There were so many questions I had about how our life would change with child #2. Most of my friends with more than one kid would say that, yes, many things were more challenging, but also many things were more enjoyable because you had confidence in your parenting skills. I am finding that to be true, thankfully.
Not that we haven't had our struggles. We have, and continue to. (Example: up 4 times last night with a 4:45am feeding - ugh). In some ways, I also think parental confidence contributes to my frustration, mostly in the middle of the night. I'm anxious to get past this phase as I know the sweetness that is a child who sleeps for 11-12 hours. The first go round I didn't know any better!
I can read Georgia's cues better that I could with Ellen and I have the confidence to make more decisions on my own that seem right for our family rather than doing everything by the book. Our first week back to school/work was a crappy one due to a nasty viral illness, but before that I really thought Georgia was showing signs of dropping a feeding. I was generally waking her for all her feedings and she was starting to eat poorly at her last feeding because I think we were disrupting her sleep. Also, I wanted her to get in bed sooner so everyone else could go to sleep. Some of my books say that kids will start to go to 5 feedings around 13-14 weeks, though I don't think we did it with Ellen until like 18 weeks. Georgia's sickness derailed my plan in some ways, but also her appetite was poor and she was refusing to eat, thus dropping a feeding on her own. Instead of forcing the issue, I decided to go with it. The first couple of days were kind of rough and I emailed a friend for support to make sure I wasn't being crazy, but then it all just sorted itself out. I just kept telling myself - what is the WORST thing that could happen? Feeding her during the night? That's not so bad. (I did do that for 2 nights, then that was it). Also, if all else fails, you can revert to the old schedule. Her new schedule is much better for our school/work days, so I just made it work. There will come a time when our schedule as parents must revolve around the kid schedule, but now is not that time.
I've also been emailing with my cousin who is expecting her first child in the very near future. I generally walk a fine line between providing a lot of information about my experience and scaring the bejeezus out of people. I was telling her all about pumping, thus prompting me to look back at what I did with Ellen. I pumped WAY more with Ellen, mostly because I was afraid to stop for fear of a plummeting milk supply. I find that there just isn't a ton of info about how to fit pumping into your breastfeeding life if you are working full or part-time. I threw away tons and tons of milk with Ellen and still had like a 2 month supply in my freezer after I weaned her. I felt like I spent all of my time on "milk maintenance". This time, I clearly had the benefit of knowing that I would more than likely have a generous milk supply, so I've tried to do things to make sure I have adequate, but not excessive, milk for Georgia. With Ellen, I would feed her on one side and then pump - every morning for 9 months. I could have been sleeping!! I did this for awhile with Georgia, then just decided to feed her on both sides and I weaned off that morning pumping recently. Saves probably 10 minutes each morning, which is precious. Also, since I dropped a feeding, I only have to pump twice at work, another big time saver. I nurse her when she wakes up and pretty soon after we get home, then again before bed. She rarely refuses to eat on a side, but if she does I don't worry about it. With Ellen, I would have pumped. I've saved a lot of time and frustration ... and freezer space.
Showing posts with label schedules. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schedules. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2013
Friday, March 9, 2012
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Mission (not) accomplished
Earlier in the month, I posted about starting a new nap regime to match the program at school.
I would like to issue a retraction.
Our Girl is NOT ready for 1 nap, nor are her parents.
I pretty blindly jumped in to the one-nap routine - thought it would take a few days / weeks to get her used to the new plan. She; however, did not agree. Our first weekend was actually quite promising - by the 3rd day on the new schedule, she took one good long nap - equal to or longer than her previous 2 naps combined. We've been on a downhill slope since then, though.
Many days at school she would sleep only 30 or 45 minutes for the whole day. You can imagine how nice our evenings were. When she was home with me, it was almost impossible to keep her entertained from 6 am to noon by myself, and errands were out of the question because she would briefly fall asleep in the car and then refuse to nap in her crib.
I was pretty exasperated after two weeks of this, and expressed my concern to my super-mom friends. They asked why I didn't have her on different school and home schedules?
Why?
Well, because it never occurred to me!
I have read so much about schedules and how children thrive on consistency. I believe it whole-heartedly. I thought I was doing the best thing for her by keeping her on the same schedule all the time.
You know what is better for her? SLEEP. (And a happy mom).
In further discussions, I've found that many of my friends, whose kids are in all kinds of different daycare situations, have different school and home schedules. And beyond that, many kiddos kept 2 naps well past their first birthday.
So, back to the drawing board. We switched back to our 2 nap schedule on Friday and we were all happier. She took 2 good naps, went to bed on time and slept LATE all weekend. Guess we've (you've) solved the early waking problem, too!
Just confirms that sleep is a fickle bitch. When you think you've got it right, think again. Also, goes to show you that your friends often have a lot better perspective on a situation looking in from the outside - listen to them!
I would like to issue a retraction.
Our Girl is NOT ready for 1 nap, nor are her parents.
I pretty blindly jumped in to the one-nap routine - thought it would take a few days / weeks to get her used to the new plan. She; however, did not agree. Our first weekend was actually quite promising - by the 3rd day on the new schedule, she took one good long nap - equal to or longer than her previous 2 naps combined. We've been on a downhill slope since then, though.
Many days at school she would sleep only 30 or 45 minutes for the whole day. You can imagine how nice our evenings were. When she was home with me, it was almost impossible to keep her entertained from 6 am to noon by myself, and errands were out of the question because she would briefly fall asleep in the car and then refuse to nap in her crib.
I was pretty exasperated after two weeks of this, and expressed my concern to my super-mom friends. They asked why I didn't have her on different school and home schedules?
Why?
Well, because it never occurred to me!
I have read so much about schedules and how children thrive on consistency. I believe it whole-heartedly. I thought I was doing the best thing for her by keeping her on the same schedule all the time.
You know what is better for her? SLEEP. (And a happy mom).
In further discussions, I've found that many of my friends, whose kids are in all kinds of different daycare situations, have different school and home schedules. And beyond that, many kiddos kept 2 naps well past their first birthday.
So, back to the drawing board. We switched back to our 2 nap schedule on Friday and we were all happier. She took 2 good naps, went to bed on time and slept LATE all weekend. Guess we've (you've) solved the early waking problem, too!
Just confirms that sleep is a fickle bitch. When you think you've got it right, think again. Also, goes to show you that your friends often have a lot better perspective on a situation looking in from the outside - listen to them!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Bracing myself
A new nap regime starts today.
Not really by my choosing - more that she needs to be on a different schedule when she moves up to the Bears room at school. They worked with her the last two days, so I feel obligated to follow through.
In contrast to my prior obsessive planning, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one. A bit of denial, I think.
And a bit of perspective on the whole thing, I think, as we round the corner on a year of this parenting business. I will read, and tinker with our schedule, and perseverate some, but I now realize it just happens. It's part of the process. It's OK.
Not really by my choosing - more that she needs to be on a different schedule when she moves up to the Bears room at school. They worked with her the last two days, so I feel obligated to follow through.
In contrast to my prior obsessive planning, I am flying by the seat of my pants on this one. A bit of denial, I think.
And a bit of perspective on the whole thing, I think, as we round the corner on a year of this parenting business. I will read, and tinker with our schedule, and perseverate some, but I now realize it just happens. It's part of the process. It's OK.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Perfect Storm
Weaning + Development + ?Growth Spurt + Poor Naps = WHOA.
I'm finding 9 months to be a challenge. I think it is really the first glimpse into the rest of our lives - "constant vigilance" appears to be the theme. Those babies are full of trickery - just when you get past the sleep deprived stumbling and reach a place of relative calm, everything changes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously thrilled that she is exploring and moving as expected, but it does take some getting used to. We finally rearranged all the furniture to make things more Girly-friendly. I'm happier not to have a running dialogue of "No. No. Don't touch that. On your bottom please. No Ma'am. You'll hit your head. That's not for you. Please don't touch that. No."
The weaning is going well. Really, better than expected. I'm also feeling fewer pangs of sadness that breastfeeding is coming to an end, and more excitement that the baby acrobatics, nose-grabbing and hitting me in the face while nursing is coming to an end. She is showing me that she is ready. I am, too.
I set up this prolonged weaning schedule, which has been fine, but may need to be expedited. On the days that I've dropped a feeding, I've usually had to pump once just a little bit for relief, and then the next day has been OK without pumping, and by the third day everything seems normal. One factor that I hadn't considered is that my milk supply also seems to be lower for the remaining feedings. So, this coupled with the baby distraction and acrobatics, makes me really question whether Girly is eating enough.
Exhibit A: Our Gal is waking up early. Early. I think it really started before I was full-on weaning, but she is routinely up in the 4's or 5's, which is just not tolerable. It's not everyday, but more days than not. And, she is screaming and mad, not her happy normal self. This usually indicates hunger, and when I've fed her, she will often go back to sleep, but not always. So, I don't know if this is a growth spurt, or that she isn't getting enough milk, or a sinister combination of both. I do know that I want it to be fixed.
Exhibit B: Naps are sucky these days. My former excellent napper has been ruined by daycare, I think. While she has always napped poorly at school (at least 1-2 hours less than at home), it never affected her home napping schedule. Now, it has. She is too young to go to 1 nap, but some days only takes two 30 minute naps. Not enough for me or her. I really feel that her explosion of developmental milestones is playing a role here: when she used to wake early, she might lay there and talk to herself and fall back asleep. Now, it becomes sitting up and crawling around and general "get me out of here-ness". I'll ride out the storm and hope it passes soon.
I hadn't mentioned the biting before, but should. Yes, biting. She bit me while nursing about a month ago for the first time. YEOWCH! After I hollered out in pain, I gave her a firm "NO!" and smacked her arm. I sat her up and she cried big, fat crocodile tears. Then smiled and giggled. Stink-er! It has happened fewer than 5 times, none of which were pleasant. I watch her mouth really closely and can see when she is about to bite me and I pull her off. I think it is boredom on her part.
Again, not something I'll miss.
I'm finding 9 months to be a challenge. I think it is really the first glimpse into the rest of our lives - "constant vigilance" appears to be the theme. Those babies are full of trickery - just when you get past the sleep deprived stumbling and reach a place of relative calm, everything changes.
Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously thrilled that she is exploring and moving as expected, but it does take some getting used to. We finally rearranged all the furniture to make things more Girly-friendly. I'm happier not to have a running dialogue of "No. No. Don't touch that. On your bottom please. No Ma'am. You'll hit your head. That's not for you. Please don't touch that. No."
The weaning is going well. Really, better than expected. I'm also feeling fewer pangs of sadness that breastfeeding is coming to an end, and more excitement that the baby acrobatics, nose-grabbing and hitting me in the face while nursing is coming to an end. She is showing me that she is ready. I am, too.
I set up this prolonged weaning schedule, which has been fine, but may need to be expedited. On the days that I've dropped a feeding, I've usually had to pump once just a little bit for relief, and then the next day has been OK without pumping, and by the third day everything seems normal. One factor that I hadn't considered is that my milk supply also seems to be lower for the remaining feedings. So, this coupled with the baby distraction and acrobatics, makes me really question whether Girly is eating enough.
Exhibit A: Our Gal is waking up early. Early. I think it really started before I was full-on weaning, but she is routinely up in the 4's or 5's, which is just not tolerable. It's not everyday, but more days than not. And, she is screaming and mad, not her happy normal self. This usually indicates hunger, and when I've fed her, she will often go back to sleep, but not always. So, I don't know if this is a growth spurt, or that she isn't getting enough milk, or a sinister combination of both. I do know that I want it to be fixed.
Exhibit B: Naps are sucky these days. My former excellent napper has been ruined by daycare, I think. While she has always napped poorly at school (at least 1-2 hours less than at home), it never affected her home napping schedule. Now, it has. She is too young to go to 1 nap, but some days only takes two 30 minute naps. Not enough for me or her. I really feel that her explosion of developmental milestones is playing a role here: when she used to wake early, she might lay there and talk to herself and fall back asleep. Now, it becomes sitting up and crawling around and general "get me out of here-ness". I'll ride out the storm and hope it passes soon.
I hadn't mentioned the biting before, but should. Yes, biting. She bit me while nursing about a month ago for the first time. YEOWCH! After I hollered out in pain, I gave her a firm "NO!" and smacked her arm. I sat her up and she cried big, fat crocodile tears. Then smiled and giggled. Stink-er! It has happened fewer than 5 times, none of which were pleasant. I watch her mouth really closely and can see when she is about to bite me and I pull her off. I think it is boredom on her part.
Again, not something I'll miss.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Target Practice
Savor the simplicity.
Let me say it again - savor.the.simplicity.
The Huz and I were just talking about how exciting it is to introduce new foods to our Gal and how much we want her to love food and cooking. It is an important part of our lives and I hope it will be an important part of hers.
That being said, feeding her is a pain in my ass.
That may not be politically correct, but it is the way I feel. Until she really gets the hang of it, it is an exercise in futility. I know I need to expose her to food textures and tastes - she needs practice just like with any other new skill. Let's just say, though, that this must be some karmic reminder from the universe for me to work on my patience.
Plus, I felt so great about our transition to 4 feedings and now we are back to 7 - nursing 4 times and eating some sort of solids in the high chair 3 times. This is how often she ate when she first came home from the hospital. See what I mean?
It seems you have to hit the perfect sweet spot for her to be receptive to food: not too hungry and not too full. So, for now, we usually attempt solids about an hour after she nurses. So, yes, it is like she is eating all day long.
I know this is a small speed bump and we'll be past this transition before I know it. Just sayin' though ... savor the simplicity.
(And regarding the title - I mean target practice as in trying to get to her mouth, not that I'm shooting a gun. It isn't that bad.)
Let me say it again - savor.the.simplicity.
The Huz and I were just talking about how exciting it is to introduce new foods to our Gal and how much we want her to love food and cooking. It is an important part of our lives and I hope it will be an important part of hers.
That being said, feeding her is a pain in my ass.
That may not be politically correct, but it is the way I feel. Until she really gets the hang of it, it is an exercise in futility. I know I need to expose her to food textures and tastes - she needs practice just like with any other new skill. Let's just say, though, that this must be some karmic reminder from the universe for me to work on my patience.
Plus, I felt so great about our transition to 4 feedings and now we are back to 7 - nursing 4 times and eating some sort of solids in the high chair 3 times. This is how often she ate when she first came home from the hospital. See what I mean?
It seems you have to hit the perfect sweet spot for her to be receptive to food: not too hungry and not too full. So, for now, we usually attempt solids about an hour after she nurses. So, yes, it is like she is eating all day long.
I know this is a small speed bump and we'll be past this transition before I know it. Just sayin' though ... savor the simplicity.
(And regarding the title - I mean target practice as in trying to get to her mouth, not that I'm shooting a gun. It isn't that bad.)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Random Thoughts: 6 months
Moving into week 24 (5 1/2 months, not 6 - again, bad math!) ...
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
How much sleep does your child really need? Use these guidelines:
1 week old: 16.5 total hours, including 4 naps
1 month: 15.5 total hours, including 3 naps
3 months: 15 total hours, including 3 naps
6 months: 14.25 total hours, including 2 naps
9 months: 14 total hours, including 2 naps
1 year: 13.75 total hours, including 2 naps
18 months: 13.5 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 2: 13 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 3: 12 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 4: 11.5 total hours, with no naps
Ages 5 to 9: 10-11 total hours, with no naps
Ages 10 to 15: 9-10 total hours, with no naps
Source: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster)by Richard Ferber, MD
I've been thinking quite a bit about our morning wake time of 6:00am. I picked that time WAY back when we were first implementing sleep training. I thought that was the time we would need when I went back to work. It works fine for us, but 6:00am is pretty early on those days at home and weekends. (Believe me, as a former night owl, it is shocking to me that 7:00am sounds like heaven!). My point is this: Some kids are probably just early risers and we may have one of those. It is all we can do to hold her off to 6:00am, but she is still sleeping at least 11 hours, so we can't complain. If I could do it over, I might have thought more creatively about how we could have gotten out of the house with a later wake time. I don't think there is any going back at this point!Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Carpe Diem
It's really more like "Seize the opportunity", but I don't know Latin.
I know I've spent a ridiculous amount of time talking about our Gal's schedule. She's on it. She's off it. We're changing it. Blah, blah, blah.
I did something totally out of character this week and just went with it.
I was planning to move to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. My smart friend told me to just do it already - rip that band-aid off! But, nooo, how could I do that? In the middle of the week? I had a plan, you know.
Best laid plans ...
We were a little off schedule yesterday: Girly slept in (till 6:30, SOO not my prior definition of sleeping in). And then she took a great nap and I didn't want to wake her just yet. And then she took another great nap! And before I knew it, she was almost on the new schedule. I decided to just go with it - see if I could hold her off until 6:00 to eat and go to bed.
So many variables, you know! Eating later, only 4 feedings, 7oz instead of 6oz, earliest bedtime yet. Yikes! It is enough to push an OCD-mother over the edge. I perseverated about what to do when she woke up early because she was hungry.
You know what? IT WAS FINE. She even slept longer than ever before and was a perfectly delightful girl this morning. Instead of coming home with a color-coded potential new schedule from her daycare teacher, I got a glowing phone call about how well she did today.
I learned that we often underestimate our children. Given the opportunity, they will usually rise to the challenge!
(I also learned that Mr. Medela and I are relaxing our relationship. Feeding/pumping 4 times a day is SUPER).
I know I've spent a ridiculous amount of time talking about our Gal's schedule. She's on it. She's off it. We're changing it. Blah, blah, blah.
I did something totally out of character this week and just went with it.
I was planning to move to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. My smart friend told me to just do it already - rip that band-aid off! But, nooo, how could I do that? In the middle of the week? I had a plan, you know.
Best laid plans ...
We were a little off schedule yesterday: Girly slept in (till 6:30, SOO not my prior definition of sleeping in). And then she took a great nap and I didn't want to wake her just yet. And then she took another great nap! And before I knew it, she was almost on the new schedule. I decided to just go with it - see if I could hold her off until 6:00 to eat and go to bed.
So many variables, you know! Eating later, only 4 feedings, 7oz instead of 6oz, earliest bedtime yet. Yikes! It is enough to push an OCD-mother over the edge. I perseverated about what to do when she woke up early because she was hungry.
You know what? IT WAS FINE. She even slept longer than ever before and was a perfectly delightful girl this morning. Instead of coming home with a color-coded potential new schedule from her daycare teacher, I got a glowing phone call about how well she did today.
I learned that we often underestimate our children. Given the opportunity, they will usually rise to the challenge!
(I also learned that Mr. Medela and I are relaxing our relationship. Feeding/pumping 4 times a day is SUPER).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hi, My Name is Molly and I'm an Addict
Addicted to THE LOG, that is.
It is like a security blanket. Or an accessory brain. Or crack.
I confess that I have an embarrassing number of sheets of paper detailing the Girl's every feeding, diaper and amount of sleep for a ridiculously long time.
It was critical to keep track of all of this for the first few days, weeks even, but months? I just keep doing it and I can't stop! I see those sideways glances from my husband, like "Still? You're doing it still?" He just chalks it up to a "mom thing" and avoids the conversation.
I'll blame the lactation consultant at the hospital. They sent me home with the form and innocently told me to keep track of her feedings. That piece of paper should have a disclaimer on the top: "Warning! Highly addictive!"
Some background may be helpful here ... I am the kind of person who likes to make lists just so I can cross things off. I re-copy grocery lists so they are easy to read and organized. I copy the same appointments into no less than 4 calendars just in case. Say it with me ... A-N-A-L! Give me a form to fill out and a good ink pen and I am a happy girl. You can imagine my delight at finding a form that needed to be filled out so many times a day!
It is kind of cute to look back at all of the sheets of paper. (Yes, I've kept them. I'm telling you - addicted.) The first day home from the hospital, the sheet was perfect. Perfect handwriting. Each notation in it's own slot. Military time! Within about 37 hours you can see that everything is just scribbled wherever it fits and military time is quite challenging to keep track of with no sleep, so forget that.
Initially I truly found it helpful to keep track of how long she fed and how much sleep we were getting and when I took my pain meds. Your doctor will ask about wet and dirty diapers and it is helpful to have a record. Fortunately, our Girl never had trouble growing, but it would be helpful for that, as well. (Also, it is helpful to have the phone number to your lactation consultant at the top of the sheet so you don't have to dig around trying to find it when you need to call them. And, call early in the morning and leave a message and they will often call you back before they start rounds for the day.)
I just kept going, though. It allowed me to put a tiny part of my brain on paper so I didn't have to remember, "Left or Right?" When we started Cry It Out, I made notes about how long she cried so I could see our progress. It is so easy to forget what happens just a few days prior. When we made schedule changes, I kept good notes about bottles and naps and total amounts of sleep so I could try to problem solve if needed. She only has dirty diapers every few days now, so I can look at the log and see when I might expect a blow out. You know, useful stuff!
I felt (a little) vindicated yesterday when the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog wrote about keeping a log in the "good times", not only when you are making a change (she advocates keeping a log when you are dropping feedings or changing naps - you can see why I love her). If you don't know the typical pattern, it is hard to problem solve.
So, we'll try to make the switch to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. You can bet I'll be using my log to keep track of every.little.thing.
After we accomplish that? Who knows ...
It is like a security blanket. Or an accessory brain. Or crack.
I confess that I have an embarrassing number of sheets of paper detailing the Girl's every feeding, diaper and amount of sleep for a ridiculously long time.
It was critical to keep track of all of this for the first few days, weeks even, but months? I just keep doing it and I can't stop! I see those sideways glances from my husband, like "Still? You're doing it still?" He just chalks it up to a "mom thing" and avoids the conversation.
I'll blame the lactation consultant at the hospital. They sent me home with the form and innocently told me to keep track of her feedings. That piece of paper should have a disclaimer on the top: "Warning! Highly addictive!"
Some background may be helpful here ... I am the kind of person who likes to make lists just so I can cross things off. I re-copy grocery lists so they are easy to read and organized. I copy the same appointments into no less than 4 calendars just in case. Say it with me ... A-N-A-L! Give me a form to fill out and a good ink pen and I am a happy girl. You can imagine my delight at finding a form that needed to be filled out so many times a day!
It is kind of cute to look back at all of the sheets of paper. (Yes, I've kept them. I'm telling you - addicted.) The first day home from the hospital, the sheet was perfect. Perfect handwriting. Each notation in it's own slot. Military time! Within about 37 hours you can see that everything is just scribbled wherever it fits and military time is quite challenging to keep track of with no sleep, so forget that.
Initially I truly found it helpful to keep track of how long she fed and how much sleep we were getting and when I took my pain meds. Your doctor will ask about wet and dirty diapers and it is helpful to have a record. Fortunately, our Girl never had trouble growing, but it would be helpful for that, as well. (Also, it is helpful to have the phone number to your lactation consultant at the top of the sheet so you don't have to dig around trying to find it when you need to call them. And, call early in the morning and leave a message and they will often call you back before they start rounds for the day.)
I just kept going, though. It allowed me to put a tiny part of my brain on paper so I didn't have to remember, "Left or Right?" When we started Cry It Out, I made notes about how long she cried so I could see our progress. It is so easy to forget what happens just a few days prior. When we made schedule changes, I kept good notes about bottles and naps and total amounts of sleep so I could try to problem solve if needed. She only has dirty diapers every few days now, so I can look at the log and see when I might expect a blow out. You know, useful stuff!
I felt (a little) vindicated yesterday when the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog wrote about keeping a log in the "good times", not only when you are making a change (she advocates keeping a log when you are dropping feedings or changing naps - you can see why I love her). If you don't know the typical pattern, it is hard to problem solve.
So, we'll try to make the switch to the 4 hour schedule this weekend. You can bet I'll be using my log to keep track of every.little.thing.
After we accomplish that? Who knows ...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My daughter can read!
That has to be the explanation.
It is clear that she wriggled her way over to my laptop, checked out the blog, and read all about my efforts to get her on schedule.
And she laughed that great baby laugh.
"Ha, Mom! You think you know me? Think again!"
This time I was prepared for change, I just wasn't prepared for the when. Already? Didn't we just do this?
When your daycare teachers start to comment on needing a new nap schedule and they make jokes like, "See, she's telling you she doesn't like her schedule!", I guess it is time to give in.
I'm hesitant because it is the change to the FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE. This is 4 feedings. This is 2 naps. This is BIG. (Well, big in my exciting world of over-analyzing your 5-month-old). I do feel like it is significant - she will likely (!) be on this schedule for about the next 6 months and I don't want to rush it.
She isn't showing me the signs I am looking for that indicate I need to make the switch. She isn't sleeping through her feedings (rather, it is the opposite - she is up early and needs to be entertained before it is time to eat), and she isn't acting uninterested in eating (again, the opposite - she acts like she has never seen food before).
On the flip side, she has been taking 3-4 short naps and she really does need to move to 2 better naps. It is more restful for her and will make my life easier being home only twice a day instead of four times a day. Plus, her teachers will like me again.
I initially thought I would mess with her schedule to keep 5 feedings and 3 naps, but the math just doesn't work with a 6am wake time and a 7pm bedtime and a 430pm pick up at daycare. Not to mention that at 6 months she really should be at 2 naps and that is only a few weeks away.
I decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day holiday to move to the 4 hour schedule. She'll be home with me for 5 days in a row and I think we can set the stage pretty well. Between now and then I'll move her feedings around and try to get 2 good naps and 1 catnap in the afternoons. We'll end up with feedings at 6a, 10a, 2p and 6p. Lots of kids do well with 12 hours of sleep at night, but if she goes to bed at 630, her Dad will never see her. So, I think she'll eat and have a bath and be in bed at 7pm.
Who wouldn't like that?
After her 6 month check-up we will start to add solids, so don't worry, I'll still have something to hyper focus on.
It is clear that she wriggled her way over to my laptop, checked out the blog, and read all about my efforts to get her on schedule.
And she laughed that great baby laugh.
"Ha, Mom! You think you know me? Think again!"
This time I was prepared for change, I just wasn't prepared for the when. Already? Didn't we just do this?
When your daycare teachers start to comment on needing a new nap schedule and they make jokes like, "See, she's telling you she doesn't like her schedule!", I guess it is time to give in.
I'm hesitant because it is the change to the FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE. This is 4 feedings. This is 2 naps. This is BIG. (Well, big in my exciting world of over-analyzing your 5-month-old). I do feel like it is significant - she will likely (!) be on this schedule for about the next 6 months and I don't want to rush it.
She isn't showing me the signs I am looking for that indicate I need to make the switch. She isn't sleeping through her feedings (rather, it is the opposite - she is up early and needs to be entertained before it is time to eat), and she isn't acting uninterested in eating (again, the opposite - she acts like she has never seen food before).
On the flip side, she has been taking 3-4 short naps and she really does need to move to 2 better naps. It is more restful for her and will make my life easier being home only twice a day instead of four times a day. Plus, her teachers will like me again.
I initially thought I would mess with her schedule to keep 5 feedings and 3 naps, but the math just doesn't work with a 6am wake time and a 7pm bedtime and a 430pm pick up at daycare. Not to mention that at 6 months she really should be at 2 naps and that is only a few weeks away.
I decided to take advantage of the Memorial Day holiday to move to the 4 hour schedule. She'll be home with me for 5 days in a row and I think we can set the stage pretty well. Between now and then I'll move her feedings around and try to get 2 good naps and 1 catnap in the afternoons. We'll end up with feedings at 6a, 10a, 2p and 6p. Lots of kids do well with 12 hours of sleep at night, but if she goes to bed at 630, her Dad will never see her. So, I think she'll eat and have a bath and be in bed at 7pm.
Who wouldn't like that?
After her 6 month check-up we will start to add solids, so don't worry, I'll still have something to hyper focus on.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Note to Self #2
If you find yourself running ahead of time and feel proud of yourself for getting out of the house on time ... Don't.
Stop.
Think through what you just did.
Did you forget something?
Yesterday morning, I left the house 5 minutes early, which is unusual on the days when my cleaning lady comes and I am racing around to get things ready for her.
I felt pretty good!
Until, that is, I realized at 11:01am that I forgot to put any make-up on.
Stop.
Think through what you just did.
Did you forget something?
Yesterday morning, I left the house 5 minutes early, which is unusual on the days when my cleaning lady comes and I am racing around to get things ready for her.
I felt pretty good!
Until, that is, I realized at 11:01am that I forgot to put any make-up on.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
24 hours in ...
So far, so good with the Big Switch.
The Girl really didn't seem phased by dropping a feeding and moving bedtime around, at least not that she let us know (yet).
Our Girl has been on a 3 hour eating schedule pretty much since birth. I fed her every 3 hours when we came home from the hospital. "They" say you should have 8-12 feedings in 24 hours, but I think there have only been one or two days in her life when she had more than 8. She just didn't demand food and she was growing fine, so 8 worked well. Since she started sleeping well pretty early, she was at 7 feedings in 24 hours pretty early on.
About the time she really slept through the night and we started the "cry it out" (around 6 weeks), she was down to 6 feedings a day (6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p, 9p).
Some babies stretch out the 3 hour feeding schedule pretty early, but since she slept so long at night, I really felt she needed the nutrition during the day.
At about 11 weeks, we started to move up the 9pm feeding by 15 minute increments. When I started back to work at 12 weeks, her last feedings of the day were at 530p and 830p. At 15 weeks the last feeding was at 815p and at 16 weeks the last feeding was at 8p.
I began to notice that she only "snacked" at the 530p feeding - nursed a few minutes each side and really preferred to chat instead. She would then take a full feeding before bed. I wanted it to be the reverse, and took this as a sign that she was ready to drop a feeding. In retrospect, I also think this had something to do with the fact that she was getting 3-4 bottles on daycare days instead of her typical 1 on home days.
(Side note: When we started the bottle at 3 weeks we arbitrarily picked 4 oz. and she did fine. We moved up to 4.5 oz. pretty shortly thereafter, and really never increased it again. The Girl rarely acts hungry, so it is hard to tell if she needs more).
I tried to ease the adjustment from 6 to 5 feedings. I changed the evening feedings to 545 and 745p for several days, then we had an illness interruption, and then the feedings were moved to 600p and 730p for a few days. Starting yesterday, I just combined those feedings into one at 700p. Also, over the last 2 weeks her bottles were moved up to 5 oz. and she did fine (no extra spitting up and still taking the full feeding when due) and now she is getting 5.5 oz.
I decided to make the change over the weekend when we had several days at home to adjust before starting school again next week. Also, being the OCD person I am, I will give her bottles for 3 of her 5 feedings for these few days to help with the adjustment. I want to make sure she is eating enough so if she gets up during the night I can be pretty sure it isn't hunger. It is a lot harder for me to judge when she is just breastfeeding.
Our schedule is now eating at 6a, 930a, 1230p, 330p and 700p (a combo 3/3.5 hour schedule). I would have liked to do a 3.5 hour schedule, but it just doesn't work with our work and daycare schedules, so this will do for now. She still takes 3 or 3.5 naps during the day for a total of 4-5.5 hours of sleep, and then goes to bed at 730p and gets up at 600a.
(Side note 2: Our Girl has always napped more than the "typical" child, and I am totally OK with that. As long as she slept well at night, I didn't care if she had more naps than she "should". I think a lot of kids have 2 good naps and 1 variable nap until about 6 months, then drop to 2 naps. She really is at 3 good naps with a variable 4th nap.)
This is probably way too detailed of an account of the Switch, and in many ways I made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. My challenge was that I read as much as I could about how to do this ... and there isn't much information. I have books that describe sleeping and naps well, and books that describe feeding well, but have yet to come across a book that explains how the two ideally work together (while also taking breastfeeding and milk supply issues into account). The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems comes closest, but she advocates a 4 hour schedule starting at 3-4 months (which generally means 4 daytime feedings), with an extra feeding during the night. No thanks - we are past that.
Maybe the moral of the story is that a book just can't explain exactly how it will work for your child. Most advice says that your child will just let you know when they are ready .... I'm not sure what that means.
Books help, but a lot of it is really paying attention to your baby's cues.
I'm still trying to learn her language, but we'll get there.
The Girl really didn't seem phased by dropping a feeding and moving bedtime around, at least not that she let us know (yet).
Our Girl has been on a 3 hour eating schedule pretty much since birth. I fed her every 3 hours when we came home from the hospital. "They" say you should have 8-12 feedings in 24 hours, but I think there have only been one or two days in her life when she had more than 8. She just didn't demand food and she was growing fine, so 8 worked well. Since she started sleeping well pretty early, she was at 7 feedings in 24 hours pretty early on.
About the time she really slept through the night and we started the "cry it out" (around 6 weeks), she was down to 6 feedings a day (6a, 9a, 12p, 3p, 6p, 9p).
Some babies stretch out the 3 hour feeding schedule pretty early, but since she slept so long at night, I really felt she needed the nutrition during the day.
At about 11 weeks, we started to move up the 9pm feeding by 15 minute increments. When I started back to work at 12 weeks, her last feedings of the day were at 530p and 830p. At 15 weeks the last feeding was at 815p and at 16 weeks the last feeding was at 8p.
I began to notice that she only "snacked" at the 530p feeding - nursed a few minutes each side and really preferred to chat instead. She would then take a full feeding before bed. I wanted it to be the reverse, and took this as a sign that she was ready to drop a feeding. In retrospect, I also think this had something to do with the fact that she was getting 3-4 bottles on daycare days instead of her typical 1 on home days.
(Side note: When we started the bottle at 3 weeks we arbitrarily picked 4 oz. and she did fine. We moved up to 4.5 oz. pretty shortly thereafter, and really never increased it again. The Girl rarely acts hungry, so it is hard to tell if she needs more).
I tried to ease the adjustment from 6 to 5 feedings. I changed the evening feedings to 545 and 745p for several days, then we had an illness interruption, and then the feedings were moved to 600p and 730p for a few days. Starting yesterday, I just combined those feedings into one at 700p. Also, over the last 2 weeks her bottles were moved up to 5 oz. and she did fine (no extra spitting up and still taking the full feeding when due) and now she is getting 5.5 oz.
I decided to make the change over the weekend when we had several days at home to adjust before starting school again next week. Also, being the OCD person I am, I will give her bottles for 3 of her 5 feedings for these few days to help with the adjustment. I want to make sure she is eating enough so if she gets up during the night I can be pretty sure it isn't hunger. It is a lot harder for me to judge when she is just breastfeeding.
Our schedule is now eating at 6a, 930a, 1230p, 330p and 700p (a combo 3/3.5 hour schedule). I would have liked to do a 3.5 hour schedule, but it just doesn't work with our work and daycare schedules, so this will do for now. She still takes 3 or 3.5 naps during the day for a total of 4-5.5 hours of sleep, and then goes to bed at 730p and gets up at 600a.
(Side note 2: Our Girl has always napped more than the "typical" child, and I am totally OK with that. As long as she slept well at night, I didn't care if she had more naps than she "should". I think a lot of kids have 2 good naps and 1 variable nap until about 6 months, then drop to 2 naps. She really is at 3 good naps with a variable 4th nap.)
This is probably way too detailed of an account of the Switch, and in many ways I made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. My challenge was that I read as much as I could about how to do this ... and there isn't much information. I have books that describe sleeping and naps well, and books that describe feeding well, but have yet to come across a book that explains how the two ideally work together (while also taking breastfeeding and milk supply issues into account). The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems comes closest, but she advocates a 4 hour schedule starting at 3-4 months (which generally means 4 daytime feedings), with an extra feeding during the night. No thanks - we are past that.
Maybe the moral of the story is that a book just can't explain exactly how it will work for your child. Most advice says that your child will just let you know when they are ready .... I'm not sure what that means.
Books help, but a lot of it is really paying attention to your baby's cues.
I'm still trying to learn her language, but we'll get there.
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