Been awhile ...

Long time, no blog!

Hope all of you survived the holidays. Well, in fact, I hope you did more than survive - ate, drank, laughed, enjoyed, relaxed - but I will settle for survived. Two-fourths of our household (the adult half, thanksverymuch) was stricken by a GI bug and we limped through the end of December and into the New Year. I will say, however, that an unplanned (and not wholly enjoyable) lack of eating for 5 days sure kicks off the 2014 weight loss plan. And, I didn't have a drop of alcohol on New Year's Eve and finally woke up hungry and clear-headed. If that isn't the best way to start fresh, then I don't know what is.

This will be a notation of my random thought patterns, as most things are these days.

A few Christmas notes: we have joined the land of American Girl Doll. It's an OK place to be, but I'm still reserving final judgement. Interestingly, while Ellen was THRILLED to get Saige from Santa, she doesn't play with her much. I don't think she knows HOW, which sounds weird, but I think is true. Dolls really aren't my thing, so I don't quite get it either. Also, Santa just brought Saige and nothing else, so again, she didn't know what to do with her. Thankfully our wiser family members gifted Ellen a doll bed and some gift certificates for accessorizing, but I think some doll playdates are in our future. Santa also brought a DVD set of 'Where On Earth Is Carmen San Diego?' that has been a big hit, along with a really cool Atlas from Grammy. Ellen's stocking had a wireless mouse and mouse pad so she could start learning how to use a mouse on my laptop as we don't have a standard desk top computer at our house. I'm glad someone mentioned it because it is a skill she will need in school and she is having great fun with it. Santa brought Georgia a new table, a little bigger than our old one, with 4 chairs for dining with friends. He was even more clever and got one that was a gray-brown color that wouldn't show every pencil and crayon mark. They were both gifted many more great things - maybe I will get my act together and post about some of them.

On occasion I will wake up during the night and not be able to fall back asleep and then my mom-xiety sneaks in. I don't really have generalized anxiety, but I think all moms (parents) have those things they worry about at the most random times. Recently, it was fire safety and escaping our home. The next morning I marched Ellen around the house and made sure she knew how to open all of the doors and the garage door and how to use the cordless phone to dial 911. I feel (mildly) better.

A few things I've saved to share:
Two posts from Girl's Gone Child on teaching your kids about strangers, something I still struggle to do well. The Mother Co and Staying Safe Without Fear and Talking To Strangers.

A(nother) article on car seat safety from the New York Times: Strapped In But Still At Risk. Georgia finally moved up from her bucket to a convertible, rear-facing, seat and Ellen is still in a 5-point harness, but is probably at the weight limit for kid + seat under the new LATCH guidelines, so I think we need to re-install her seat with the belt. Ugh.

And just something interesting about Music Education: Is Music the Key to Success?

I am finally weaning Georgia now at 14 months. We are leaving town at the end of the month and it just needs to happen. She has only been nursing in the morning and before bed for months now and I haven't pumped in many months, so it is just so easy. She enjoys it - smiles and claps her hands before she nurses! - and I honestly could just keep going. It's sad as she is my last, but all good things come to an end. She didn't really bat an eye when I dropped the before-bed feeding - we just replaced it with extra books and cuddles and teethbrushing. We'll see how the morning goes ... I'm sure it will bother me more than her.

And, on a related note, I feel very fortunate that weight loss has not been an issue after having Georgia. I actually weigh less now than at any point since I had Ellen. I attribute this some to nursing, mostly to my near-constant activity level on my 4 days at home, and the fact that we never eat out and I take my lunch to work to save money. Also, I never ate tons of fast food, but I almost never do now because there isn't time or I have the kids with me. I do need to replace the calorie burn from nursing, though, and am trying to wrap my brain around some form of exercise. I am not athletic and have never formally exercised. I know I need to do it for my health, as well as to firm up some post-baby areas. I'm thinking one of these 7-minute Apps is a good place to start and Ellen might even join me!

Purge

My Inbox is swallowing me alive. I used to pride myself on having no more emails in my Inbox than I could see on one screen. In the last few weeks, however, it has gotten completely out of control for reasons that are still unclear. I've been filing things away in my "blog to do" folder for that elusive day when I have time to blog. So, I'm just going to purge and link to a lot of things here that you may or may not find interesting. Or may or may not have time to read (I'm voting on "may not" - you won't hurt my feelings). Is it bad that cleaning out my Inbox feels like cleaning up my  house?

So, some reading for your relaxing Labor Day weekend plans at the pool. Wait ... are you doing that? Take me along.

What Should a 4-Year-Old Know: I think this is kind of viral on the Facebook, but was timely for me as I'm trying to restrain myself from worrying about Kindergarten ONE YEAR AWAY. (And also, a few concrete guidelines that help reign in my craziness).

Why I Am The Perfect Mother. God bless "average".

Child Safety: Stranger Danger Warning Needs Updating - I know I've posted about this before, but it is a conversation I need to keep having with Ellen. I like the ideas about teaching safety as a value, just like kindness and honesty and whatever else. Also, adding "Did anything happen today to make you feel uncomfortable?" to your standard questions about the day. And teaching about acceptable strangers.

"If my son wanted to dance, I would kill myself" - can't remember where I came across this, but nice story about celebrating the interests of your children.

Similarly, How Do You Teach The Beauty of Different - good tips.

The Last Time - also went kind of viral, but sweet and tear-inducing. I find myself compulsively documenting Georgia's sweet quirks these days, knowing that in the midst of all these developmental milestones, so many things will fall by the wayside.

How To Teach Kids To Say Sorry - We haven't really used "time out" for Ellen in years. On rare occasion when she is out of control, I do ask her to sit in a chair and calm down before coming back to talk with me. Most of the time, though, we talk things through and I explain why I am upset or frustrated with her behavior and I ask her how she could make a better choice next time. It works pretty well for us. The biggest AHA! I had lately, though, is that for your children to really learn the importance of apologizing, you need to apologize to them when appropriate. Not long ago, I lost my temper with Ellen during crazy-after-work-dinner-hour. I raised my voice and I don't think she expected it and she sulked away to the couch and cried quietly. I felt, in a word, terrible. I sat down for a snuggle and really apologized to her and explained why I had acted that way. Made us both feel better.

My Daughter Went Away to Camp and Changed - I've been very nostalgic for my days at Summer Camp lately. This was a nice article about the importance of activities that belong solely to your children and the happiness that comes with that freedom.

We Need To Talk About Race and How Do You Talk To Kids About Race? - I think a lot of good points here. This is something I fumble through with Ellen in our very homogeneous community. I mostly remember a part of the Nurture Shock book that  talks about the "being blind to color" approach and how it doesn't really work. You need to talk with your children about race and not let them draw their own conclusions. Another area in which I feel ill-equipped to be raising a responsible human being, but I will try my hardest.

Raising Safe Swimmers and Here Comes the Sunscreen (gallery of pics of parents putting sunscreen on kids). Summer's over? How? When?

Well, if you have a kid who started back to school, check this out: Crayola Starts a new Recycling Program

This Morning I Yelled - I've linked to Dash and Bella before, good recipes, great writing

 Great Artist Mom - fun blog by a gal who developed an art program for elementary students. She has good ideas for encouraging artistic behavior, and practical tips on supplies, and nice videos here and there on drawing. A little advanced for Ellen, but she likes to watch me and then color in my drawings. One big take away that we use: "You are the artist of your own paper". I'm trying to get Ellen to not be such a perfectionist with her art ... wonder where she gets that?

Three Huge Mistakes We Make in Leading Kids - Again, I see this so many places, the importance of specific praise for children, not just platitudes.

A reminder to Get In The Picture With Your Kids! We just had our latest round of family pics with our favorite photographer. I wanted to document Georgia as she has changed so much from December, but also to have pictures of me with the girls. I spend most of my days with them, yet have little documentation of that.

I bet you do this anyway - narrate your day to your baby - but this reinforces the importance! The Power of Talking to Your Baby.

Nice series on Slate: How Babies Work - lots of interesting articles on babies, American vs. other, and some science behind infant development and such.

Summer schedule?

Guess I'm taking a not-planned, but clearly obvious break from this here blog. I find that the recovery from all things involving two small children takes, like, weeks. I wouldn't say we've been all that busy, but we were out of town for a long weekend, followed by a week of swimming lessons every evening, followed by a sick baby and, well, I know you get it. Harried is an understatement.

A couple of updates:

One, Ellen's bedtime had degenerated into a mess. Georgia is so easy these days, but Ellen's bedtime routine just required so.much.energy from both Erik and me at the time of day it was hardest to muster. So - new plan. We have two "tokens" (random pieces of wood I dug out of her treasure box and labeled 1 and 2). We do the regular brush teeth / potty / PJs / book / bed and try to move it along. She has 2 tokens to start the night. She can leave her room for "free" to potty as long as she gets back in bed by herself. If she needs to talk to me or Erik she can spend a token to do so, but only has 2 passes. If she keeps her tokens, though, in the morning she gets 1 or 2 stars on her ice cream chart. (I drew a picture of ice cream and filled it with little circles where the stars go). When her chart is full, ICE CREAM! I do randomly give her a star during the day if she does something especially good without prompting, but it's mostly a bedtime thing. I've also taken away stars for especially bad behavior. One time I was going to take away a star and forgot and I told her later she was lucky. "Well, too late now, Mom. HA HA!!" So, I then I erased one for sass. It has actually worked pretty well - we will see for how long. She did ask Erik to come up and scratch her back the other night - "It was worth a token, Dad."

Georgia was sicky, sick this week - same usual respiratory crap. Pro tip for the future: if you own a nebulizer machine and have the meds at home, take it all with you to the doctor's office visit. You can use all your own stuff and save yourself the $$ of getting it there. DUH. I'm sure we will be back ...

And, some stuff I've come across:
Good Guard, Bad Guard - how to know if your lifeguard is doing a good job. Ellen took swimming lessons for a full week and made great progress, but is still not swimming. She is almost LESS safe in the water because she feels confidant, but doesn't yet understand about quickly going into deep water and such. I was watching her and within seconds she took a few steps into the deeper end and was underwater and panicking and my friend had to jump in and pull her out. Not good times.

Similar to the emergency link last time, tips on packing a Go Bag. We haven't done this and, truthfully, I kind of glaze over when I think about it because it seems so monumental. I have a goal of becoming much more paper-less with our important things, which fits nicely with this. A high school acquaintance recently had a bad house fire, which makes all of this feel more important. And, makes me feel that Ellen really is old enough to start talking about this stuff. Again, glazing over ...

Some of my best friends are germs - really interesting article in the New York Times about the microbiome. Well, interesting for you science-y folk. Most fascinating part to me? There are compounds in breastmilk that babies can't digest, but they are specifically intended to nourish good bacteria in the baby's gut. Amazing.

Why Women Aren't Crazy - interesting article, with a take-away message of using caution in how you address your children, girls in particular. I find myself often telling Ellen - "you are so dramatic!" and over time, I think it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm trying to be more aware of what I say to her or how I describe her actions.

Finally, there was a nice article in Parents magazine this month about encouraging kindness in your children - teaching it as a skill, just as you would responsibility and independence and such. For those of you who have time to read, it lists two interesting-sounding books: Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents, and Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. It basically talks about listening to your kids - is their complaint about a tummy ache or hurt toe masking their desire for an extra snuggle or some special attention? Also, cultivating a culture of cooperation - helping your kids pick-up. Essentially, if there is a situation where you would normally like some help for yourself, do the same for your children. I must say that I'm probably not good at this - it would be kinder of me to offer to help Ellen at times, and then hope my example encouraged her to do the same for others. And, being kind to yourself - taking time to do nice things for yourself is part of taking care of your family.

Summer safety

I feel like every time it gets warm I put something on here about water and sun safety. So, consider me a broken record and settle in for a similar read. I am hyper about water safety - it is probably one of my most anxious-making kid tasks. We are FINALLY getting some real swim lessons this summer and I have high hopes. I also have terrible guilt about the sun exposure I had myself as a child / teen - how could I have been so stupid? By the time you are old enough to realize the error of your ways, TOO LATE. So - trying to start my girls off on the right foot.

The New York Times - The New Rules for Sunscreen

And, this article has been everywhere,  but it's a good one, so just in case: Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning

And, while we're at it, from Rookie Moms - Safety Tips I Learned From My Village.  Do you have a family disaster plan? A fire escape plan? Do you practice? These are other things that keep me up at night.

Also, sort of related, a random tip to get in the habit of smelling your child's liquid medicine when you pick it up from the pharmacy. Especially if it's something given for a long period of time, like Georgia's Zantac. It is flavored with a peppermint flavor and smells kind of minty / medicine-y, but she really hasn't made any faces about it since she was bitty. She gets it twice a day and it is no issue now. Well, one day recently she flat out REFUSED to take it. Like, after 5 attempts - no go. I had recently refilled the bottle, so I smelled it and it smelled horrible - like minty, rotten food. I called the pharmacy to make sure it wasn't expired or anything and it wasn't, but they checked the bottle and agreed something was "off". They replaced it with a different brand and there hasn't been an issue since. So strange and NEVER would have occurred to me.

At it again ...

I have little of consequence to report; just been the typical routine around here. I'm the sick one this time and - newsflash - your kids are happy to bring home germs AND they don't give two shits that you are sick. I'm wearing my OLD glasses this weekend because I have pinkeye and Georgia can't seem to figure out who I am. Ellen, on the other hand, thinks I look like a newscaster.

I moved Georgia to a four schedule, which is really so great. I remember dreaming of this when I was up so frequently with her during the night when she was a newborn. Following the trend, I worried about it much less this go round ... just casually moved her evening feedings closer together and added some more milk to her school bottles, then just dropped a feeding and she was fine. No biggie. I think she is seriously the most flexible child of all times. I kept pumping before I went to bed to maintain a 5th "feeding", but wasn't getting much milk for the effort. I had such a crazy milk supply with Ellen that my benchmark is skewed and I feel like I don't have enough, yet I'm still putting a little milk in the freezer at the end of each week. I decided to stop with the pumping on most nights and we'll see how it goes.

Her napping is generally quite good. Not at school, mind you, but her Thursdays and Fridays are usually great when she is home. Then Saturdays and Sundays are a little less predictable because she is well-rested, then the process starts all over. The new 4-hour schedule has messed with our dinnertime a bit, as she is zombie-like after school and requires a lot of attention right when we need to get dinner on the table. When Ellen was a baby, I would just put her down and then Erik and I would eat later. Now, we need to feed Ellen and then start the bedtime charade, so there is no time to eat later. Oh well - just another transition. When she is really sitting up and eating some finger foods in a few months, I think we'll be good.

Speaking of finger foods - I'm flying with Georgia next week solo on a trip to visit my girlfriends. I've flown with Ellen solo, but always had food and toys to keep her entertained. Not this time ... send your happy-flying-baby vibes this way, s'il vous plait.

And, per usual, a few more things I've been reading. Do you like this and/or find it interesting?
The Ringya App via Cool Mom Tech - organize groups of school/sports contacts easily
Helicopter Parents are Everywhere, Except Where They're Needed Most - an interesting column on child and car seat safety in response to a viral kid video
A good response to the Victoria's Secret tween-undie scandal via Mom101 -  and, can I say, SOOO not looking forward to the teenage girl years
Why Suckable Fruit Sucks - interesting commentary on a generation of children who eat much of their food from pouches
Related, from Dinner: A Love Story - How to talk to your kids about healthy eating -  I like the "sometimes food" description
And another from them, Dinner: A Love Story - 100 Rules of Dinner

And, finally, I liked this column by Erin Loechner on being a first time mom and creating a baby registry. I have a similar feeling when I read back through early entries on this blog looking to see how I did things the first time. I hope it didn't come across as preachy and know-it-all, but maybe it did. It seems that way to me, at least, a lot of the time. I just think there is something about being a first-time parent and trying to figure it all out (as if it's even realistic to think you can) and for me it was  helpful to process things by writing. If anyone else benefited, even better. So ... thanks for "listening" back then. And still.

Random thoughts

It's amazing what you come across at 2:47am while you're perusing all of the internet on your phone. 



The Car Seat Lady explains the new American Academy of Pediatrics Car Seat Recommendations

Why I don't bake from scratch (but think it's awesome if you do)

We finally got all the Christmas decorations up. And by "we" I mean me and my sister who I guilted into helping me. It was on my to-do list for 5 days and I just finally felt that it was now or never and I put up the easy stuff and called it good. I even contemplated doing something different with the Christmas tree - something easy and simple - but I couldn't get to the store or spend any time on a DIY project, so the standard stuff had to suffice. It's fine. It's good enough (see article above).

As much as I love Pinterest and wasting my brain cells reading blogs, I must say that this season I have felt like maybe all of this stuff is a double edged sword. I like the inspiration, but dislike the standard it sets. I like doing crafty and creative things, but don't like feeling like my thoughts aren't original anymore. I like celebrating, but don't like the guilt that seeps in when the birthday party for a small child isn't "perfect" or your Christmas decorations are the same you've had for forever. And The Elf? Don't even get me started ... perhaps I would be happier with Nicholas if I didn't have a newborn to contend with.

I'm trying my hardest to slow down and enjoy this season with Ellen, but the days are just merging together. There has been an endless parade of gifts for her entering our house - big sister gifts, birthday gifts, and Christmas is starting to trickle in. Every one of them thoughtful and enjoyed, but a 4-year-old faced with weekly gifts becomes a bit greedy. I suppose we all would if we had gifts to open every week.

I'm just trying to pick my battles, trying to have patience when it's in short supply, and trying to make memories of our Christmas this year. Not gonna lie, though ... January 2nd is looking really good.

A few things ...

Random thoughts, as that is my life at the moment ...

1. Do you use the child safety lock on your back car doors? Never occurred to me to set it, until this week when Ellen reached out and opened the door while we were driving. First of all, I didn't think her arms were long enough to open it. Second of all, my car requires you to pull the handle twice in the back seat to get the door to open after it auto locks while moving. Third of all - YIKES. Fortunately we were only driving slowly in our neighborhood, but if we had been on the highway or something ... don't want to think about it. I yelled at her and I think she was scared. I'm sure she was just curious about what the handle was for and I hope I have nipped that curiosity.

2. For those of you with tons of time for reading today (ha - NO ONE raises their hand), here is a long article (several parts, actually) from Slate on the 40th Anniversary of Free To Be You and Me.  My memory is quite terrible, but I'm pretty certain we had this album and I listened to it all the time when I was little. I even think it was played at a birthday party of mine or some sort of play date? This would have been before age 7, so is impressive coming out of my cobweb-y brain. See? My parents were subversive even then. :)

3. I've been doing laundry like a fool and have no idea how we accumulated so many burp cloths and blankets. Just wanted to share.

4. Speaking of subversive, I voted by early ballot last week since I'll be a little tied up come election day. You all have it on your calendar to vote, RIGHT? It's so, so important. Read up and educate yourselves on the candidates. Pay even closer attention to you local candidates and the "smaller" offices, like school board officials. These are the choices that can impact your life and that of your children the most. And, take your kids with you to vote - teach them that it's important.

5. If you put enough food in your freezer and wash enough tiny socks that pretty much means you're  ready to have a newborn in your house, right? Every part of me is swollen and my hands are tingling from carpal tunnel. I hope Baby Sister holds out for her c-section date, and I'm also hoping that all of this swelling / painful joints magically disappears the moment she arrives. I'm pretty sure that's how it works, anyway.

We'll see what the next two weeks hold ... I could be a mother of TWO next time you hear from me. Send help.

Movin' on up

I think I did mention our quest for the new car seat on here ... just coming back with an update.

Prompted by my super duper friend, The Car Seat Lady, I was starting to get anxious about our seat maxing out at 40 pounds, plus the new LATCH rules that go into effect in 2014. This kind of thing drives me crazy ... I understand it takes time for car manufacturers to change their supplies and such, but basically it's like a news story that says, Hey! Your kid probably isn't safe in their car seat - that might get better in two years. Ugh.

Anywho, after much searching on Consumer Reports, polling of friends and reading reviews ad nauseum I decided to go with the Britax Marathon 70, which I now see was just retired on the Britax website. I swear, you just can't keep up with this game. When I did the side-by-side comparison about 6 weeks ago it was still on there (of course). The Britax Marathon 70-G3 appears to be the replacement and, as far as I can tell, the only difference is their Easy Buckle System. I've been jacking around with car seat buckles for years now and don't feel that it is a major issue for us. Also, for what it's worth, our old convertible seat (the Britax Diplomat), was also retired in favor of some newer version. We never had an issue with it and the seats are "good" for 6 years past their retirement date, so our kids will be out of them by then anyway.

We got a good price on the Marathon 70, not much more than the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1, which was highly rated on Consumer Reports and recommended lots of places. When it came down to it, I had Ellen sit in a floor sample of the Graco and it just didn't seem to "fit" her very well, especially for a seat that she could be in for a few more years. I like the feature of converting to a booster, but I figured that boosters aren't that expensive anyway, and we'll have a second kid to use this seat when it's time for Ellen to move on.

There are definitely Britax car seats that have more gadgets and safety features, at a much higher price, and at the end of the day I feel that some of it is just marketing. OF COURSE I would pay whatever it took to keep my kids safe in the car (I'm kind of a freak about car seat use), but it is hard to compare seats across different manufacturers and a lot of the side impact features aren't tested or rated on any kind of standard. Plus you have the variable of the safety features of your own car and it just gets too confusing. It isn't feasible for us to buy two new car seats every time they come up with a safety innovation, nor do I think it is feasible for most families.

I do subscribe to the "keep your kid in a 5-point harness as long as possible" philosophy. I think based on age alone Ellen could go to a high back booster pretty soon, and maybe even based on weight, but she is challenged with height, so that just isn't very safe. She doesn't complain, so for now it's fine.

Here is the link to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration on car seat stuff. And I came across this site on Pinterest and I think she has a good real-world description of car seat issues: Lucie's List - Real World Car Seat Installation Tips.

And, speaking of car seats, it's just about time to get our infant seat out and installed again. Yikes. There goes my back seat, along with a lot of other things (sleep, showering, free time .....)

Tricky people

I came across this in the wormhole that is Pinterest. I admittedly haven't really explored it, but it seemed like a good thing worth sharing.

I have had some of this same difficulty in explaining the concept of a "stranger" to Ellen. Same with "bad guy" (or "bad lady", I suppose). I think around age 3 they start to develop a concept of "bad guy" from movies and books, which is most certainly not what a "bad guy" in real life will look like.

Tricky People are the New Strangers

Caution, caution

I follow our little local police department on facebook and, fortunately, the posts are mostly of the "lock your cars" "bike stolen" "traffic work" variety rather than that other nasty stuff.

They did have a good tip the other day, I thought ....
If you take your kid(s), or especially a group of kids, to a busy event - circus, fair, etc - take a picture of them on your phone before you leave the house.

Should they get separated from you -**please, please, please never let this happen to me** - you have a current picture that shows exactly what they are wearing. It can be distributed quickly in an emergency.

(My two scariest "lost child" moments thus far have been 1. in the hardware store as Ellen wandered the aisles just fast enough that she was gone before I turned each corner, and 2. when she was watering with me in the back yard and again, wandered to the front and around the house fast enough that we were chasing each other, but couldn't see each other. Awful. Our rule is that she has to be able to see my eyes if we aren't holding hands.)

I love taking pictures with my iPhone and I bet a lot of us do it anyways, but I've never specifically thought to get a quick full body picture including Ellen's outfit.

Note to self ...

Safety patrol

I have a great friend who is a nurse. Actually, I have several great friends who are nurses - they are the best kind of friends to have. However, the first nurse friend is a real safety hound and a car seat expert. For real, certified and everything. She shared this with me today - MORE car seat changes.

Child Seat Requirements Change with 2014 Rule

Read it through, but the basic idea is that the LATCH system may not be adequate for children who are 30+ pounds and are in a car seat that is heavy. Great, just as I reach the point of feeling very comfortable with the LATCH system and not at all comfortable installing a seat with the seat belt.

Also, I just realized the other day that our convertible car seat max's out at 40 pounds. Ells is a compact 36 pounds these days and I have no way to predict when she'll reach 40, but it can't be that far away. So, yet another car seat purchase looming ... advice?

Finally, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Fourth of July holiday. We live in a place where home fireworks aren't allowed and it is so hot and dry it's probably a bad idea anyway. We are going to make Diet Coke Mentos bombs tonight with our little friend up the street - I think (hope) it will be just as entertaining for the 2-3 year old crowd.

I'm going to follow the directions at Pancakes and French Fries: How to Make Cola Bombs (The Easier Way).

Safety first

Interesting article on playground safety and not sliding down slides with your children. I swear I know someone this happened to, but can't recall the details ....

A Surprising Risk for Toddlers on Playground Slides

Laugh lines

Ok, Mamas ... let's have a chat about (gasp!) wrinkles.

BOOOOO.

I have to admit that most days I still think of myself as being in my 20's. Not that I look it, but it just doesn't seem possible that I'm in my 30's. How / when did that happen? I was out with a bunch of girlfriends a month or so ago, thinking we all looked pretty sassy with our lipstick on, and then realized we were probably viewed as "the old ladies" at the bar. All of my patients this week were referred for 'advanced maternal age' and they were all born the same year as me. I seriously did the math over and over and over again thinking there must have been some tragic mistake. Alas, no. I'm practically 40! (Well, not really, but someday.)

I don't care what people at a bar think about me, but I do care when I look in the mirror, before a cup of coffee and after a toddler meltdown, and see these ... well .... lines on my face.

I had a visit with a new dermatologist recently, just for an overall skin check. (I tell my patients to do it all the time and thought I should follow my own advice). I also squeezed in a few questions about anti-aging treatments. Her take on things was this:

- eye cream is just marketing. Use your normal face cream as long as the skin around your eyes isn't too sensitive. (She likes the Cerave products at the drugstore).
- SPF, SPF, SPF. Everyday, all the time. I have SPF in my moisturizer, which she said was fine, but I should put it all over my neck and chest, too. Hands are a bonus. SPF in your make-up doesn't do much because it's very little coverage.
- most people probably just need a cleanser and moisturizer. Use a toner if you like it, but it probably doesn't do much.
- I can't really remember what she said about exfoliation, but I think she was talking more about chemical exfoliation versus mechanical (like with an abrasive scrub or something)
- she said that for a product to really have anti-aging properties, it needs about 10% or more glycolic acid or vitamin C. You won't really find this in a drugstore product.
- Retin-A is also good and she said the Neutrogena products were pretty good for a drugstore-type product

So ... what's a girl to do?

I would like to find the magical combination of an inexpensive product that has anti-aging properties and doesn't have the parabens and phthalates that I try to avoid. So far, this eludes me.

I'm continuing to use the Arbonne products that I've been using for several years because they don't have most of those chemicals I try to avoid, and I know they don't make me break out. (Another part of the fear I have about trying a bunch of new things). I ordered this Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair cream with retinol and I have been using it every other night and think I actually notice a difference.

Beyond my initial visit, I haven't had time to devote much brain power to this search, but I like to check out new products at the Skin Deep Cosmetics Database.

Any suggestions? I'm all ears (?wrinkles?).