In a mere 11 years ...

I know I've posted things before about the challenges of raising girls. Since I don't have a boy, I really can't comment on that, but it sure seems to me that there are special challenges we face raising girls. Maybe not now so much, but it's the future that scares the bejeezus out of me. The Huz says it all the time, too ... he sees little teenage girls shopping, or playing grab-ass with the young Bieber-ish kid, and he just shakes his head and mumbles.

I've also posted things from Clover Lane before. She is the mother of 5 kids (4 boys) and I like a lot of what she says about common sense parenting. Her post this week: What About Our Girls? Childhood Cut Short really made sense to me.

I agree that you can't raise your child in a bubble, but I also think it is true that the parents in your community influence how you parent your child, whether you like it (or admit it) or not. You can make the rules for your child, but if your child's 10 friends follow another rule, you might have a battle on your hands. Fight one battle? Sure. Fight 100? That will wear you down.

Up until now, Ellen's friends have been the children of our friends. Obviously, we like their parents and they probably have a similar parenting philosophy to us, but this means we have been choosing Ellen's friends. I think we are starting to get to the stage of playing with friends from school that SHE chooses. This is fun to see, but I suppose it also means the start of that parenting-play date dance. One of our friends said something a few months ago that rang true - when your child starts kindergarten, the other classroom parents will become part of your social circle for the next 13ish years, whether you like it or not.

Choose wisely. :)

For or against?

We are having a party at our house this weekend and a couple of issues have come up ... let's take a poll!

1. Are you for or against plastic playground equipment in your backyard?

I'm not really talking about big swing sets because, a) sometimes you inherit one in a move, or b) they are a much longer term investment. Rather, I'm talking about the plastic forts / slides / playhouses.

I was initially against them and classified them in the 'unnecessary kid gear' category. It seemed to be one of those things you could drop $75-100 on and not get your money's worth. Then, our Girl developed an obsession with slides and thoroughly enjoys the small plastic slides at school and Grammy's house.

Does the novelty wear off if it's in your own back yard? Is it a god-send for play date entertainment?

2. Do you like to attend parties with or without your kids?

We've had a Cinco de Mayo party for several years running. Last year, with a 5-month-old, the party turned into a family affair and our friends were invited to bring their kids. It was a lot of fun and a lot of craziness!

My rationale FOR bringing kids: a) I like to see our friends and I don't want them to have to pay for a sitter to come to our party, and b) It's fun to see all the kids together because it doesn't happen very often.

Now, I'm wondering ... would it be a lot more fun / relaxing to NOT bring kids? Not from my planning standpoint, but from a guest-enjoyment-perspective. Maybe parents are looking for opportunities to get out of the house without their kids? (I know I do sometimes).

What's your vote?

Safety First

Not much to report on week 21. I learn more and more about our Girl's personality every day, but can't say that I have had any "aha! moments".

So ... a random, but hopefully useful topic.

I have (rather atypically) found myself having several conversations about guns in the last week or so. We don't own a gun and there will never be a gun in our home. As part of these conversations, I have repeatedly pointed out to my family members that I will need to ask other parents about their own gun policies once our Girl starts visiting friends.

Yes, I have time before this becomes an issue. But, you know me, obsess early and often!

I think my approach will be more "let me tell you about our home ... no guns, no pets, no drugs, no smoking, no prescription pain killers, no pool ..." and hope that the other parent follows suit. Our daughter does not attend an in-home daycare, but obviously the same issues apply.

For those of you with older children - how do you deal with this?

Other things I obsess about ...

Registered Sex Offenders in your neighborhood? Family Watchdog lets you search your neighborhood. There are a lot of issues with accurate tracking of registered sex offenders, but at least this is a start.

Infant CPR: We took a class before the Girl was born and it was terrifying and helpful. I keep the little cheat sheet on our refrigerator and should review it more often than I do. Ideally, all grandparents, aunts, uncles and caregivers should also have taken a CPR class. Check out your local Red Cross for more information.

Car Seat Installation: Something ridiculous like 85% of car seats are used incorrectly. This is so, so important. Our local police department does it for free (and my husband almost missed the birth of our child because the seat was being installed!). You can check Seatcheck.org for local sites. Even more importantly, make sure you understand how to install it on your own if the car seat will be taken in and out of the car.

Some Safety Sites ...
Check out Hip Monkey if you are planning to purchase a car seat or stroller (or other baby gear). They donate all proceeds from sales to a non-profit organization that provides safe car seats to kids in need. They offer free shipping on orders over $99 and no sales tax and sell only the safest models.

Choking Hazards: I'm becoming more and more aware of this and will have to be especially vigilant once the Girl becomes mobile. In planning a get together for young kids of all ages, I realized that I don't know what toys and games are really appropriate for a mixed crowd, so I'll go with the safest option - no parts smaller than your head! (Seriously, though, I think a good rule of thumb is anything that can fit through a toilet paper roll is a choking hazard.)

Recalls: It seems like items are recalled every day. While they are often publicized on TV or in the paper, they are easy to miss. Be sure to fill out the registration papers that come with your baby furniture or any big toys - they can notify you of recalls that way. I also find these Baby Bargains blogs to be useful (Book Blog, Baby 411)

Be careful out there!