked for about 5 rounds of dry undies, and then she was over it.

I know this is really long ... I'll add the details of our day in another post. And then we'll get to the pooping - excitement!

Safety First

2011-04-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

Have I titled another blog post this way? I think that pretty much means I am NOT in the running for mom of the year.

Just a heads up for you on a few safety scares of late ... don't want to find you shaking your head and pacing in the rain like I was.

#1 - "Travel Safety"
Our recent trip was super excellent, though left some parenting skills to be desired. On our first full day there, I put Ells down late for her nap in a pack n' play in a strange place - never a recipe for good napping. She seemed to be quiet, though the monitor wasn't working, so about 40 minutes into her "nap" I wandered to the bottom of the stairs to hear her yelling, "Mommy! Poopy!" Uhhhh ... at our house that means, "come change me!", but I wasn't sure what that meant elsewhere. Sure enough - I walk into the dark room to find her naked bum holding her diaper out over the edge of the pack n' play. Mind you, this is really only the second occasion that she has taken her diaper off in bed. I panic, then thank god that said poop is still entirely contained in the diaper and she hasn't peed in the meantime. I turn on all the lights, get her out of bed, and put her about 10 feet from me in the same room while I clean things up. Moments later I hear her spitting, and I round to the corner of the bed to find her spitting out Advil (!). She had managed to unzip our suitcase, get out my husband's dop kit, upzip it, find the (loose) Advil and started eating it. In like 2 minutes. Of course it looked just like candy, and thankfully didn't taste like it. GAH!

My point is ... medicine is clearly baby-proofed at our own house, though I didn't really think twice about throwing (relatively) loose medicine into my travel bag. Consider yourself warned.

#2 - "Have a spare"
Miss Ellen is a petite thing (well, to be fair, in height more than girth), but she does keep growing and is now tall enough to reach door handles and open doors. Our house is older, with some sticky doors and knobs, but she can mostly get into and out of wherever she wants. Soooo ... I was standing on the front porch Friday saying good-bye to a friend and Ells kept shutting the front door, and I kept opening it back up. Our front door generally is pretty sticky, so she couldn't shut it all the way. However. She did apparently learn to turn the little lock in the doorknob and slammed the door hard enough that I was locked out. In the (light) rain. With no spare key. The back door, which we usually use, was still locked because we hadn't yet been out for the day. I also learned that Ellen isn't super quick with the charades, but I did finally get back in. Lesson learned -get yourself a spare key to keep outside if you don't already! Soon enough your kid will be locking you out on purpose ...

I love me some Tina Fey

2011-04-22T07:30:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the radio silence ... this potty training business is exhausting, on top of vaca-recovery and just general life-ness. I haven't paid this must intensive attention to my daughter since our first days home from the hospital and I think we are both tired of each other. :)

That being said, thanks to my friend Julie for giving me a laugh today via my friend (I wish!) Tina Fey. I know you've heard about her new book, Bossypants. I hope I can find some time to read it, and actually, maybe I can now that I am the owner of an iPad! Yessssss.

Back to the topic at hand .... Tina Fey's "The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter":

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Have baby, will travel: take 4

2011-04-13T07:30:00.001-05:00

We successfully completed our 3rd airplane trip with Miss E, including her first purchased plane ticket. Booo. It is quite painful to pay hundreds of dollars for your toddler to have a seat on a plane, but I must say that it would have been a pretty miserable trip if Ellen was sitting on one of our laps (or more likely playing lap roulette) the entire trip.

I polled my friends via the Facebook about travel tips with toddlers and it was so interesting to see their answers! People were very evenly split about buckling your child in their car seat vs. checking the car seat for your destination. I was torn, but in the end we elected to check the car seat. Our theory was that we would check it on departure and, if the trip was a nightmare, we could buckle her in on the trip home.

She did great! We talked a lot in advance about wearing your seatbelt the whole trip, and there wasn't even a peep about getting out of her seat. In the end, I think you just have to judge how your child would likely behave. Ells is pretty content with food and DVDVs (yes, that is what she calls them), and I was willing to bet she would be content with an endless supply of fun new treats and Curious George movies for a mere 90 minutes without any plane changes. Turns out, I bet correctly. :)

Our rental car situation was SO much more pleasant with our own car seat vs. our previous attempt with their "vintage" car seat. We didn't even use a car seat bag - Southwest wrapped it up in a plastic sack for us - and things came out just fine.

My other tips are pretty minimal, but include packing a disposable plate/napkin/utensils if you will be traveling at mealtime. I packed a dinner of a fruit cup, PB&J sandwich, Horizon milk box (doesn't have to be refrigerated) and cheese stick. Everything fit in the standard approved quart bag and they didn't give me any hassle that the liquids weren't all 3oz. or less. We brought 2 suitcases for all 3 of us, plus 2 backpacks as carry-ons and it worked perfectly.

The best part of our trip, of course, was the destination. Watching our girl play with my best girlfriends' kiddos was just priceless. Tiring? Ummm, YES. New playmates apparently equals very poor sleep. None the less, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Another sale! Art!

2011-04-05T11:04:00.004-05:00

I love the idea of having an oversized picture of your kid in your house, like really a huge quirky one.

These images are from Lilly's Notebook, via Lulu DK for Lonny.

I ordered a large canvas on sale from One Kings Lane a few months ago and I'm still trying to decide on which picture to use.

They are on sale again today from Chic Canvas, sale through 4/8/11 at 8am PDT.

If you don't have a OKL account, here is a referral link - they have lots of great sales!
https://www.onekingslane.com/invite/MollyLund

Let's check it out

2011-04-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

Get it?
Check out?
Books?

Yep, we've finally made it to the library. I'm totally a slacker, as my mom is a former librarian and is still on the library board, but we just hadn't made it there. I feel like I checked out the infant story time and it didn't work with our schedule, and then I guess I just forgot about it.

Fast forward and story time is now on my day off, so we have been a few times and Ells is really getting into it. She loves to wander the aisles and pick out books to bring home, and these books are SO much more popular than the ones we already own. Of course.

I let her help me scan the books and get the receipt. We only had minimal trauma the first time we had to bring the books back, but now I think she gets the concept of "borrowing."

She did, however, rip a page out of one of the borrowed books. She has only done this about 3 times ever, so of course it had to be in a book we didn't own. Now we do own it, though, so if your child wants to rip a page out of a library book, make sure it is one you like!

Sunscreen Sale!

2011-03-29T11:29:00.003-05:00

On this cold day, with flurries threatening, let's think about sunscreen!

I just got an email with a Deal of the Day that I thought was worth passing along (after I took advantage myself, obviously).

DailyCandy has some good daily deals they offer, though honestly I find that my inbox gets too clogged up with these types of things.

Today the deal is 25% off your purchase at 3floz. com, which is a website with a variety of beauty products that come in 3oz size or smaller for traveling. Or, if you just want to try a product, this is a good way! (Enter: DAILYCANDY25 at checkout)

So, you may not need beauty products, but they do offer my very most favorite sunscreen - SuperGoop! These products are pricey, but I love, love, love their sunscreen swipes and I also ordered the new SPF spray this year (so good for Ellen's scalp).

SuperGoop always offers free shipping over $40, but 3floz.com also offers free shipping over $50. So, with the discount, it is totally the way to go!

Happy shopping ... and here's to some sunshine in our near future!

For posterity

2011-03-25T08:23:00.005-05:00

Ashley Ann's Under the Sycamore blog is one of my daily reads. I have about 4 must-read blogs each day (other than friends), and hers is one of them. I'm not exactly sure why - her crafty style really isn't my style, but I like her writing and I think her pictures are really great.

She had a good post last week about Getting in the Shot - putting yourself in pictures with your kids. I am totally guilty of not doing this, and it makes me sad. I have very few pictures of Ellen and me together, and they are mostly at holidays or birthdays - not the everyday stuff we do together.

I have been trying to make an effort - this is a picture of our "popcorn picnic" (snacks on cold/snowy days are miraculously more fun if they are served sitting on the floor on a blanket!). It isn't in focus (need more practice), but I'm happy to have the memory ...

In a mere 11 years ...

2011-03-25T07:55:00.003-05:00

I know I've posted things before about the challenges of raising girls. Since I don't have a boy, I really can't comment on that, but it sure seems to me that there are special challenges we face raising girls. Maybe not now so much, but it's the future that scares the bejeezus out of me. The Huz says it all the time, too ... he sees little teenage girls shopping, or playing grab-ass with the young Bieber-ish kid, and he just shakes his head and mumbles.

I've also posted things from Clover Lane before. She is the mother of 5 kids (4 boys) and I like a lot of what she says about common sense parenting. Her post this week: What About Our Girls? Childhood Cut Short really made sense to me.

I agree that you can't raise your child in a bubble, but I also think it is true that the parents in your community influence how you parent your child, whether you like it (or admit it) or not. You can make the rules for your child, but if your child's 10 friends follow another rule, you might have a battle on your hands. Fight one battle? Sure. Fight 100? That will wear you down.

Up until now, Ellen's friends have been the children of our friends. Obviously, we like their parents and they probably have a similar parenting philosophy to us, but this means we have been choosing Ellen's friends. I think we are starting to get to the stage of playing with friends from school that SHE chooses. This is fun to see, but I suppose it also means the start of that parenting-play date dance. One of our friends said something a few months ago that rang true - when your child starts kindergarten, the other classroom parents will become part of your social circle for the next 13ish years, whether you like it or not.

Choose wisely. :)

Take a seat

2011-03-24T07:30:00.000-05:00

Did you read about the new American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines for car seat safety?

You can read an article here: AAP's New Car Seat Guidelines Change Rear Facing & Booster Rules

We kept Ellen rear-facing in her convertible car seat until about 19 months, and would have gone longer if it wasn't for the pukey-puke fest that we had been enduring. She is short, with short legs, so we didn't have any trouble with her complaining about being cramped.

I found the new high-backed booster seat recommendation especially interesting ... I don't think Ellen will be 4 feet 9 inches tall until she is driving!

Penny Pinching

2011-03-21T07:56:00.003-05:00

This isn't kid-related, so much, but maybe a good reminder to do some spring cleaning of your budget and finances.

I think we do a pretty good job of managing our finances, but we haven't done an in-depth budget and review credit reports since before Ellen was born and we were in that diapers-and-daycare-cost-how-much? phase. It was part of the nesting then, I guess, and now just part of some spring cleaning.

You can visit AnnualCreditReport.com to get a free copy of your credit report (1 per year from each of 3 companies). You have to purchase your credit score if you need it, but at least you would know if there were any potential issues on your credit history.

Erik also used to be pretty dedicated to entering all of our banking and credit card information into Microsoft Money, but really, who has time for that anymore? I just signed up at Mint and it seems like a pretty neat thing. You enter all of your banking / credit card / loan / mortgage / investment accounts and it sucks in all the information and has some budgeting formulas it uses. I haven't played around with it much, but you might find you like it. It's as secure as any other online banking service.

Finally, I am manually going back through the last year of our credit card and bank statements to classify our purchases into categories. Tedious? Totally. But, I want to have as accurate a picture of our spending as I can. You smart financial people probably already know that you can get a year-end summary on your credit card website (we put almost everything on our credit card and pay it off each cycle), where they either classify it by store or category - very helpful.

So, that's the spring cleaning we have going on around here. The next (overwhelming) task is the yard - who is coming to help?

Dare I say it?

2011-03-13T19:45:00.003-05:00

Just as an update, I think I may actually be onto something with the cow clock and timer system we have going on at bedtime.

I first mentioned our KID'Sleep Alarm Clock back in September. I feel like it has been successful over the last 6 months, but the concept of staying quietly in bed until the "cow is dancing" is really sinking in. I would say that most mornings of the week, Ells wakes up before 6:30am (dance time!), but she stays relatively quiet until she sees the cow dancing. Then she promptly yells out, "Mom! Dad! Come get me! Cow dancing! I go downstairs!" and we're off for the day. I have been sneaking in before I go to bed to put a stack of books in her crib to keep her occupied, but she only gets her loveys and stuffed animals at bedtime.

I was a bit concerned about daylight savings, and this was really the big test. She got in bed about 8:00pm, so 9:00pm new time. I was afraid she would wake up, see her cow at 6:30am, and be awake for the day, when it was really 5:30am old time. I moved the alarm to 7:30am, and she didn't yell out until 7:34am. So, while this was still her "usual" wake time, I felt like it proved she was paying attention to the dancing cow and we didn't have any hitch with daylight savings. I'll take it!

As for the timer, I'm still pleased with our progress. The 20 minute window seems to be working and, while she might protest when the bell goes off, there is no longer a protracted tantrum and she (pretty readily) turns out the lights. We rock and sing in the chair for a bit, then into bed. I've noticed she is trying to draw out the scratch my back / covers / lovey routine once she gets in bed, but she is easier to quiet once her room is dark.

Prior to the timer, we had gotten into a bad habit of going back up to her room several times a night when she called out for any number of "necessary" things before she fell asleep. As a bonus, most of that has gone away since starting the timer. I'm not really sure the two events are related, but again, I'll take it!

(not?) A bunch of hooey

2011-03-11T07:40:00.002-06:00

I mentioned that I attended a discipline class a week or so ago, based on the books of Dr. Becky Bailey and her Conscious Discipline workshops.

I was really looking for a time-out solution, as ours was hardly doing the trick. I had been working with a modified version of the Love and Logic Uh-Oh song, but hadn't been very consistent. We had a time-out corner, but I had to stand there with Ellen to try (try being the operative word) to keep her there for even 30 seconds. The Love and Logic guys say that standing in the corner (or going to your room, or whatever ...) should be punishment enough and you don't need to demand an apology or explain what your child did - they are smart enough to figure it out on their own. For older kids I agree with a lot of this, but the translation to toddlers is much more challenging. And, in the end, it never seemed to solve our issues.

So, fast forward to "The Safe Place". I'll admit that when I heard this in class I thought it sounded ridiculous, like a bunch of granola-flowerchild-parenting. Here is my brief explanation of what they taught us - I'm sure the books go into much more detail. The idea is that "Time Out" is replaced by "Safe Place". Kids between the ages of 15 months and 4 years are primarily in an "emotional state" and their primary concern is, Am I Loved? They are very egocentric at this age (yep, that sounds about right). So, by sending your child away for time out, you are contributing to the problem because they just want to be with you.

The Safe Place can be a favorite chair, or an item (doll / lovey), or even a parent. It can be in the room you are in, or close to it, just so the child isn't isolated. If Sally takes a toy from Suzie and hits her, then you can take Sally to the Safe Place, sit with her and help her talk through her emotions. "I can see that you were frustrated when Suzie took your toy, so you hit her. Let's sit in this safe place until you feel better." And when the child calms down, you can practice what you would change next time. A hug and a kiss, then back to playing. Eventually, the idea is that the child would just go to their Safe Place when they are feeling out of control and would re-join the group when they are feeling better.

Hooey, right?

So, the day after class, I found Ellen in the midst of some kind of meltdown. I just grabbed her, sat with her in a chair, and hugged her tight in a bear hug (to keep her from hitting me and biting me - where is my safe place?). I talked her through whatever the issue was, she calmed down, we hugged it out and she was fine - issue resolved. I was pretty impressed, actually. I used it several more times and felt it was a pretty successful technique.

HOWEVER.

I am pretty much the Safe Place at this point. If I am the object of her anger (which, let's face it, is often the case), she really doesn't want to be confined in a bear hug in a chair. We've got some kinks to work out, but I think it is always helpful to add some more tools to your discipline tool belt.

And, it has been pretty cute to hear Ellen say, "I upset. I have tears on my face. Hug?"

Tick, tick, tick, tick ...

2011-03-06T07:30:00.000-06:00

I hope this doesn't make me sound like a drill Sargent, but I have added a kitchen timer to our bedtime routine. It just started last week - and we are still working on the process - but I think I am seeing positive improvements. (Wishful thinking? Maybe).

Here is my rationale:
1. Ellen doesn't understand the concept of time. If I say, "You're wasting time messing around when you could be reading books!" she doesn't care/know any better.

2. I would rather the timer be the bad guy than me. (Carrie - does this even make behavioral sense? I really don't know).

My plan was to set the timer as soon as we got upstairs to get ready for bed. I set it for 20 minutes, which should be plenty of time to change a diaper, put on PJs, brush teeth and read books. When the bell goes off, we stop what we are doing, turn out the lights and get in bed.

We shopped for the timer together - Ellen picked it out - and then we decorated it at home with stickers that she picked out. We had a lot of conversation about how we were going to use the timer at bedtime and practiced listening to it.

The 1st night? As you can imagine, NOT a pretty scene. Ells messed around, despite lots of reminders about the timer, and threw a big fat fit when the bell went off. I expected it, though she actually did settle pretty quickly.

The 2nd night was quite a bit better, per Dad's report. We had a previous rule of 2 books before bed, but now we can read as many as we can fit in before the bell. She only likes to read to herself now, so she read about 7 books and was quite pleased with herself. :)

The 3rd night was again not great, which I'll chalk up to a stomach bug. (I promise I'm not a terrible parent - despite 2 episodes of vomit, she had been very cheerful all evening).

She got night #4 off because grandmother was over!

By Sunday night, the bell went off, we finished our "Curious George Goes to the Library" story, and she was off to bed with minimal resistance.

I really do enjoy our bedtime routine, but I enjoy the reading and laughs and cuddles, and not the endless protests. I think this is helping ... we'll see if it stands the test of time.

(Time - get it? Ha. Such a comic!)

Lovin' the lovey

2011-03-04T07:42:00.004-06:00

This is a cute idea with lots of applications ...

I found it via Lilly's Notebook - Hippopota - via the New York Times:

And here is the Hippopota website if you want to order a custom photo ... starting at $500. I think this is ripe for a DIY, no?

Take a seat

2011-03-03T07:30:00.002-06:00

Well, we're getting closer to potty time around here.

I'm totally not pushing it and - truth be told - I'm really not ready, even if Little Miss is (she isn't). Diapers are convenient. We can run errands without a care in the world. I like it.

I took a potty training class several months ago and have heard lots about the signs of readiness. I think Ells is starting to show some of them, but certainly isn't there yet. I'm aiming for summer when we will have fewer clothes to deal with! That being said, Ellen does get to sit on the potty when she asks, and often before bed or bath. We had two successes this week - pure coincidence I'm sure - but seems like we are on the potty train, for better or worse.

We have very little real estate in our bathrooms and I've heard people say that dealing with the little potty chair can be kind of gross. We have several friends who have used these 2-in-1 toilet seats, so I went ahead and invested this week.

This is the Bemis NextStep Toilet Seat that I found at Home Depot for about $30. The kid seat has a magnet, so it usually sticks to the lid unless you specifically pull it down. Seems to work well so far, and so nice not to navigate around the little bitty potty!

Any other tips while we're at it?

Positive Parenting

2011-02-25T07:30:00.000-06:00

I went to another discipline class tonight put on by my local Parents as Teachers organization. My mom was nice enough to sit with Ells and she asked how the class was ... Well, unless they are going to come to your house and discipline your kid, I guess it isn't all that helpful. :)

I have been feeling the need for a refresher on my approach to discipline. I really liked the Love and Logic classes I took last spring, but our issues now are so different. The class tonight was similar, but based on Dr. Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline books and workshop.

I took away a few good nuggets of info, along with a lot of good reminders of things I already knew I should do. There was a new approach to time out that I need to wrap my head around, but overall I feel like I will just try harder to approach things positively and with an even temper. There was a Q&A session at the end, and I also felt lucky that we don't have a lot of the issues that other parents are dealing with!

My favorite reminder of the night was about genuine encounters. Connection with your child breeds cooperation - make eye contact and touch/hug/cuddle in a playful way. Only 5 minutes a day of focused play with your child will decrease your power struggles by 50%. Intuitive? Yes. BUT - so easy to miss this opportunity on crazy work days.

While we're at it - how are you approaching time out? (And, more importantly, does it seem to work?)

They call her Houdini

2011-02-21T07:30:00.000-06:00

Well, it happened.

We had the first experience of diaper-taken-off-in-the-crib. Three times. Last night.

I knew it was coming ... Ells just learned to take her pants off, which she finds endlessly entertaining. She took her diaper off in the living room one night last week while we were cooking dinner. I tried to respond appropriately without inciting her to do it again ... and it seemed to work ... well .... until last night.

The little Miss is a pretty short thing, so the only PJ's that fit her are pants and tops (currently 18-24 months and she is 26 months). We have found her in the morning a few times with no pants on, but the diaper has stayed intact.

Our bedtime routine lately has been super aggravating with lots of ups and downs and back and forths (a topic for another time), so it wasn't anything new to hear her chatting in bed far past her bedtime. I went up to tell her to be quiet and saw a white fluffy thing on the floor. I didn't recall a blanket in her bed that looked like that, then quickly realized what it was. I turned on the light and the sweet little thing was sitting naked in her crib with a sheepish, yet proud, look on her face. Hoping it was a one-time event, I calmly admonished her, re-diapered and re-dressed her, and put her back in bed.

Ten minutes later ... Mommy, mommy, mommy! ... the wet sheets must have done her in this time, as yet again the diaper was on the floor and she had peed in her bed. It is quite the challenge to respond appropriately in this situation - you want to get the point across that it is NOT ok, yet don't want to start a game. Thank goodness we had one pair of footie PJ's in her drawer - they are 2 pieces that snap together at the waist. I thought we had fooled her for sure, and she seem exhausted, so I assumed we were done.

Five minutes later ... I go to check on the noise in her room and find a half-nakey girl in her crib, arm out of her shirt (Flashdance-style) and diaper #3 on the floor. You have to be freaking kidding. Who knew she could do snaps? And, snaps in the back no less? (Congrats on the fine motor skills, little gal). The look on her face was just priceless, almost like, why do my pants keep coming off? She seemed kind of bewildered at the whole thing. :) I couldn't stop laughing, nor could Daddy-O, though we tried to shield our faces as best we could.

Our last attempt seemed to work fine - all the de-pantsing must have worn her out - and she was soon fast asleep. I am off to Old Navy today to get zip up PJ's that we will turn backwards, I guess.

Counting my blessings that 3 diapers off = only 1 set of wet sheets. Hallelujah.

Life-changing

2011-02-18T07:41:00.002-06:00

Well, that might be drastic. Kitchen-changing, for sure.

I'm just muddling through the parenting thing these days without much to report, so I'll expand on my family-dinner theme this week ...

I was trying to come up with a Mexican-themed dinner this week to use up the avocados and tomatoes I had on hand. We always have some chicken breasts in the freezer, but I generally don't have any creative uses for them. I thawed a few and thought I would come up with something, then serendipitously came across this technique:

How to Cook Moist & Tender Chicken Breasts Every Time at The Kitchn

They aren't kidding! It worked great for me - truly a revelation. I just added about 1 Tbs of Mexican spices to the flour for some extra flavor, but you could use anything or nothing at all. I squeezed 4 chicken breasts into the pan and we had two for dinner that night, along with two the following night chopped up for tacos - I just rewarmed them in a nonstick skillet.

The best part, though, is that it takes 20 minutes once you put the lid on. You can definitely whip up a side dish or salad, or get your kid's plate ready and the table set while you are waiting for the chicken to finish.

Give it a try!

Save Elmo!

2011-02-14T07:30:00.000-06:00

Thanks, Cool Mom Picks, for the title ...
see their article SAVE ELMO! here.

If your child partakes of Sesame Street, or any of the other kid-programming on PBS ...

Or, if you love to spend time in your car because you can listen to NPR ...

Make your opinion known at 170 Million Americans for Public Broadcasting.

Without getting too political, there is a funding crisis in this country and I fear things are going to get bad, fast. We all need to step up and raise our voices for causes we believe in.

I'm raising my voice about this one .... You?

Family dinner

2011-02-11T08:08:00.003-06:00

I've made some effort in the last few weeks to try to get food on the table in an appropriate amount of time for all of us to eat together.

And?

It is really nice.

Ells has been trying to drag out bedtime more and more these days, so even if I am no-nonsense, she is rarely in bed with lights out before 730pm. And even then, there is lots of going up and down to replace socks, or covers, or something else important. Eating dinner at 800pm is too late for me, or my dinner just gets cold due to the constant interruptions.

I also think eating at the table with us makes Ellen a little bit more comfortable with eating at restaurants. We don't eat out with her very often, but I will jinx it and say she has been doing better. Confining her to the inside seat of a booth seems to work best - a little bit of freedom, but she can't run wild.

Finally, I notice that she is more willing to try foods that we are all eating together, rather than if I just give her the leftovers the next day. This isn't rocket science, I know, but nice to see that it sometimes works in practice.

What this does mean for me, though, is that I need to have a few really easy meals planned for the week, and something that seems reasonably kid friendly. We haven't been a big taco family, but that is a great one for all of us. Pasta works pretty well, too. She isn't big on soups (or, I should say, she isn't big on soups at home. She seems to eat them just fine at school). It takes more planning on the front end, but I like getting into the habit a bit more.

What about you? What are your go-to, family-friendly meals?

When you are stuck inside .... for days

2011-02-08T07:30:00.000-06:00

A friend posted this on Facebook the other day and I think it is genius:

www.barnesandnoble.com/storytime

Type it in, and you should come to the kid's storytime page, with a different story each month (I think).

Generally speaking, I don't agree with the concept of farming out book-reading to strangers; however, I think this is a more educational use of screen time, and it is a novelty for the little ones.

Someone else knows the Pinkalicious story? Amazing!

The current story is Pinkalicious, which Ellen loves and I am growing to despise. There are some good old stories, too, if you look in the archives - a fun way to spend part of an afternoon when you can't go outside for fear you will lose your child in a snow drift.

I eat it all up, Mama

2011-01-29T22:24:00.002-06:00

We've officially entered the chicken finger phase at our house.

On a few occasions we've been out running around, and I've stopped to get Ellen a quick lunch - a chicken finger and fruit. Of course, she devours the chicken finger, when at home it is virtually impossible to get the girl to eat any meat.

So, I went the "home-chicken finger" route and made some of my own to stash in the freezer.

I got some chicken tenders from Whole Foods and made these Oatmeal-Crusted Chicken Tenders from Cooking Light. If you make them, read the reviews and make a few alterations. I think they are just OK as written, but Ells eats them. They were definitely super easy - I just baked them in the oven, let them cool and stashed them in the freezer. It only takes about 5 minutes in the toaster oven to heat one up for dinner - add some ketchup or BBQ sauce and she is a pretty happy girl.

Do you have any good recipes like this?

How do you get your kid to eat more protein?

Good reminders

2011-01-28T15:02:00.001-06:00

Are you snowed in today?

We are. Maybe this is a good way to fill your time ...

While it is a scary thought, I read this post on Young House Love recently about fire safety and it was a good reminder of some things I've been meaning to do.

Read here: On A Serious Note

Particularly, I've been meaning to sign up for an online back-up service - do any of you use one that you like?

Thanks for the tip, I need it this week

2011-01-28T07:30:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you all, but the dark circles under my eyes have become outta control since the joyous occasion of childbirth. Oh yeah, and my hair is crazy and sucks, but - hey - I've got a darling 2-year-old! :)

There is a picture of me with Ellen, just shortly after coming home from the hospital, where I am holding this tiny little baby and I'm looking up at the camera and the dark circles under my eyes are crazy. It is one of the only pictures I've seen of myself where I saw it and immediately thought I looked exactly like my father's family. Not that they all have terrible dark circles, but that our faces looked so similar and it clearly is genetic. Yes, let's blame it on that.

I've never been one to spend a lot of time on my make-up in the mornings, but I've really felt that I needed something extra in the cover-up department since becoming a mom. That is, when I have time to get to Sephora or the make-up counter, which is never. I tried a few new products, which haven't been miraculous, but make me feel a little bit better. I also just switched all my make-up to Bare Escentuals ... do any of you use it? It took a little bit of getting used to, but I do really like it.

I just saw this tip today on Ain't No Mom Jeans about highlighter ... maybe this is worth a shot?

How are you covering up the late nights that show themselves on your face?

One of those days

2011-01-25T10:15:00.002-06:00

It's a wheezing-kid, no daycare, 7am meeting, car being towed - kind of day around here.

i.e. NO BLOGGING.

I have learned, though, that life just doesn't work as well without lots of grandparents around and a helpful spouse. Trying to see the beauty in that silver lining today!

Snow day?

2011-01-21T07:30:00.000-06:00

How do you spend your time with your toddler on unexpected snow days? Yesterday marked the first of 5 days of togetherness and I know I will need to be pulling out the reinforcements by the time Monday rolls around.

(On a related note, to you full time stay-at-home mothers, BLESS YOU.)

I admit that I succumb to the demand of "More Livia, Mommy. More pirate. More garden. NOW!" When you can't leave the house and can't go outside, TV=sanity preserver.

My sister-in-law let me know about a website for crafty ideas the other day that is probably worth a look: Tools for Motherhood.

I think I've posted some of these before, but here are some websites for crafty inspiration:
The Artful Parent
Make and Takes
Made by Joel
Mini-Eco

Valentine's day is coming up ... maybe you can get a head start on gifts for the grandparents? (Let me know if you do, because I usually get around to that the day before).

In case you were wondering, Ells did spend a significant portion of her day imaginary painting every surface in our house with the silicone basting brush. You could try that, too. :)

Play Pin-cess, mommy?

2011-01-17T07:30:00.000-06:00

I previously mentioned my unease with princesses.

I don't recall that I ever went through a princess phase, though admittedly my memory is crap. I think most little girls go through a dress-up / fancy dress phase, though I think when we were children the number of princesses was much smaller (i.e. Cinderella - DONE), and most certainly the Disney marketing machine was nothing like it is today.

Miss E really doesn't talk about princesses yet, but I know that day is coming. She likes to wear tiaras and jewelry, but that is the extent of the dress up so far. I want to have an appropriate response when the princess train roars through our house ...

So, to my point, do any of you get Parents magazine? There was a nice article this month (which I can't find online) called The Power of the Princess. It includes an interview with Peggy Orenstein about her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girly-Girl Culture.

I certainly can't summarize the book, but one of the main points is that a lot of parents try to avoid princesses at all costs, only to miss the fact that traditional fairy tales often highlight young women who are resourceful, clever, humble and who show strength of character.

Her advice?
1. Tell the fairy tales. Find a version you like and read it together. Movies aren't bad, just consider supplementing with different versions of the story.
2. Don't limit girly things. It's OK for your daughter to love Barbie and dress-up, but give your daughter tools to build a treehouse or fort or castle for her dolls. Encourage a variety of interests.
3. Give your girl choices. Instead of always saying No, figure out what you can live with (princess-wise) and let her choose from those things.

How have you addressed this?

Good reminder

2011-01-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

A lovely sentiment today from Ashley at Under the Sycamore - reminding us to live in the moment with our children, though those moments pass so quickly.

My lips are chappy

2011-01-10T07:30:00.000-06:00

The poor little girl has terrible chapped lips all the time now, despite the fact that she loves (LOVES) to play with chapstick. (It mostly goes on her chin, neck and belly).

"Mama, my lips are chappy." "I need da cha-stick".

We have a humidifier in her room at night, which seems to do nothing. She tends to wipe off Aquaphor or something of the like if I put it on her lips before bed. I read somewhere that using Lanolin works well - very sticky and safe, so we started trying that. And, I'm certain you all have a huge tube of that stuff leftover somewhere from when you were nursing.

She also has that typical kid chapped red skin around her mouth. What is that all about? All I can figure is that she drools in her sleep and it gets irritated? So strange.

How are you tackling these things?

Resolutions?

2011-01-06T07:30:00.000-06:00

Do you make New Years resolutions?

My resolution is not to set myself up to fail, therefore I don't make resolutions.

Projects?
YES.

Things I would like to do?
YES.

Scary lists of goals?
HELL NO.

That being said, it seems popular to make a resolution to exercise more. Back to one of my go-to blogs, Ain't No Mom Jeans ... They had a post yesterday about At-Home Work-Out solutions that seemed very timely (read the comments, too).

Oh, and remember when I posted about how to fit in exercise? My plan lasted for all of about 2 weeks and now my yoga mat is the perfect place for Ells to have a tea party.

In other words, setting myself up to fail?
CHECK.

My, how the tides have turned

2011-01-03T07:30:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

Shall we start this year talking about sleep again? Great, let's do!

Just wanted to note for posterity that Miss E has switched things all around and is now a poor school napper and a great home napper!

I never thought this day would come and, while still annoying in its own way, I much prefer the long naps to be on my watch. It does make our school days pretty dicey - who doesn't dread the screaming child on the way home from daycare? - but our home days are much more pleasant. I can count on a 2 hour nap, at least, and yesterday even had to wake her up after 3 hours which has, oh, NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. She just loves sleeping in her own crib, like the rest of us, I guess.

I'm afraid this may also signal the end of our easy nighttime transitions. We occasionally put her down in the Pack n' Play at a friends house and she generally goes right to sleep and transitions easily back to her own bed. On New Year's Eve, she went down fine, but woke up after a few hours and couldn't go back to sleep in a strange place. She was wide awake when we got home and stayed up for another hour talking to herself in bed. "Twink-a, twink-a, yittle stahr; how I wond-a what you are. Yay!! *clapping*

Cute? Definitely, yes.

Tiring? Also, yes.

Good thing we are generally too tired to have such an active social life. :)

Consider it tackled

2010-12-28T07:30:00.000-06:00

What did I do with my day off yesterday?

Why, organize the clutter, of course!

There are few things that make me as happy as purging, cleaning and organizing THE STUFF before the new year begins. I measured our cabinets, had a plan of attack, and accomplished the goal. Success!!

I purchased some clear boxes at Target to house craft supplies, Playdoh and accessories, and Legos.
We had a small basket in our family room that collected the miscellaneous dolls and toys that didn't otherwise have a home in a drawer or behind closed doors. Despite moving several of the items to the "baby" box in storage, it was still overflowing. I was hoping to find a large storage container with a lid - a nice looking basket or box or something, but I didn't want to spend a ton of money and couldn't find anything I liked on short notice.

We had gift cards to spend and I found these large canvas containers at Pottery Barn Kids. So, free to us and it does the trick. I was hoping for the neutral color, but they were out of stock (of course), and red matches our room OK without looking too childish. We actually got the floor model, which I would recommend, because it was already put together and steamed!
My other goal was to find some way to corral all the food and kitchen accessories that came with the new kitchen that Santa brought. I didn't want to buy a large storage-type piece of furniture, because it was going to be very visible in my living room. I also only had a pretty small corner to work with and I wanted covered / stacking storage.

I took a look on the basket aisle at Michael's and they had two decent looking rectangular woven baskets with hinged lids, two different sizes. They aren't the sturdiest things in the world, but look fine and hold all the gadgets for less than $40 total on sale. Sold.

You can see that I don't have much real estate to work with here, and even less with the new kitchen, but I now have glimpsed the hours and hours of entertainment this will provide the Girl. Worth the sacrifice, no?

Strategic storage

2010-12-20T06:54:00.001-06:00

Well, it has started.

We had our first round of family Christmas and I am already overwhelmed by the number of new things that will be taking up residence in our home.

Until this point, I feel like I have done a decent job of finding hidden storage in a drawer here, or a cabinet there, and most of Ellen's things can be hidden when desired. We are pretty much at capacity, though, and even though I purged some things recently, she still really plays with most of it on a rotating basis.

My current plan is to wait to see the extent of what Santa brings, then shop the after-holiday sales for some decent looking storage containers with lids. (All of this storage is in our living and dining room, of course, not in any magical playroom).

My only tip at this point, as the mother of a young girl, is to have a stash of small boxes or containers on hand for the myriad of little treasures that come through your door. Miss E brought home about 48 Silly Bandz yesterday, which I promptly put in an old Christmas tin. She is more willing to keep them in one place if I show her what that place should be, and she has just as much fun moving them in and out (and in and out and in and out) of that box.

How are you strategic in attacking toy storage?

'tis the Season

2010-12-17T08:51:00.004-06:00

I think I'm finally learning what Christmas is all about when you have a kid in the house. This year seems about 167% more hectic than last year, and we really don't even have all that much on the calendar. Maybe it is the way the holiday falls on a weekend this year, but I just feel like Christmas is coming at a rapid pace, whether I am ready or not, and it is hard to sit back and enjoy the time.

One of my good friends was recently telling me about a book, and I can't remember the title of course because my mind is full of other junk, but it was about keeping your sanity in the Christmas season. And not only from a religious perspective, but just about not over-programming your family, not going crazy on the gift-giving, and making a deliberate effort to focus on special time with your family members.

I feel like I tried to keep the Santa gifts practical and small, but then when I look at the pile I see that Santa grossly over-purchased. The birthday right before Christmas doesn't help things.

I love having a decorated house, but I always feel under the gun to get things up and out, and then the pressure to take them down the second Christmas is over.

I would like to establish one or two special traditions for our family, things that allow us to spend time together, and leave it at that. As Ells grows up, I think we will be more successful with this. We did have a spontaneous trip this week to visit a big Christmas tree and gingerbread village and it was perfect - hot chocolate and treats and a happy girl.

How do you keep the sanity in your holiday activities?

Also, there was a nice post today on Under the Sycamore about giving your children your presence, not only presents. That is the thing they want the most anyway.

In this season of picture taking

2010-12-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

This is a good reminder about the kids in your life ...

Visit Know the Glow and watch the video.

The mom featured in the video is the daughter of a friend of the family. She noticed the glow in her son's eye in some of their family photos and eventually brought it to her doctor's attention, resulting in the diagnosis of an eye disease. Though he doesn't have retinoblastoma, a cancer of the eye, I have worked with children who have this disorder and it can be as devastating as it sounds.

I had heard stories before about parents who noticed a strange or white glow in their child's eye on printed photos. What I didn't realize is that the glow can be very sporadic - perhaps only present in a small percentage of photos over time. This is a really good reminder and something that is worth sharing with your loved ones.

Favors

2010-12-10T07:30:00.000-06:00

What are your feelings on party favors?

I like the idea of giving a little something special to the tiny tots that attend your child's birthday party, but I also don't like the idea of spending money on trinkets that will end up in the trash. I tried to come up with something that would be consumable, and not only food. (Though for a circus party, you must do animal crackers. Right?)

If you are a teacher, or if you have a teacher friend, or if you have older kids, I bet you can get your hands on a big pile of old crayons. And, if you are lucky, they will be free!

Beg and borrow until you get enough for this project. First, you have to unwrap them. Pick out a show on your DVR because it will take a little while ... I found that using a sharp knife to cut all along the side of the crayon works best.

Then, if you are smart, you will start saving empty cans from your recycling bin. I hadn't saved enough and ended up scrounging diet coke cans and cutting the top off with my kitchen shears. Desperate times call for desperate measures. You will need one can for each "color group".

Break the crayons into halves or thirds and add them to the can. Pinch the top of the can a little to make a pour spout.

Fill a saucepan with a few inches of water and bring to a simmer. You will want the water to be at about the level of the crayons when the can is submerged. You will probably have to hold the can down, and it gets hot, so use tongs or an oven mitt. Wait for the crayons to melt. I used a skewer to stir them together for a uniform color, but you can leave them alone for a more swirly effect in your final product.

**Before you start melting, get yourself to your local craft store and pick up a candy mold in whatever theme you are looking for! This one was about $2. **

When your crayons are completely melted, act quickly and pour the wax into your candy mold. You don't have to prep the mold in any way at all. Tap lightly to get any bubbles out, though the crayons start to harden as soon as they are poured. If you have several to do, put them in the freezer to harden faster.

Your new crayons should pop out very easily and, Voila!, you are done!

This mold was pretty deep and it took more crayons than I expected. Err on the side of more rather than less if you are getting crafty.

Birthday shirt

2010-12-08T07:30:00.000-06:00

Last year, I bought a darling first birthday onesie with a cupcake on the front and the girl's name on the back. So, so cute. And, so, so $35 for a one-time wear.

This year, I wised up. I had seen lots of tutorials on freezer paper stenciling and thought this would be the perfect opportunity!

I mostly followed this tutorial on How About Orange. There are also similar instructions on Say Yes! to Hoboken with some really cute examples.

I found a font I liked and made it as big as possible to fit on one sheet of paper (about 640 point, I think this is called Euroscript, or something like that).

I bought a roll of freezer paper at the grocery store for less than $4. I could make about 100 shirts with this roll! Tape your image to the back (shiny) side of the freezer paper.

Flip it over and cut out very carefully with a sharp knife.

I know this picture is bad, but the next step is to iron the stencil on to the shirt (shiny side against fabric). I just got a plain white t-shirt at Target. Next time, I would get a 100% cotton shirt ... this one had some stretch in it, so I had to use a cooler iron setting and the stencil didn't stick perfectly. Also, one of the blogs had a tip to iron a full sheet of freezer paper on the inside to prevent bleeding of the paint, but I couldn't get that to work.

I had some fabric paint from previous projects, so I just used that and a sponge brush to dab it on pretty thickly. I did put a sheet of paper inside the shirt to prevent bleed-through. If your shirt is a light color, you can hold it up to the light to see if you have any patches that need more paint.

Follow the instructions on your paint and let it dry, then peel off the stencil. So Easy!! This was about a $10 project, and next time it would just be the cost of whatever item you are stenciling. The possibilities are endless ....

I don't follow my own advice

2010-12-06T07:30:00.001-06:00

uh, woops.

Remember when I said that thing about not making birthdays a huge deal?

Well, I confess that I unwillingly made this 2-year birthday party a bigger deal than originally intended. It's just so fun, though ... how can you avoid it?

I randomly came across this cute circus-themed party for a 2-year-old and thought it would be the perfect theme for Miss Ells. Then, I remembered this post on Under the Sycamore about popcorn boxes. (Do you read her blog? She is a photographer and has great pictures of her kids with fun crafty projects). Turns out, Hobby Lobby has an entire line of circus-themed party supplies. All of these things conspired together to make me cross the border into crazy-birthday land.

Most of the craziness was crafty projects on my end - the party was still just our family and 2 little friends - but I do really enjoy the crafty part, so that counts for something, right?

I will post about some of the fun crafts this week. In the meantime, though, here is a fun birthday tip: have the special grandparents / aunts / uncles in your life call and leave a message on your voicemail for the little birthday girl or boy. Both grandmothers called Girly on her birthday and she sort of acted interested in holding the phone to her ear. One of her grandfathers, though, left a message because we were out of the house, and she asked to listen to it no fewer than 12 times!

And, here are a couple of blogs that have every cute party idea you could ever imagine!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Sara's Party Perfect

Dearest Girl

2010-12-03T07:30:00.000-06:00

Dearest Ellen,

It is amazing to me that you have been a part of our lives for a mere 2 years, though I can hardly remember how we spent our time before you arrived. It hasn't been the easiest two years, but it has been rewarding and joyful and full of smiles. "Life with Ellen" is the life we want and we feel so fortunate to be your parents.

Birth to age 1 is almost a blur ... it was amazing to watch the change from a tiny, helpless newborn to an independent 1-year-old. The change from 1 to 2, though, has been even more remarkable to me. I love watching the wheels turn in your head as you figure things out. You are so inquisitive and surprise us daily with new things you have learned. I treasure your running commentary on our car rides and pride myself on figuring out 95% of what comes out of your mouth. Your newest phrase of, "Mama - what you doin in der?" brings an instant smile to my face.

As you approached 2, the mischievous twinkle in your eye grew even brighter and you like to stand your ground, particularly when I'm involved. My goal between 2 to 3 is to channel your passion into constructive activities - let's see how that goes. I always want you to stand up for what you believe in and to challenge those around you.

I love your questions (oh, the never-ending questions) and the science nerd in me can't help but be excited about the more complicated questions to come. When I see the light bulb go off in your head, it is thrilling. Quite literally, as I was writing this, I stopped to go up to your room to quiet you for a nap. "Why?" you asked. "Why nap, Mommy?" Oh, dear ...

You are a loving, cuddly, affectionate girl and find it endlessly entertaining that Daddy gives both Ellen AND Mommy kisses in the morning. You ask us to sit right next to you on the couch to read or watch a show, and I try to take advantage of every second, knowing full well that the day will come when you want to sit as far away from us as possible.

Our bedtime routine is very special and I feel lucky that your Dad and I both participate in bedtime most nights. You like to call the shots, and most nights we rock a bit before bed, either "just rock", or "rock and skatch-da-back". You lie down in bed and demand, "SKATCH-DA-BACK MOMMY!" and usually add, "in minutes". I giggle softly and generally comply with your demands, you lucky girl.

You have a delightful personality and often capture the eye of those around you. Yes, you have your moments of fake tantrums and flailing on the floor in public, but more often you enjoy parroting silly phrases that your Dad taught you, or shaking your booty to the music, or laughing out loud at the simplest of things.

We love you. We are proud of you. We are proud to be your parents. You have changed our life, from top to bottom, in the best possible way.

Happiest Birthday to you, darling girl.

Love, Mama

Anticipatory Guidance

2010-12-01T07:29:00.000-06:00

In the paid job that I do 3 days a week (otherwise known as Keeping My Sanity), the concept of "anticipatory guidance" is something we use quite a bit. Basically, helping families think and talk through what they might expect in the near and far future as related to the health of their loved ones.

I have modified this for use at home, too.

Girly is quite verbal for her age and I've learned that she understands far more than I might have thought, and picks up on random pieces of conversations and pulls remote bits of information from her memory bank at the strangest of times. I think she has reached the developmental point where she understands more "If-Then" concepts, and has a basic understanding of time (yesterday / today / tomorrow). If we have something on the calendar that is a little out of our normal routine, I try to talk with her about it in advance to hopefully ease the transition.

So ... cue her first haircut!

I know first haircuts can be quite the tantrum-fest and, since we waited almost 2 years, I wasn't sure if it would be better or worse than average. I looked on YouTube for "sesame street + haircut" and found an old clip of Cookie Monster singing a song about haircuts. It is totally out of the 80's, and not that good honestly, but she asked to watch it over and over. We talked a lot about what happens when you get your haircut: special cape, spray bottle, comb, scissors ... all the while encouraging nice and sweet behavior, of course!

I think there are Sesame Street videos on an infinite number of topics. Or, if screen time isn't your thing, there are certainly books that address a lot of the same things, you just have to be organized enough to get to the bookstore, which I clearly am not.

The holidays are a great time for this, too. It is really fun to watch Girly get into the idea of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, though it is so hard to explain why they only last one day!

Serving size

2010-11-29T07:20:00.001-06:00

I've been meaning to post this for awhile now - something I found pretty interesting from our last Parents As Teachers meeting ....

A serving is a level tablespoon for each year of your child's age.

Isn't this less than what you thought? So, for my 2-year-old, just 2 Tbs or 1/8 cup is a serving of whatever she is having.

Here are the guidelines for daily servings:
3 servings protein
4 servings bread / cereal
4 servings fruit / vegetable / both
4 servings milk /dairy

So, if your child subsisted on pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce with an occasional green bean, for the last 4 days like mine did - don't feel so bad!

Addicted

2010-11-19T07:30:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things I heard this year on NPR was about the power of email. My behavior analyst friend could describe it better, but remember your high school or college psychology class and the discussion about the power of intermittent reinforcement? Email is just that very thing ... the 7th, or 83rd, or 1,217th time you check your email you get that really great email from an old friend, while the rest of it is mostly crap. You keep coming back, though, hoping for that really great one again. (Same thing with blogs, I suppose, which explains why I choose to rot my brain with the internets rather than on Real Housewives of Big Cities).

So, it seems that someone else had the same idea about parenting. Exactly! I was with a group of high school girlfriends the other night and 2/3rds of us were lamenting the challenges of parenthood. One of the child-less among us was appalled and asked why we did such a thing? While it is a fair question I ask myself from time to time, I explained that when you laugh harder with your child than you have in weeks, even in the midst of a day full of battles, it just keeps you coming back for more.

See what you think ...

Slate's article: Parents Are Junkies (If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we are addicted).

Jinx

2010-11-16T07:30:00.000-06:00

Shhh ... don't tell Girly I'm telling you this ...

It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).

Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.

The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.

I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.

Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....

"Strong willed" is saying it nicely

2010-11-12T07:30:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, another tidbit from that blocks class I mentioned.

Girly was a nightmare.

Not a nightmare of the Freddy Krueger variety, but certainly a nightmare on her spectrum of "sweetest/nicest to oh-my-god-who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-kid."

I picked her up from school, came prepared with snacks, and thought she would really enjoy something different. There were about 20 kids between 8 months and 3 years and she was, by far, the most disruptive in the room. Granted, a room full of 20 small tykes and lots of blocks will already be disrupted, but she didn't do anything to help the situation. All of the teachers and parents were understanding of course, but I was caught off-guard by her behavior and challenged to respond appropriately in the moment. We got our first "wow, she is busy" comment, and not really in a nice way. We left 25 minutes into the 90 minute class.

What happened to my sweet girl who sat quietly and observed? Oh yeah, TWO happened.

I know this is par for the course (it is, right?), but I will say that it isn't much fun.

It also taught me an important lesson ... this event was for Girly and I thought she would have fun. She didn't and made that abundantly clear to me. I need to be flexible enough to change plans when the situation isn't working for us. From a Love and Logic perspective, I also feel that if I can learn to respond - calmly - in the moment, and validate Girly's feelings, she will eventually act out less. And, in those situations where we can't be flexible, she will eventually be more willing to comply because she knows that I listen to what she is telling me.

I think that's how it might work, anyway - but what do I know? Wishful thinking, I tell you ...

I'm sold

2010-11-10T07:30:00.000-06:00

Are you reading Ain't No Mom Jeans? I've posted about them before, but just in case ... you really should head over there now.

It's not that I care so much about what I look like - my style (style? do I have a style?) is simple, affordable and comfortable. I am far from the trendiest person on the block. I wear mostly plain colored clothes and few patterns (as my good friend says, curly hair is kind of enough pattern on its own!). Finally, at age 32, I am getting better at realizing that I should never buy turtlenecks or crewneck shirts. The issue I have is that the post-pregnancy body is harder to dress, at least for me. Do you have that squishy stuff around your waist that looks bad under fitted shirts? Blech.

So, this brings me to my new style secret - wear a belt. Around your waist. Lots of the time. I had seen this accessory all over the place, and was slow to adopt it, and then Ain't No Mom Jeans cemented it for me.

A fitted shirt with a long boyfriend sweater looks kind of shlumpy on me. But - add a skinny belt around the sweater? Defines the waist just enough, while said sweater still hides the squishy stuff.

A peasant shirt with jeans? Thanks, but having a friends' father ask when the baby was due - months before I got pregnant - was one time too many for me. The belt preserves the best aspect of the flowy shirt (camouflage!) while still showing that you have a waist.

I am really liking the skinny belts from J. Crew this fall - they have great colors and metallics and you can usually find some on sale. I am terrible about accessorizing with jewelry, so a silver belt does double duty for me. I wish I could say that Target had belts that were just as cute, but it sadly isn't true.

Give it a shot - your waist will thank you!

A-ha moment!

2010-11-08T07:30:00.000-06:00

Our Parents as Teachers educator came for our 22-month visit and she gave us a flier on an upcoming class about block-building. She mentioned that Americans focus primarily on reading and music skills in early childhood, while many Asians focus primarily on math and science skills in early childhood. I had never heard anyone phrase it this way, but it was a total light bulb moment for me!

Think about it ... what activities are aimed at young children? Music classes and reading time at the library. We have gajillions of books and Girly loves reading them, which I obviously encourage. She loves playing with musical instruments and listening to music. I think these are important skills, but I wish I could say that I put an equal emphasis on math and science skills, but I don't and I bet you don't either.

Playing with blocks is a good way to build understanding of math and science concepts - they say it helps develop numeracy (the understanding of numbers in everyday life), just like literacy is the understanding of letters and words. You probably already use a lot of math and science words in your normal play with your kiddo, but I've never focused on them.

Math words: long, tall, narrow, order, top, square, less, more, curve, add, count, outside, triangle, lines, patterns, big, little, rectangle ...

Science words: rough, smooth, smallest, heavy, whole, bigger, after, first, next, balance, light, weight, gravity, system ....

Don't underestimate your child's ability to learn these concepts!