It adds up

A co-worker mentioned this article to me yesterday and I thought it was worth sharing ...

Teaching Kids to Love Math - Wall Street Journal

I think I've alluded to a similar idea before as told to me by our Parents as Teachers educator - there is a correlation between the amount of block play (with related math concepts) a child has and their success in school / math. I think America / Western countries focus more on reading and music concepts in toddlers and less on math and science. I'm certainly guilty of the same.

Ellen has never been a child who loves to play with blocks or legos, so I don't push it. She really does love art and creative projects and reading, but I think I can still work harder at building math concepts into our days. She has started to do easy addition by counting her fingers, which I've tried to encourage. Last night at dinner I tried to incorporate some subtraction - 6 grapes, take away 1, now you have ....

Cooking is a good way to do this, too, and lord knows I've been making LOTS of treats lately. It's OK - it's Math!

Some light reading

I'm waist deep (belly deep?) in projects this weekend - making lists and lists and lists! I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night this week and then spent the next 1 1/2 hours planning Ellen's birthday party in my head. Nesting - UGH - though rather productive, I must admit. I've also already purchased half of my Christmas gifts - jealous?  :)

Here is a link to a good article on 7 Lessons Your Daughter Needs You To Teach Her. And, the photograph just happens to be from yours truly of two of our favorite people!

Also, came across this on Flipboard last night from Parenting magazine ... What Teachers Wish Parents Knew about Kindergarten. We aren't there yet (phew!), but thought there were some interesting points, especially on teaching your kids how to make friends and be social.

In other random news, if you're looking for a Halloween bucket for this year, Land's End has some new cute ones that are like their tote bags that I am generally obsessed with. Yes, I will be working on Ellen's Halloween costume this weekend. Nesting!

Tricky people

I came across this in the wormhole that is Pinterest. I admittedly haven't really explored it, but it seemed like a good thing worth sharing.

I have had some of this same difficulty in explaining the concept of a "stranger" to Ellen. Same with "bad guy" (or "bad lady", I suppose). I think around age 3 they start to develop a concept of "bad guy" from movies and books, which is most certainly not what a "bad guy" in real life will look like.

Tricky People are the New Strangers

You have to get it wrong before you get it right

I'm in the midst of spray painting furniture and arranging art for walls ... two rooms to get ready for one Big and one Little and, seemingly, no time for blogging!

Interesting article via Design Mom and The New York Times on

Raising Successful Children

Caution, caution

I follow our little local police department on facebook and, fortunately, the posts are mostly of the "lock your cars" "bike stolen" "traffic work" variety rather than that other nasty stuff.

They did have a good tip the other day, I thought ....
If you take your kid(s), or especially a group of kids, to a busy event - circus, fair, etc - take a picture of them on your phone before you leave the house.

Should they get separated from you -**please, please, please never let this happen to me** - you have a current picture that shows exactly what they are wearing. It can be distributed quickly in an emergency.

(My two scariest "lost child" moments thus far have been 1. in the hardware store as Ellen wandered the aisles just fast enough that she was gone before I turned each corner, and 2. when she was watering with me in the back yard and again, wandered to the front and around the house fast enough that we were chasing each other, but couldn't see each other. Awful. Our rule is that she has to be able to see my eyes if we aren't holding hands.)

I love taking pictures with my iPhone and I bet a lot of us do it anyways, but I've never specifically thought to get a quick full body picture including Ellen's outfit.

Note to self ...

Eat this!

My mother-in-law got us the Eat This, Not That book for kids. Not in the "you-need-help" kind of way, but in a "knew-you-would-enjoy-this" kind of way. She's good like that. While a lot of it is common sense, and we eat at very few of the chain restaurants they profile, I still thought there were some good tips - a few of which I'll share!

I was pretty much of a food nazi before Ellen was born regarding what I planned on her eating. That continued for most of her first year - I made almost everything that went in her mouth, most of it organic, and she was a delightful eater. I loosened up quite a bit as she started eating meals at school, by necessity and to avoid rocking the boat too much, and have continued to loosen up. Did I think I would share my secret stash of gummy bears with her? No, but it can't be avoided and, really, what's the harm in a gummy bear or two?

Again, I think common sense prevails: we eat most meals at home, cooked by me, and she eats virtually anything I put in front of her. She is willing to try almost any new food and that is just as important to me as feeding her healthy food (which I do). We eat out with family or friends once a week or so, and she gets a special mom-daughter lunch every now and then, which is fun and fine. She doesn't notice if I order her green beans instead of fries, but she also gets to sneak a few fries from someone else's plate. She is a snack-lover, and I try to make healthy choices (beyond fruit or veggies, of course). She eats a lot of organic food, but not everything.

Here are some things I found interesting:
- Chick-Fil-A got the award for America's Healthiest Chain Restaurant for Kids. Politics aside (which I do struggle with, damn you waffle fries), a chicken strip, fruit and milk is a pretty decent "treat" lunch.
- Chipotle is surprisingly less healthy than I would have thought. Crispy steak tacos? Yes. Soft chicken tacos? Not nearly as healthy. No cheese or sour cream, of course, is what they recommend. Boo.
- Dairy Queen strawberry sundae has 260 calories and 7g of fat and the sauce's first ingredient is strawberries, as it should be. This is a lot better than a milkshake, though maybe similar to a Blizzard. We don't often get to DQ, usually opting for FroYo, but I do love me a dipped cone.
- I don't ever get to Jamba Juice, and frankly am not even sure we have one near us, but I guess they have an All Fruit Line of smoothies just like I would make at home.
- Krispy Kreme: If we eat donuts, we go to our fave local place. But, the book says that the sugar donut at KK has less sugar than any other donut on the menu. Who knew?
- It's funny how I rationalize fast food that Ellen eats. She has never had a meal from McDonald's, though has eaten at Chick-fil-A plenty of times. The small vanilla cone at McDonald's is a great treat for kids - 45 calories, 1 g fat, 6 g sugar. Go ahead, get one for yourself, too. The Egg McMuffin is also a pretty healthy breakfast in a pinch, as far as fast food breakfasts go.
- Ellen was begging for Panera this week. I usually get her the kid meal with a turkey sandwich, but a healthier choice is the half chicken salad sandwich on wheat bread. Bonus - Ells would eat this!
- The Wendy's single hamburger with everything (minus mayo) is one of the healthiest fast food hamburgers. 

For grocery store items:
- We usually buy the Nature Valley granola bars because I think they have the fewest "weird" ingredients. Surprisingly, the Clif Kid organic chocolate ZBar has less calories, less fat and more fiber. Seems counter-intuitive, but Ellen would be THRILLED to get to eat this.
- Most other grocery store items are as you would expect - watch for hidden sugar and calories, whole wheat over white, etc, etc. We don't buy much packaged food, but I must say that I really do like regular pasta vs. whole wheat. Sue me. I bought a loaf of white bread from the bakery this week for meatloaf sandwiches (the only acceptable method) and Ellen hardly knew what it was.

And, for the pregnant among you, if faced with a a vending machine at work: Nacho cheese Doritos have fewer calories and about the same fat as a bag of cheese Goldfish. Go for it. :)

I also read a good tip somewhere this week - The mother's rule was that her kids had to ask her before getting any snack, but they could have a piece of fruit (or veggies I suppose) without asking. The path of least resistance is also the healthiest!

Just buy it

How are you all approaching chores / allowance / teaching the value of money??

We have just started having some of the, "Well, you can just buy it" or "just pay for it, Mom" comments from Ellen when she asks for something and I tell her no. It is time to start working on teaching the value of money, but I'm not sure the best way to approach it all.

I casually asked her if she would like to do some chores, like making her bed or emptying the dishwasher, for some nickels and dimes. She was all about it. I didn't mention anything else, but the next morning she made her bed without prompting and yesterday she came to help me unload the dishwasher. She kept saying "I need to do my chapters. I need to finish these chapters!" and I was so confused ... took me a minute ... "chores??" I asked. Oh, yes, chores. :)

So, I thought I would come up with some casual chart and give her some coins to put in a piggy bank, but the more I researched it for ideas, the more confused I got. Not surprisingly, there are all kinds of opinions on the best way to do this. Here are the challenges I see:

1. Let's be real - I will be in charge of remembering to do this, so it needs to be simple.

2. Some people are very opposed to rewarding "expected" behaviors with money. So, for example, I do expect that Ellen will make her bed and pick up her toys and clear her dishes at some point - those are normal parts of being a human being - but I'm not sure I see a problem with a monetary reward for those activities at age 3.

3. Some people don't want to provide an "allowance", i.e. money that is just given without being tied to a specific activity. They do, however, reward specific tasks, above and beyond the expected tasks, with money. Like working in the yard, or folding laundry, or whatever.

4. A lot of people want to enforce the habit of saving and giving to charity, which I like. But if the monetary reward is 10 cents, how do you split that up into different banks? With pennies?

5. At what point do you let your child bust into their bank and buy something? I think there is value in making decisions about spending money, and even making bad choices so you don't do it the next time, but if Ellen wants a Barbie (which I don't intend to buy her), it's going to take A LOT of bed making at 5 cents a pop to earn a reward. Will she get bored and lose interest?

I don't recall how my parents approached this, but I do think I have a healthy respect for money and savings. I had my first checking account in probably 5th or 6th grade and I diligently balance my checkbook every month. I had an allowance in high school, and I also worked after school and on weekends, and I was responsible for paying for most of my fun and probably some of my clothes. I was never paid for good grades - those were expected - and I had a lot of household tasks that were my responsibility and I lost privileges if I didn't do them. Oh the days of losing phone privileges! I was discussing this with my mom and I think she could see me spiraling out of control and we changed the subject. :)

So - deep breath - this isn't a life or death matter. I think I may start with a small chart with some basic tasks that get rewarded with money. Ellen is young. As she grasps the concept, then I think we can move some of those tasks into the "expected household behavior" category and add new tasks to her list. Once she starts to grasp the idea of money, then I think we can add a savings and charity component.

I did see this idea on Pinterest from The Creative Mama on easy sticker charts. It looks simple and I like the idea of just basically rewarding good behavior in any form, but it doesn't involve the money component that I'm looking for. Maybe down the road ....

Tips? Thoughts? Am I too early on this at age 3 1/2??

(Edited to add: another good post on Dinner: A Love Story about some similar issues - my mom and sister were telling me about The New Yorker article, in particular).

Birth Plan

My plan is:
1. Get the baby out
2. Take the baby home

I'm not so worried about any of the other details ...

This, however, is worth a read and good for a laugh -
Jamie and Jeff's Birth Plan via McSweeney's

Play time

Artsy stuff is the primary time-occupier around here. Ellen does like to read, and play dress up (mostly when she should be having "quiet time"), and there is an occasional game or puzzle, but she always, always comes back to coloring.She is getting pretty good at coloring in the lines and likes some coloring books, but also really likes free form drawing on plain paper.

I recently picked up several pieces from the Todd Oldham Kids Made Modern line at Target. I'm not sure how long this line will last in stores, so I stocked up on a few of my favorites. I must admit that I initially purchased because they are so darn cute, but I really love their colored pencils, big and little, and their watercolor set. The little pencils are PERFECT for coloring on-the-go. They come in a round canister with a lid that is pretty hard to destroy, unlike the typical crayon box. My only gripe is that they don't come with a sharpener and Ells uses them pretty quickly! The watercolors also have lots of great colors and come with a little pad of watercolor paper, which makes all the difference. I love what Ellen dreams up and some of her pieces are frame-worthy. I just put an old sorority T-shirt on her (a "smob" she calls it) and let her go ....

I've been really keeping my eyes open for good sales on toys and such as we approach the end of summer. The "end of summer" sounds ridiculous, but back-to-school sales are right around the corner and then fall and then baby and then OHMYGODHELPME. I want to keep the holidays pretty low-key this year and would love to get my shopping done early .... any suggestions??

Balance

Great series on Cup of Jo this week on work-life balance for moms ... check it out here.

I must say, most days I feel super, super lucky to have the option to work part time at a job I really love. Three days of work is the ideal for me and our family. Ellen has a spot in a daycare that we have been really happy with and, while not perfect, I don't think any child-care situation is perfect. Even when you're exclusively doing it yourself!

I find it so interesting to read about other families and how they make their lives work. Last year, Joanna did a series on work-from-home moms. I would also find it really interesting to read about stay-at-home moms because, for the life of me, I don't know how you do it!

Safety patrol

I have a great friend who is a nurse. Actually, I have several great friends who are nurses - they are the best kind of friends to have. However, the first nurse friend is a real safety hound and a car seat expert. For real, certified and everything. She shared this with me today - MORE car seat changes.

Child Seat Requirements Change with 2014 Rule

Read it through, but the basic idea is that the LATCH system may not be adequate for children who are 30+ pounds and are in a car seat that is heavy. Great, just as I reach the point of feeling very comfortable with the LATCH system and not at all comfortable installing a seat with the seat belt.

Also, I just realized the other day that our convertible car seat max's out at 40 pounds. Ells is a compact 36 pounds these days and I have no way to predict when she'll reach 40, but it can't be that far away. So, yet another car seat purchase looming ... advice?

Finally, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Fourth of July holiday. We live in a place where home fireworks aren't allowed and it is so hot and dry it's probably a bad idea anyway. We are going to make Diet Coke Mentos bombs tonight with our little friend up the street - I think (hope) it will be just as entertaining for the 2-3 year old crowd.

I'm going to follow the directions at Pancakes and French Fries: How to Make Cola Bombs (The Easier Way).

The wisdom of Will Smith

Not sure how I feel about Will Smith in general, but came across this quote this week and thought it was pretty much spot-on (regarding their tween-age daughter shaving her head):

"We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it's like how can you teach her that you're in control of her body? If I teach her that I'm in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she's going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can't cut my hair but that's her hair. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she's going out with a command that it is hers. She is used to making those decisions herself. We try to keep giving them those decisions until they can hold the full weight of their lives."

In the terribleness of all the Sandusky trial lately, I have been reading stories here and there about adults who had experiences with assault as children or young adults. Not an on-going abuse situation, but having an inappropriate experience with a friend's parent or a trusted adult or a bullying situation that went just a step too far. What was striking to me is how many people never told their parents for fear of ruining a family or friend relationship, or feeling like they could handle it on their own, even as a 12- or 16-year-old. It was very surprising to me and so sad. I think (hope) that every parent wants their child to feel like they can tell them anything, but how exactly do you teach that?

There is some commercial on TV right now with two teenage boys and one of them wrecks their car and says, "My dad is going to KILL me." There is such a fine line between instilling fear in your children and making them too fearful to tell you when something bad happens or is about to happen. I want my children to learn responsibility and good decision making and when things are fun and when fun borders on dangerous. I also want them to learn that there are SO, SO many things worse than upsetting your parents. Hair grows back, cars can be fixed, tattoos can be lasered off (right?). There are many other things not so easily fixed. I want them to know that we will listen first, hug first, help first - disappointment and discipline have a place, too, but those things can wait.

Dressing the bump

I've wised up this pregnancy. Or, at least, continue to be in denial about the clothing situation.

With my first pregnancy, I think I was fully in maternity pants by 17 weeks. I am now 19+ weeks and still wearing regular pants and I think I have a few weeks to go, which pleases me. There is something about the shiny appeal of "maternity clothes" in your first pregnancy that seems fun and exciting and cute. And then you realize that maternity clothes are rarely any of those things and you spend your second pregnancy trying to avoid them like the plague.

Further, my last pregnancy was fully 4 years ago and I pulled out my 2 boxes of maternity clothes and was appalled at what I wore. I borrowed lots from friends, and my bigger maternity clothes are for winter and still seem OK-ish, but my summer stuff was slim pickins and mostly dreadful.

I think this is my last pregnancy and I don't want to spend a ton of money on things that won't get any more use, but I also need clothes to get me to work 3-4 days a week and then some cute-ish weekend things and/or clothing appropriate for chasing a small child.

Here are a few treasures that have worked well for me so far, in case you are looking!

This is the Merona Women's V-neck Crossover dress from Target, non-maternity (though I think they have a maternity version online). I bought it one size up and it looks pretty cute with a tank underneath and a belt around the waist, pulled up over your bump a bit.

 This is also from Target, the Mossimo women's cowl neck tank, that I think is on clearance now. I also bought it one size up. It is really long on me and has room to grow, though the arm holes are huge, so it requires a cardigan.

These Gap pants are the MVP of my pregnancy wardrobe so far. Like, I've worn them almost everyday since about 7 weeks. They are the Gap slim cropped pants and I have two pairs. I ordered them on a super sale early in my pregnancy and a lot of the reviews said to order one size up generally, which I did. I also ordered two sizes up and just pulled them out last week, which will buy me a few more weeks of wear and probably postpartum, too. I have short legs and they are just about the right crop length on me and they sit low, below my belly.

I also hit some really good sales before Memorial Day at The Legends. I got three of these J Crew Factory cap-sleeve blouses, 2 in medium and 1 in large. They are the kind of shirt that will make you look kind of pregnant in regular life, but just keep people guessing if you really are pregnant. The medium ones are now a bit short, but I can get a little more wear out of the large one. Cute with the Jackie cardigan, too, for work.

Old Navy has also been a good source of inexpensive items for me. I've ordered a few cute maternity things, but still find that a lot of their regular skirts work. This one has a nice elastic band so you can have it sit lower on your waist, below your belly.

For me, this is the best Old Navy skirt so far. I don't really even know how non-preggos can wear it because it fits weird, but it's perfect for me. Sits nice and low with an elastic back.

I guess I was in a chambray mood the day I shopped, but got all of these on a good sale. This skirt is a little less forgiving, but still has an elastic back and sits low on your waist.

Generally, I like to find dresses for work because I don't need as many pieces to get dressed, but it's surprisingly hard to find work-appropriate dresses that have sleeves and are still pretty casual. I have an old one from Lands End that works great with a belt - it's just a straight shift kind of dress. 

I also ordered a few of the Gap essential v-neck t-shirts before I was pregnant in size large and they have always been a bit big and long for regular wear, but now work perfectly. (In contrast, my absolute favorite v-neck t-shirt is the Gap Factory version, which is thinner and cut slimmer, though now getting tight). 

Sadly, my favorite jeans crapped out and got a big hole in the butt at about 8 weeks pregnant, so I really don't have any jeans to wear, but it's getting hot enough that I don't want to anyway. 

Any good tips / pieces I'm missing? Send them my way!

'tis the Season

Did you hear .... it's summer! 

We have yet to get to the pool, or plan any swim lessons, but we are regularly slathering the girl up in sunscreen before school. I think she plays outside from dawn till dusk and, despite our best efforts, already has tan arms and legs. 

We are still using the SuperGoop sunscreen swipes and loving them. We also like some of their stick and lotion products. 

I came across this interesting graphic on sunscreen and protection factors and such - take a look. I know I never put enough sunscreen on, and I thought the tip about using 2-finger's worth and dividing your body in zones was a good one. 

The Sunscreen Smokescreen

Only if you're doing it right

I know I've mentioned the Dinner: A Love Story blog many times before, but it remains one of my very favorites. I have tried, and had success with, many of their recipes. I love their philosophy on family dinner. They have great book recommendations for kids. They write a column in Bon Appetit! Consider me smitten.

Their book comes out today - you can read more about it here and order through Amazon or Barnes & Noble. (I pre-ordered, thankyouverymuch).

Another blog that I really like, and may or may not have mentioned, is Momfilter. It's updated a few times a week and just has snippets about things you might care about - parties, entertainment, home, food, style - along with some great kid pictures and usually a feature or two about an "interesting" mom. If I'm honest, these features can almost border on making me feel like an inadequate human being, but then they often come around to the point where I can see that these (gorgeous / glamorous / smart) women are just moms like me and have the same issues.

Case in point: Jenny Rosenstrach, the author of Dinner: A Love Story, is the featured mother this week. She has some good ideas, there is a great picture of some hand-drawn recipes inside a cabinet door, and the clincher for me at the end: My daughters are close in age so when they were little I remember turning to my mother-in-law and telling her, “I had no idea how hard this was.” And my mother-in-law said, “Only if you’re doing it right.”

You can read the full story here: We Want to Know More About - Jenny Rosenstrach

Funny for today

This is awesome.

Not awesome, as in, why can't it be me???

But awesome, as in, she lived to tell the tale. Mothers are resourceful, yo. (And, please God, don't let this ever be me. Thanks.)

This is follow-up from Ain't No Mom Jeans' Travel Tips .... the aftermath, if you will.

The One Where I Get a Smack-Down ... On an Airplane

Tips and such

I was at a meeting this week (one of those get-your-child-from-school-shove-food-in-your-faces-thank-your-mother-for-babysitting-and-out-the-door kind of meetings) and the outgoing president of the organization said something that really stuck with me.

To paraphrase, she said "I feel immensely satisfied with this year. I wasn't aiming for perfection - perfect isn't a fair expectation. I was aiming for progress, and I think we accomplished that."

It stuck with me, as a self-proclaimed perfectionist, that YES, IT'S TRUE, "perfect" is rarely ever a fair thing to expect of yourself or others, especially when it comes to child-raising (or just keeping your children alive on any particular day - we've all been there).

As an example, our morning routine after moving Ellen to the big girl bed has been dicey at best. We are trying very hard to enforce the "stay in your room quietly until the cow dances" rule (6:30am), but it isn't really going well. Ells typically wakes up in the late 5's or early 6's to go to the bathroom. I can't deny her that, so I wake up to the pitter patter of her feet racing down the hallway, then she goes potty, puts her diaper in the trash and gets some undies from her room. At that point she is pretty much awake, but we send her back to her room to wait "patiently". Mostly this involves singing and storytelling. She occasionally gets quiet, but today it was a full-on tap show with high heels and dress up clothes. At 6:12am. I blame this behavior on her father, a mostly-earlybird and former childhood "class clown" who believes he spent time with the principal because he was a snappy dresser and fun to be around. You see what I'm up against here?

So, again, the theme for the day is  ... aim for progress. This might involve some kind of personal nightlight / flashlight to encourage reading in bed without turning on every light upstairs. Will keep you posted.

In other news, a couple of things I think you might find interesting if you are reading on the beach or at the lake this holiday weekend, you lucky dog:

Ain't No Mom Jeans: Ten Tips for Flying Alone with Kids - now, if I could just get a vacation, we would be set.

Momastery: Whack-A-Mole - I don't read this blog often, but a few of her posts have gone kind of viral and a friend posted this on facebook. A funny, perfect, description of bedtime.

And, finally, in this graduation season - David Foster Wallace's Commencement Speech from Kenyon College in 2005. I don't think I am smart enough or cool enough to really "get" David Foster Wallace. I tried to read Confederacy of Dunces and then didn't finish. Not even close. There used to be a time in my life when I felt more comfortable analyzing literature and the arts, but this ain't that time. Nonetheless, I came across this in 2008 when the author died and thought it was worth reading. Maybe you will, too.

Worth reading

Hey! Guys! I finally read a BOOK! And, it didn't even have pictures!

I've discovered my problem with reading is that I just add it on to the end of my day, after doing all the other things I want / need to do. So - I get in bed and ponder "read" vs. "sleep" and sleep almost always wins. If I would just read at another point in the day, I think I could fix this problem. Alas, baby steps.

A friend gifted me with The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I know I'm late to the game on this one, and I've always wanted to read it, but again I have my internal debate of "read about a dying father" vs. "sleep" and I think you can guess what happens.

I finally bit the bullet this week and was so glad I did. Yes, there were parts that made me sob (get your kleenex), but there were also funny parts and aha! parts. I generally cry at the drop of a hat, but now that I work with a lot of young people with cancer, these kinds of stories are more personally touching to me and I feel it's a more important perspective for me to have.

I certainly can't eloquently summarize the book, but I think one of the main points is to either Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Dying. He talks about the inspirations in his life - his wonderful parents, great coaches and teachers - and it was a nice reminder to cultivate those same things in your own child's life. I was also so touched by the tangible memories he left for his children in the form of notes and letters and stories and experiences. I sincerely, truthfully, honestly hope that no one I love finds themselves in a similar situation, but also - what are we waiting for? It shouldn't take a terminal diagnosis of cancer to make great memories for your children. His kids were so young, but I think every child would love to have snapshots of their childhood and funny stories, even if they have the gift of their parents to a ripe old age. For example, he wrote that Diane Sawyer suggested that he write letters to his children describing the very unique, funny things he loved about them ... not just the first steps, first tooth, but the funny crease over their nose when they laughed, or a funny joke they liked to tell, or whatever the case may be.

Take the time, don't put on any mascara, and give it a read. I think you'll be happy you did.

Mothering

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day. Our day was typical / simple, which was just right. I find that the older I get, the more perspective I have on Mother's Day as something more than an occasion for brunch and cards. I feel profoundly grateful to have the opportunity to mother my own child, and so lucky to have my mother and mother-in-law in my life. Erik and I were raised by strong, loving mothers and I am surrounded by friends who are amazing mothers. If I can take a bit of that and pass it on to Ellen, I will feel successful in this very hard and immensely important job.

I had the "opportunity" to do a lot of mothering yesterday. Ellen was up late, having a marvelous time, at a party on Saturday night and my experience predicted we would pay for it for day(s). She had a mediocre quiet time, but seemed to rally and was cuddling on the couch with me just moments before spitting in my face and wrestling me like Hulk Hogan. She was un-containable, un-consolable, un-happy. I knew she was just plain exhausted and it took every ounce of my being to try to get her to calm down.

She finally - for one of the few times in her life - just said, "I'm so tired!". And, of course, she was far beyond the point of falling asleep on her own and just begged me to help her, help her, help her fall asleep. I laid with her and scratched her back "under" (under her shirt), and scratched her head "not there, all over", and patted her back "like this, harder". She drifted off to sleep probably 8 times, then woke every time I inched out of her bed and pleaded with me again. She finally feel asleep and was an improved version of her 3-year-old self upon waking.

I felt needed, as though it was a job only I could do at that moment, and I strained to see the beauty of the moment through my tired eyes and exasperation. She is increasingly independent, in ways that are wonderful to watch, but it's nice to be reminded that she is my baby, and always will be, no matter how big she gets.

Toy overload

Again, from A Cup of Jo today, a topic I've been pondering - how to best deal with TOYS.

Motherhood Mondays: The Great Toy Experiment

I've read some similar ideas here and there over the last few weeks, then really started considering what to do with the overflowing toys because we are having 20-ish small children to our house this weekend. EEKS! I need to do a lot of cleaning, and removing of choking hazards, and then have a discussion with Ellen about what is fair-game and what she wants to put away. I was considering putting quite a bit of it away and not getting it back out?

We are fortunate in our new house to have a lot of storage space, so I feel much less that I am being swallowed by her things, mostly because I don't have to look at them all the time. Still, though, she has far too many toys, some of which rarely get played with. My approach generally is to have everything put away every night before bed. I've noticed if things are left on the floor or in piles, she'll just walk right past them the next day to get to something else. When Ellen plays with Erik, I'll often come home to a room full of things strewn all over the place. I know she has had an excellent time, but I also know that she won't pick up any of those items again to play with - she'll go and get something new.

Her favorite things to do these days are color, make piles of hoarded items, and occasionally play in kitchen or vet. That's about it. That also leaves about 89 toys in her play room  and big girl room that languish on the shelves.

How do you deal with this?