Positive Parenting

I went to another discipline class tonight put on by my local Parents as Teachers organization. My mom was nice enough to sit with Ells and she asked how the class was ... Well, unless they are going to come to your house and discipline your kid, I guess it isn't all that helpful. :)

I have been feeling the need for a refresher on my approach to discipline. I really liked the Love and Logic classes I took last spring, but our issues now are so different. The class tonight was similar, but based on Dr. Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline books and workshop.

I took away a few good nuggets of info, along with a lot of good reminders of things I already knew I should do. There was a new approach to time out that I need to wrap my head around, but overall I feel like I will just try harder to approach things positively and with an even temper. There was a Q&A session at the end, and I also felt lucky that we don't have a lot of the issues that other parents are dealing with!

My favorite reminder of the night was about genuine encounters. Connection with your child breeds cooperation - make eye contact and touch/hug/cuddle in a playful way. Only 5 minutes a day of focused play with your child will decrease your power struggles by 50%. Intuitive? Yes. BUT - so easy to miss this opportunity on crazy work days.

While we're at it - how are you approaching time out? (And, more importantly, does it seem to work?)

They call her Houdini

Well, it happened.

We had the first experience of diaper-taken-off-in-the-crib. Three times. Last night.

I knew it was coming ... Ells just learned to take her pants off, which she finds endlessly entertaining. She took her diaper off in the living room one night last week while we were cooking dinner. I tried to respond appropriately without inciting her to do it again ... and it seemed to work ... well .... until last night.

The little Miss is a pretty short thing, so the only PJ's that fit her are pants and tops (currently 18-24 months and she is 26 months). We have found her in the morning a few times with no pants on, but the diaper has stayed intact.

Our bedtime routine lately has been super aggravating with lots of ups and downs and back and forths (a topic for another time), so it wasn't anything new to hear her chatting in bed far past her bedtime. I went up to tell her to be quiet and saw a white fluffy thing on the floor. I didn't recall a blanket in her bed that looked like that, then quickly realized what it was. I turned on the light and the sweet little thing was sitting naked in her crib with a sheepish, yet proud, look on her face. Hoping it was a one-time event, I calmly admonished her, re-diapered and re-dressed her, and put her back in bed.

Ten minutes later ... Mommy, mommy, mommy! ... the wet sheets must have done her in this time, as yet again the diaper was on the floor and she had peed in her bed. It is quite the challenge to respond appropriately in this situation - you want to get the point across that it is NOT ok, yet don't want to start a game. Thank goodness we had one pair of footie PJ's in her drawer - they are 2 pieces that snap together at the waist. I thought we had fooled her for sure, and she seem exhausted, so I assumed we were done.

Five minutes later ... I go to check on the noise in her room and find a half-nakey girl in her crib, arm out of her shirt (Flashdance-style) and diaper #3 on the floor. You have to be freaking kidding. Who knew she could do snaps? And, snaps in the back no less? (Congrats on the fine motor skills, little gal). The look on her face was just priceless, almost like, why do my pants keep coming off? She seemed kind of bewildered at the whole thing. :) I couldn't stop laughing, nor could Daddy-O, though we tried to shield our faces as best we could.

Our last attempt seemed to work fine - all the de-pantsing must have worn her out - and she was soon fast asleep. I am off to Old Navy today to get zip up PJ's that we will turn backwards, I guess.

Counting my blessings that 3 diapers off = only 1 set of wet sheets. Hallelujah.

Life-changing

Well, that might be drastic. Kitchen-changing, for sure.

I'm just muddling through the parenting thing these days without much to report, so I'll expand on my family-dinner theme this week ...

I was trying to come up with a Mexican-themed dinner this week to use up the avocados and tomatoes I had on hand. We always have some chicken breasts in the freezer, but I generally don't have any creative uses for them. I thawed a few and thought I would come up with something, then serendipitously came across this technique:

How to Cook Moist & Tender Chicken Breasts Every Time at The Kitchn

They aren't kidding! It worked great for me - truly a revelation. I just added about 1 Tbs of Mexican spices to the flour for some extra flavor, but you could use anything or nothing at all. I squeezed 4 chicken breasts into the pan and we had two for dinner that night, along with two the following night chopped up for tacos - I just rewarmed them in a nonstick skillet.

The best part, though, is that it takes 20 minutes once you put the lid on. You can definitely whip up a side dish or salad, or get your kid's plate ready and the table set while you are waiting for the chicken to finish.

Give it a try!

Save Elmo!

Thanks, Cool Mom Picks, for the title ...
see their article SAVE ELMO! here.

If your child partakes of Sesame Street, or any of the other kid-programming on PBS ...

Or, if you love to spend time in your car because you can listen to NPR ...

Make your opinion known at 170 Million Americans for Public Broadcasting.

Without getting too political, there is a funding crisis in this country and I fear things are going to get bad, fast. We all need to step up and raise our voices for causes we believe in.

I'm raising my voice about this one .... You?

Family dinner

I've made some effort in the last few weeks to try to get food on the table in an appropriate amount of time for all of us to eat together.

And?

It is really nice.

Ells has been trying to drag out bedtime more and more these days, so even if I am no-nonsense, she is rarely in bed with lights out before 730pm. And even then, there is lots of going up and down to replace socks, or covers, or something else important. Eating dinner at 800pm is too late for me, or my dinner just gets cold due to the constant interruptions.

I also think eating at the table with us makes Ellen a little bit more comfortable with eating at restaurants. We don't eat out with her very often, but I will jinx it and say she has been doing better. Confining her to the inside seat of a booth seems to work best - a little bit of freedom, but she can't run wild.

Finally, I notice that she is more willing to try foods that we are all eating together, rather than if I just give her the leftovers the next day. This isn't rocket science, I know, but nice to see that it sometimes works in practice.

What this does mean for me, though, is that I need to have a few really easy meals planned for the week, and something that seems reasonably kid friendly. We haven't been a big taco family, but that is a great one for all of us. Pasta works pretty well, too. She isn't big on soups (or, I should say, she isn't big on soups at home. She seems to eat them just fine at school). It takes more planning on the front end, but I like getting into the habit a bit more.

What about you? What are your go-to, family-friendly meals?

When you are stuck inside .... for days

A friend posted this on Facebook the other day and I think it is genius:

www.barnesandnoble.com/storytime

Type it in, and you should come to the kid's storytime page, with a different story each month (I think).

Generally speaking, I don't agree with the concept of farming out book-reading to strangers; however, I think this is a more educational use of screen time, and it is a novelty for the little ones.

Someone else knows the Pinkalicious story? Amazing!

The current story is Pinkalicious, which Ellen loves and I am growing to despise. There are some good old stories, too, if you look in the archives - a fun way to spend part of an afternoon when you can't go outside for fear you will lose your child in a snow drift.

I eat it all up, Mama

We've officially entered the chicken finger phase at our house.

On a few occasions we've been out running around, and I've stopped to get Ellen a quick lunch - a chicken finger and fruit. Of course, she devours the chicken finger, when at home it is virtually impossible to get the girl to eat any meat.

So, I went the "home-chicken finger" route and made some of my own to stash in the freezer.

I got some chicken tenders from Whole Foods and made these Oatmeal-Crusted Chicken Tenders from Cooking Light. If you make them, read the reviews and make a few alterations. I think they are just OK as written, but Ells eats them. They were definitely super easy - I just baked them in the oven, let them cool and stashed them in the freezer. It only takes about 5 minutes in the toaster oven to heat one up for dinner - add some ketchup or BBQ sauce and she is a pretty happy girl.

Do you have any good recipes like this?

How do you get your kid to eat more protein?

Good reminders

Are you snowed in today?

We are. Maybe this is a good way to fill your time ...

While it is a scary thought, I read this post on Young House Love recently about fire safety and it was a good reminder of some things I've been meaning to do.

Read here: On A Serious Note

Particularly, I've been meaning to sign up for an online back-up service - do any of you use one that you like?

Thanks for the tip, I need it this week

I don't know about you all, but the dark circles under my eyes have become outta control since the joyous occasion of childbirth. Oh yeah, and my hair is crazy and sucks, but - hey - I've got a darling 2-year-old! :)

There is a picture of me with Ellen, just shortly after coming home from the hospital, where I am holding this tiny little baby and I'm looking up at the camera and the dark circles under my eyes are crazy. It is one of the only pictures I've seen of myself where I saw it and immediately thought I looked exactly like my father's family. Not that they all have terrible dark circles, but that our faces looked so similar and it clearly is genetic. Yes, let's blame it on that.

I've never been one to spend a lot of time on my make-up in the mornings, but I've really felt that I needed something extra in the cover-up department since becoming a mom. That is, when I have time to get to Sephora or the make-up counter, which is never. I tried a few new products, which haven't been miraculous, but make me feel a little bit better. I also just switched all my make-up to Bare Escentuals ... do any of you use it? It took a little bit of getting used to, but I do really like it.

I just saw this tip today on Ain't No Mom Jeans about highlighter ... maybe this is worth a shot?

How are you covering up the late nights that show themselves on your face?

One of those days

It's a wheezing-kid, no daycare, 7am meeting, car being towed - kind of day around here.

i.e. NO BLOGGING.

I have learned, though, that life just doesn't work as well without lots of grandparents around and a helpful spouse. Trying to see the beauty in that silver lining today!

Snow day?

How do you spend your time with your toddler on unexpected snow days? Yesterday marked the first of 5 days of togetherness and I know I will need to be pulling out the reinforcements by the time Monday rolls around.

(On a related note, to you full time stay-at-home mothers, BLESS YOU.)

I admit that I succumb to the demand of "More Livia, Mommy. More pirate. More garden. NOW!" When you can't leave the house and can't go outside, TV=sanity preserver.

My sister-in-law let me know about a website for crafty ideas the other day that is probably worth a look: Tools for Motherhood.

I think I've posted some of these before, but here are some websites for crafty inspiration:
The Artful Parent
Make and Takes
Made by Joel
Mini-Eco

Valentine's day is coming up ... maybe you can get a head start on gifts for the grandparents? (Let me know if you do, because I usually get around to that the day before).

In case you were wondering, Ells did spend a significant portion of her day imaginary painting every surface in our house with the silicone basting brush. You could try that, too. :)

Play Pin-cess, mommy?

I previously mentioned my unease with princesses.

I don't recall that I ever went through a princess phase, though admittedly my memory is crap. I think most little girls go through a dress-up / fancy dress phase, though I think when we were children the number of princesses was much smaller (i.e. Cinderella - DONE), and most certainly the Disney marketing machine was nothing like it is today.

Miss E really doesn't talk about princesses yet, but I know that day is coming. She likes to wear tiaras and jewelry, but that is the extent of the dress up so far. I want to have an appropriate response when the princess train roars through our house ...

So, to my point, do any of you get Parents magazine? There was a nice article this month (which I can't find online) called The Power of the Princess. It includes an interview with Peggy Orenstein about her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girly-Girl Culture.

I certainly can't summarize the book, but one of the main points is that a lot of parents try to avoid princesses at all costs, only to miss the fact that traditional fairy tales often highlight young women who are resourceful, clever, humble and who show strength of character.

Her advice?
1. Tell the fairy tales. Find a version you like and read it together. Movies aren't bad, just consider supplementing with different versions of the story.
2. Don't limit girly things. It's OK for your daughter to love Barbie and dress-up, but give your daughter tools to build a treehouse or fort or castle for her dolls. Encourage a variety of interests.
3. Give your girl choices. Instead of always saying No, figure out what you can live with (princess-wise) and let her choose from those things.

How have you addressed this?

Good reminder

A lovely sentiment today from Ashley at Under the Sycamore - reminding us to live in the moment with our children, though those moments pass so quickly.

My lips are chappy

The poor little girl has terrible chapped lips all the time now, despite the fact that she loves (LOVES) to play with chapstick. (It mostly goes on her chin, neck and belly).

"Mama, my lips are chappy." "I need da cha-stick".

We have a humidifier in her room at night, which seems to do nothing. She tends to wipe off Aquaphor or something of the like if I put it on her lips before bed. I read somewhere that using Lanolin works well - very sticky and safe, so we started trying that. And, I'm certain you all have a huge tube of that stuff leftover somewhere from when you were nursing.

She also has that typical kid chapped red skin around her mouth. What is that all about? All I can figure is that she drools in her sleep and it gets irritated? So strange.

How are you tackling these things?

Resolutions?

Do you make New Years resolutions?

My resolution is not to set myself up to fail, therefore I don't make resolutions.

Projects?
YES.

Things I would like to do?
YES.

Scary lists of goals?
HELL NO.

That being said, it seems popular to make a resolution to exercise more. Back to one of my go-to blogs, Ain't No Mom Jeans ... They had a post yesterday about At-Home Work-Out solutions that seemed very timely (read the comments, too).

Oh, and remember when I posted about how to fit in exercise? My plan lasted for all of about 2 weeks and now my yoga mat is the perfect place for Ells to have a tea party.

In other words, setting myself up to fail?
CHECK.

My, how the tides have turned

Happy New Year!

Shall we start this year talking about sleep again? Great, let's do!

Just wanted to note for posterity that Miss E has switched things all around and is now a poor school napper and a great home napper!

I never thought this day would come and, while still annoying in its own way, I much prefer the long naps to be on my watch. It does make our school days pretty dicey - who doesn't dread the screaming child on the way home from daycare? - but our home days are much more pleasant. I can count on a 2 hour nap, at least, and yesterday even had to wake her up after 3 hours which has, oh, NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. She just loves sleeping in her own crib, like the rest of us, I guess.

I'm afraid this may also signal the end of our easy nighttime transitions. We occasionally put her down in the Pack n' Play at a friends house and she generally goes right to sleep and transitions easily back to her own bed. On New Year's Eve, she went down fine, but woke up after a few hours and couldn't go back to sleep in a strange place. She was wide awake when we got home and stayed up for another hour talking to herself in bed. "Twink-a, twink-a, yittle stahr; how I wond-a what you are. Yay!! *clapping*

Cute? Definitely, yes.

Tiring? Also, yes.

Good thing we are generally too tired to have such an active social life. :)

Consider it tackled

What did I do with my day off yesterday?

Why, organize the clutter, of course!

There are few things that make me as happy as purging, cleaning and organizing THE STUFF before the new year begins. I measured our cabinets, had a plan of attack, and accomplished the goal. Success!!

I purchased some clear boxes at Target to house craft supplies, Playdoh and accessories, and Legos.
We had a small basket in our family room that collected the miscellaneous dolls and toys that didn't otherwise have a home in a drawer or behind closed doors. Despite moving several of the items to the "baby" box in storage, it was still overflowing. I was hoping to find a large storage container with a lid - a nice looking basket or box or something, but I didn't want to spend a ton of money and couldn't find anything I liked on short notice.

We had gift cards to spend and I found these large canvas containers at Pottery Barn Kids. So, free to us and it does the trick. I was hoping for the neutral color, but they were out of stock (of course), and red matches our room OK without looking too childish. We actually got the floor model, which I would recommend, because it was already put together and steamed!
My other goal was to find some way to corral all the food and kitchen accessories that came with the new kitchen that Santa brought. I didn't want to buy a large storage-type piece of furniture, because it was going to be very visible in my living room. I also only had a pretty small corner to work with and I wanted covered / stacking storage.

I took a look on the basket aisle at Michael's and they had two decent looking rectangular woven baskets with hinged lids, two different sizes. They aren't the sturdiest things in the world, but look fine and hold all the gadgets for less than $40 total on sale. Sold.

You can see that I don't have much real estate to work with here, and even less with the new kitchen, but I now have glimpsed the hours and hours of entertainment this will provide the Girl. Worth the sacrifice, no?

Strategic storage

Well, it has started.

We had our first round of family Christmas and I am already overwhelmed by the number of new things that will be taking up residence in our home.

Until this point, I feel like I have done a decent job of finding hidden storage in a drawer here, or a cabinet there, and most of Ellen's things can be hidden when desired. We are pretty much at capacity, though, and even though I purged some things recently, she still really plays with most of it on a rotating basis.

My current plan is to wait to see the extent of what Santa brings, then shop the after-holiday sales for some decent looking storage containers with lids. (All of this storage is in our living and dining room, of course, not in any magical playroom).

My only tip at this point, as the mother of a young girl, is to have a stash of small boxes or containers on hand for the myriad of little treasures that come through your door. Miss E brought home about 48 Silly Bandz yesterday, which I promptly put in an old Christmas tin. She is more willing to keep them in one place if I show her what that place should be, and she has just as much fun moving them in and out (and in and out and in and out) of that box.

How are you strategic in attacking toy storage?

'tis the Season

I think I'm finally learning what Christmas is all about when you have a kid in the house. This year seems about 167% more hectic than last year, and we really don't even have all that much on the calendar. Maybe it is the way the holiday falls on a weekend this year, but I just feel like Christmas is coming at a rapid pace, whether I am ready or not, and it is hard to sit back and enjoy the time.

One of my good friends was recently telling me about a book, and I can't remember the title of course because my mind is full of other junk, but it was about keeping your sanity in the Christmas season. And not only from a religious perspective, but just about not over-programming your family, not going crazy on the gift-giving, and making a deliberate effort to focus on special time with your family members.

I feel like I tried to keep the Santa gifts practical and small, but then when I look at the pile I see that Santa grossly over-purchased. The birthday right before Christmas doesn't help things.

I love having a decorated house, but I always feel under the gun to get things up and out, and then the pressure to take them down the second Christmas is over.

I would like to establish one or two special traditions for our family, things that allow us to spend time together, and leave it at that. As Ells grows up, I think we will be more successful with this. We did have a spontaneous trip this week to visit a big Christmas tree and gingerbread village and it was perfect - hot chocolate and treats and a happy girl.

How do you keep the sanity in your holiday activities?

Also, there was a nice post today on Under the Sycamore about giving your children your presence, not only presents. That is the thing they want the most anyway.

In this season of picture taking

This is a good reminder about the kids in your life ...

Visit Know the Glow and watch the video.

The mom featured in the video is the daughter of a friend of the family. She noticed the glow in her son's eye in some of their family photos and eventually brought it to her doctor's attention, resulting in the diagnosis of an eye disease. Though he doesn't have retinoblastoma, a cancer of the eye, I have worked with children who have this disorder and it can be as devastating as it sounds.

I had heard stories before about parents who noticed a strange or white glow in their child's eye on printed photos. What I didn't realize is that the glow can be very sporadic - perhaps only present in a small percentage of photos over time. This is a really good reminder and something that is worth sharing with your loved ones.