In the paid job that I do 3 days a week (otherwise known as Keeping My Sanity), the concept of "anticipatory guidance" is something we use quite a bit. Basically, helping families think and talk through what they might expect in the near and far future as related to the health of their loved ones.
I have modified this for use at home, too.
Girly is quite verbal for her age and I've learned that she understands far more than I might have thought, and picks up on random pieces of conversations and pulls remote bits of information from her memory bank at the strangest of times. I think she has reached the developmental point where she understands more "If-Then" concepts, and has a basic understanding of time (yesterday / today / tomorrow). If we have something on the calendar that is a little out of our normal routine, I try to talk with her about it in advance to hopefully ease the transition.
So ... cue her first haircut!
I know first haircuts can be quite the tantrum-fest and, since we waited almost 2 years, I wasn't sure if it would be better or worse than average. I looked on YouTube for "sesame street + haircut" and found an old clip of Cookie Monster singing a song about haircuts. It is totally out of the 80's, and not that good honestly, but she asked to watch it over and over. We talked a lot about what happens when you get your haircut: special cape, spray bottle, comb, scissors ... all the while encouraging nice and sweet behavior, of course!
I think there are Sesame Street videos on an infinite number of topics. Or, if screen time isn't your thing, there are certainly books that address a lot of the same things, you just have to be organized enough to get to the bookstore, which I clearly am not.
The holidays are a great time for this, too. It is really fun to watch Girly get into the idea of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, though it is so hard to explain why they only last one day!
Showing posts with label 21-24. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 21-24. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Serving size
I've been meaning to post this for awhile now - something I found pretty interesting from our last Parents As Teachers meeting ....
A serving is a level tablespoon for each year of your child's age.
Isn't this less than what you thought? So, for my 2-year-old, just 2 Tbs or 1/8 cup is a serving of whatever she is having.
Here are the guidelines for daily servings:
3 servings protein
4 servings bread / cereal
4 servings fruit / vegetable / both
4 servings milk /dairy
So, if your child subsisted on pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce with an occasional green bean, for the last 4 days like mine did - don't feel so bad!
A serving is a level tablespoon for each year of your child's age.
Isn't this less than what you thought? So, for my 2-year-old, just 2 Tbs or 1/8 cup is a serving of whatever she is having.
Here are the guidelines for daily servings:
3 servings protein
4 servings bread / cereal
4 servings fruit / vegetable / both
4 servings milk /dairy
So, if your child subsisted on pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce with an occasional green bean, for the last 4 days like mine did - don't feel so bad!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Addicted
One of my favorite things I heard this year on NPR was about the power of email. My behavior analyst friend could describe it better, but remember your high school or college psychology class and the discussion about the power of intermittent reinforcement? Email is just that very thing ... the 7th, or 83rd, or 1,217th time you check your email you get that really great email from an old friend, while the rest of it is mostly crap. You keep coming back, though, hoping for that really great one again. (Same thing with blogs, I suppose, which explains why I choose to rot my brain with the internets rather than on Real Housewives of Big Cities).
So, it seems that someone else had the same idea about parenting. Exactly! I was with a group of high school girlfriends the other night and 2/3rds of us were lamenting the challenges of parenthood. One of the child-less among us was appalled and asked why we did such a thing? While it is a fair question I ask myself from time to time, I explained that when you laugh harder with your child than you have in weeks, even in the midst of a day full of battles, it just keeps you coming back for more.
See what you think ...
Slate's article: Parents Are Junkies (If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we are addicted).
So, it seems that someone else had the same idea about parenting. Exactly! I was with a group of high school girlfriends the other night and 2/3rds of us were lamenting the challenges of parenthood. One of the child-less among us was appalled and asked why we did such a thing? While it is a fair question I ask myself from time to time, I explained that when you laugh harder with your child than you have in weeks, even in the midst of a day full of battles, it just keeps you coming back for more.
See what you think ...
Slate's article: Parents Are Junkies (If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we are addicted).
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Jinx
Shhh ... don't tell Girly I'm telling you this ...
It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).
Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.
The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.
I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.
Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....
It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).
Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.
The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.
I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.
Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....
Friday, November 12, 2010
"Strong willed" is saying it nicely
Oh yeah, another tidbit from that blocks class I mentioned.
Girly was a nightmare.
Not a nightmare of the Freddy Krueger variety, but certainly a nightmare on her spectrum of "sweetest/nicest to oh-my-god-who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-kid."
I picked her up from school, came prepared with snacks, and thought she would really enjoy something different. There were about 20 kids between 8 months and 3 years and she was, by far, the most disruptive in the room. Granted, a room full of 20 small tykes and lots of blocks will already be disrupted, but she didn't do anything to help the situation. All of the teachers and parents were understanding of course, but I was caught off-guard by her behavior and challenged to respond appropriately in the moment. We got our first "wow, she is busy" comment, and not really in a nice way. We left 25 minutes into the 90 minute class.
What happened to my sweet girl who sat quietly and observed? Oh yeah, TWO happened.
I know this is par for the course (it is, right?), but I will say that it isn't much fun.
It also taught me an important lesson ... this event was for Girly and I thought she would have fun. She didn't and made that abundantly clear to me. I need to be flexible enough to change plans when the situation isn't working for us. From a Love and Logic perspective, I also feel that if I can learn to respond - calmly - in the moment, and validate Girly's feelings, she will eventually act out less. And, in those situations where we can't be flexible, she will eventually be more willing to comply because she knows that I listen to what she is telling me.
I think that's how it might work, anyway - but what do I know? Wishful thinking, I tell you ...
Girly was a nightmare.
Not a nightmare of the Freddy Krueger variety, but certainly a nightmare on her spectrum of "sweetest/nicest to oh-my-god-who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-kid."
I picked her up from school, came prepared with snacks, and thought she would really enjoy something different. There were about 20 kids between 8 months and 3 years and she was, by far, the most disruptive in the room. Granted, a room full of 20 small tykes and lots of blocks will already be disrupted, but she didn't do anything to help the situation. All of the teachers and parents were understanding of course, but I was caught off-guard by her behavior and challenged to respond appropriately in the moment. We got our first "wow, she is busy" comment, and not really in a nice way. We left 25 minutes into the 90 minute class.
What happened to my sweet girl who sat quietly and observed? Oh yeah, TWO happened.
I know this is par for the course (it is, right?), but I will say that it isn't much fun.
It also taught me an important lesson ... this event was for Girly and I thought she would have fun. She didn't and made that abundantly clear to me. I need to be flexible enough to change plans when the situation isn't working for us. From a Love and Logic perspective, I also feel that if I can learn to respond - calmly - in the moment, and validate Girly's feelings, she will eventually act out less. And, in those situations where we can't be flexible, she will eventually be more willing to comply because she knows that I listen to what she is telling me.
I think that's how it might work, anyway - but what do I know? Wishful thinking, I tell you ...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I'm sold
Are you reading Ain't No Mom Jeans? I've posted about them before, but just in case ... you really should head over there now.
It's not that I care so much about what I look like - my style (style? do I have a style?) is simple, affordable and comfortable. I am far from the trendiest person on the block. I wear mostly plain colored clothes and few patterns (as my good friend says, curly hair is kind of enough pattern on its own!). Finally, at age 32, I am getting better at realizing that I should never buy turtlenecks or crewneck shirts. The issue I have is that the post-pregnancy body is harder to dress, at least for me. Do you have that squishy stuff around your waist that looks bad under fitted shirts? Blech.
So, this brings me to my new style secret - wear a belt. Around your waist. Lots of the time. I had seen this accessory all over the place, and was slow to adopt it, and then Ain't No Mom Jeans cemented it for me.
A fitted shirt with a long boyfriend sweater looks kind of shlumpy on me. But - add a skinny belt around the sweater? Defines the waist just enough, while said sweater still hides the squishy stuff.
A peasant shirt with jeans? Thanks, but having a friends' father ask when the baby was due - months before I got pregnant - was one time too many for me. The belt preserves the best aspect of the flowy shirt (camouflage!) while still showing that you have a waist.
I am really liking the skinny belts from J. Crew this fall - they have great colors and metallics and you can usually find some on sale. I am terrible about accessorizing with jewelry, so a silver belt does double duty for me. I wish I could say that Target had belts that were just as cute, but it sadly isn't true.
Give it a shot - your waist will thank you!
It's not that I care so much about what I look like - my style (style? do I have a style?) is simple, affordable and comfortable. I am far from the trendiest person on the block. I wear mostly plain colored clothes and few patterns (as my good friend says, curly hair is kind of enough pattern on its own!). Finally, at age 32, I am getting better at realizing that I should never buy turtlenecks or crewneck shirts. The issue I have is that the post-pregnancy body is harder to dress, at least for me. Do you have that squishy stuff around your waist that looks bad under fitted shirts? Blech.
So, this brings me to my new style secret - wear a belt. Around your waist. Lots of the time. I had seen this accessory all over the place, and was slow to adopt it, and then Ain't No Mom Jeans cemented it for me.
A fitted shirt with a long boyfriend sweater looks kind of shlumpy on me. But - add a skinny belt around the sweater? Defines the waist just enough, while said sweater still hides the squishy stuff.
A peasant shirt with jeans? Thanks, but having a friends' father ask when the baby was due - months before I got pregnant - was one time too many for me. The belt preserves the best aspect of the flowy shirt (camouflage!) while still showing that you have a waist.
I am really liking the skinny belts from J. Crew this fall - they have great colors and metallics and you can usually find some on sale. I am terrible about accessorizing with jewelry, so a silver belt does double duty for me. I wish I could say that Target had belts that were just as cute, but it sadly isn't true.
Give it a shot - your waist will thank you!
Monday, November 8, 2010
A-ha moment!
Our Parents as Teachers educator came for our 22-month visit and she gave us a flier on an upcoming class about block-building. She mentioned that Americans focus primarily on reading and music skills in early childhood, while many Asians focus primarily on math and science skills in early childhood. I had never heard anyone phrase it this way, but it was a total light bulb moment for me!
Think about it ... what activities are aimed at young children? Music classes and reading time at the library. We have gajillions of books and Girly loves reading them, which I obviously encourage. She loves playing with musical instruments and listening to music. I think these are important skills, but I wish I could say that I put an equal emphasis on math and science skills, but I don't and I bet you don't either.
Playing with blocks is a good way to build understanding of math and science concepts - they say it helps develop numeracy (the understanding of numbers in everyday life), just like literacy is the understanding of letters and words. You probably already use a lot of math and science words in your normal play with your kiddo, but I've never focused on them.
Math words: long, tall, narrow, order, top, square, less, more, curve, add, count, outside, triangle, lines, patterns, big, little, rectangle ...
Science words: rough, smooth, smallest, heavy, whole, bigger, after, first, next, balance, light, weight, gravity, system ....
Don't underestimate your child's ability to learn these concepts!
Think about it ... what activities are aimed at young children? Music classes and reading time at the library. We have gajillions of books and Girly loves reading them, which I obviously encourage. She loves playing with musical instruments and listening to music. I think these are important skills, but I wish I could say that I put an equal emphasis on math and science skills, but I don't and I bet you don't either.
Playing with blocks is a good way to build understanding of math and science concepts - they say it helps develop numeracy (the understanding of numbers in everyday life), just like literacy is the understanding of letters and words. You probably already use a lot of math and science words in your normal play with your kiddo, but I've never focused on them.
Math words: long, tall, narrow, order, top, square, less, more, curve, add, count, outside, triangle, lines, patterns, big, little, rectangle ...
Science words: rough, smooth, smallest, heavy, whole, bigger, after, first, next, balance, light, weight, gravity, system ....
Don't underestimate your child's ability to learn these concepts!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Pseudo slacker
Last week for Girly's Halloween party at school, I signed up to bring tablecloths. Then, I felt bad and agreed to bring cheese and crackers, too. Sure, it was participation, but I have unreasonable Martha-goals for myself and feel guilty when I don't make something from scratch.
So, in a moment of inspiration, I realized that I had tiny "fall" cookie cutters in my drawer for lord knows what reason. I think I got them at Michael's in the $1 bin several years ago and they have never been used, other than thrown around the kitchen by Girly. I just cut the slices of cheese into fun pumpkin, bat and moon shapes and slapped it on a paper plate. It was fun, kid-friendly, and looked like I made an effort. In other words, score, score, SCORE.
I think I had the popular bento-style lunches in the back of my brain somewhere. Have you seen those? Another Lunch is a great blog with totally cute ideas. I would love to make and receive a lunch like that - but - let's be honest. Who the hell has time? If that was part of the daily program at our house, it would look more like me running around at 6:55am, trying to make coffee and peel a banana, and searching for the freaking bunny toothpicks.
So, again, in other words - not going to happen.
So, in a moment of inspiration, I realized that I had tiny "fall" cookie cutters in my drawer for lord knows what reason. I think I got them at Michael's in the $1 bin several years ago and they have never been used, other than thrown around the kitchen by Girly. I just cut the slices of cheese into fun pumpkin, bat and moon shapes and slapped it on a paper plate. It was fun, kid-friendly, and looked like I made an effort. In other words, score, score, SCORE.
I think I had the popular bento-style lunches in the back of my brain somewhere. Have you seen those? Another Lunch is a great blog with totally cute ideas. I would love to make and receive a lunch like that - but - let's be honest. Who the hell has time? If that was part of the daily program at our house, it would look more like me running around at 6:55am, trying to make coffee and peel a banana, and searching for the freaking bunny toothpicks.
So, again, in other words - not going to happen.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Remove the offender
We spent most of our weekend locked in a battle of wills over picking up.
Girly has reached the age where she is certainly capable of picking up her toys. She used to do it with pleasure, but as 2 approaches, she uses it as a stall tactic or to annoy her mother. She spent a lot of time in the time-out corner, then finally asked to spend time there. She willfully pushed her toys or magnets or noodles into a pile, as if she was going to pick them up, then kicked them all over the place. Exasperating, FOR SURE, and did not bring out the best in me.
I am trying to work hard on curtailing the whining - by ignoring her - but there are only so many things I can ignore and only so many threats I can issue. (I try very hard to 'threaten' with only the things I am willing to follow-through on. So, "if you ever want to eat again you better pick up!" is not a very good threat.)
I finally realized the problem - I need to remove the offending item. There are certain items in our house that are guaranteed triggers of bad behavior (like alcohol for alcoholics and drugs for crackheads - she is addicted to mess). She used to love to pour noodles from bowl to bowl - now they are shrapnel in our kitchen. She loved to play with magnets on the refrigerator - I saved all the sports schedules that came in the mail - and now she yields them as swords. Little General Custer and I had our Last Stand over the linoleum floor many a time this weekend.
No more.
You won't pick up your noodles after countless time-outs and threats? Fine. I'll sweep them up and throw them away.
You won't pick up your magnets without collapsing to the floor in melodramatic fashion? Fine. I'll throw them away.
It won't work for everything ... the Love and Logic folks say not to threaten to throw away toys unless you are really willing to throw them away forever ... but it will help limit the battles, I think.
Or, if I'm really honest with myself, the battle will just move to another item. Items.
Sigh ...
Girly has reached the age where she is certainly capable of picking up her toys. She used to do it with pleasure, but as 2 approaches, she uses it as a stall tactic or to annoy her mother. She spent a lot of time in the time-out corner, then finally asked to spend time there. She willfully pushed her toys or magnets or noodles into a pile, as if she was going to pick them up, then kicked them all over the place. Exasperating, FOR SURE, and did not bring out the best in me.
I am trying to work hard on curtailing the whining - by ignoring her - but there are only so many things I can ignore and only so many threats I can issue. (I try very hard to 'threaten' with only the things I am willing to follow-through on. So, "if you ever want to eat again you better pick up!" is not a very good threat.)
I finally realized the problem - I need to remove the offending item. There are certain items in our house that are guaranteed triggers of bad behavior (like alcohol for alcoholics and drugs for crackheads - she is addicted to mess). She used to love to pour noodles from bowl to bowl - now they are shrapnel in our kitchen. She loved to play with magnets on the refrigerator - I saved all the sports schedules that came in the mail - and now she yields them as swords. Little General Custer and I had our Last Stand over the linoleum floor many a time this weekend.
No more.
You won't pick up your noodles after countless time-outs and threats? Fine. I'll sweep them up and throw them away.
You won't pick up your magnets without collapsing to the floor in melodramatic fashion? Fine. I'll throw them away.
It won't work for everything ... the Love and Logic folks say not to threaten to throw away toys unless you are really willing to throw them away forever ... but it will help limit the battles, I think.
Or, if I'm really honest with myself, the battle will just move to another item. Items.
Sigh ...
Friday, October 29, 2010
Pardon the interruption
Between a vacation, a post-vacation stomach bug (not the detox I was looking for), sewing a Halloween costume, and cutting toddler fingernails that had somehow become claws, this Mama is BEAT DOWN.
See you back here soon ....
See you back here soon ....
Friday, October 22, 2010
Yes or No?
I followed the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog pretty closely when Girly was a bitty babe - very helpful to me with all of the sleeping, eating, sleeping and sleeping some more. I haven't read any of the Babywise books after the newborn one, so I don't read her as closely anymore, but I do check in from time to time.
I thought this post was a good cosmic reminder for me to LOOSEN UP!!
Yes When You Can, No When You Must
I thought this post was a good cosmic reminder for me to LOOSEN UP!!
Yes When You Can, No When You Must
Monday, October 18, 2010
Canines
Dear Tooth Fairy,
You may be pretty and you may bring gifts, but I am no fan of yours. This latest round of teeth is a doozey - are you going to pay extra for these when they fall out?
Sincerely,
Mama with drool handprints on all of her things
I thought our girl had a rough time with teething in the past, but it has been nothing compared to this latest round. Her upper canines are for sure coming in, with some more on the bottom just erupting and I think maybe some more molars? All I know is that Girly constantly has her hands in her mouth (practically shoved down her throat) and drools all over the place. And has been doing it for 2+ weeks now.
Poor thing has been waking up early screaming, which has negated some of the cow-is-dancing training that we had going. I give her Motrin in the 4's or 5's and then she will go back to sleep until the cow is awake. :)
Early mornings aren't so rare around here, but she started a new thing of screaming at bedtime for 30 minutes to 1 hour. It partly coincided with my vacation out of town, but I think also had something to do with her teeth. I tried the cry-it-out, but it was just pitiful. I finally gave her a frozen washcloth at bedtime to chew on (our go-to teething aide) and she went down without a peep. Hallelujah.
I've also started a countdown at bedtime that seems to eliminate some of our power struggles (just with me, mind you - that mother/daughter thing starts early). We rock in the chair with her blanket and I tell her we'll rock until I count to 10. Then, I lay her in bed and she asks me to scratch her back (skatch da back!!) - I tell her that I will scratch her back until I count to 5, then it is time to close her eyes and go to sleep.
I like this cuddle time and it it sweet to see her ask for it, but all of these sweet things add on top of each other until our 'brief' bedtime routine lasts 30 minutes. Not exactly what I am looking for when mama still has to make dinner ...
You may be pretty and you may bring gifts, but I am no fan of yours. This latest round of teeth is a doozey - are you going to pay extra for these when they fall out?
Sincerely,
Mama with drool handprints on all of her things
I thought our girl had a rough time with teething in the past, but it has been nothing compared to this latest round. Her upper canines are for sure coming in, with some more on the bottom just erupting and I think maybe some more molars? All I know is that Girly constantly has her hands in her mouth (practically shoved down her throat) and drools all over the place. And has been doing it for 2+ weeks now.
Poor thing has been waking up early screaming, which has negated some of the cow-is-dancing training that we had going. I give her Motrin in the 4's or 5's and then she will go back to sleep until the cow is awake. :)
Early mornings aren't so rare around here, but she started a new thing of screaming at bedtime for 30 minutes to 1 hour. It partly coincided with my vacation out of town, but I think also had something to do with her teeth. I tried the cry-it-out, but it was just pitiful. I finally gave her a frozen washcloth at bedtime to chew on (our go-to teething aide) and she went down without a peep. Hallelujah.
I've also started a countdown at bedtime that seems to eliminate some of our power struggles (just with me, mind you - that mother/daughter thing starts early). We rock in the chair with her blanket and I tell her we'll rock until I count to 10. Then, I lay her in bed and she asks me to scratch her back (skatch da back!!) - I tell her that I will scratch her back until I count to 5, then it is time to close her eyes and go to sleep.
I like this cuddle time and it it sweet to see her ask for it, but all of these sweet things add on top of each other until our 'brief' bedtime routine lasts 30 minutes. Not exactly what I am looking for when mama still has to make dinner ...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday Funnies, take two
Yes, I'm kind of dialing it in this week. Sorry 'bout that.
Just came across this tonight ... is it bad karma to laugh at this?
Shit My Kids Ruined
And, really, poop gloves? So help me ....
Just came across this tonight ... is it bad karma to laugh at this?
Shit My Kids Ruined
And, really, poop gloves? So help me ....
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
R & R
Rest.
Relaxation.
Does any of that exist in parenting?
I will say that I had a little dose this weekend and it was heavenly. Heavenly.
Here is my prescription for you:
Make plans for a girlfriend get-away with your best buddies. Ours happened to be hours (by plane!) away from home, but I think you could do it in your very own neighborhood. Send your spouse and kid(s) away, have the girls over, break out the snacks and adult beverages and enjoy yourself! Sleep in! Don't make 6 meals a day unless they are for yourself! You can do it!
Here is my second prescription, and one that I need to follow myself:
Set up a regular date night with your spouse. Two of my girlfriends started to do this regularly on Sundays nights after their 2nd child was born. I wish we had date night more often, and I'm sure I'll really long for it if a second child ever comes to live in our house. You must make it a habit - put the kids down (or not), go to dinner and try hard to talk about things other than naps, daycare and bills.
It's good for everyone's soul.
Relaxation.
Does any of that exist in parenting?
I will say that I had a little dose this weekend and it was heavenly. Heavenly.
Here is my prescription for you:
Make plans for a girlfriend get-away with your best buddies. Ours happened to be hours (by plane!) away from home, but I think you could do it in your very own neighborhood. Send your spouse and kid(s) away, have the girls over, break out the snacks and adult beverages and enjoy yourself! Sleep in! Don't make 6 meals a day unless they are for yourself! You can do it!
Here is my second prescription, and one that I need to follow myself:
Set up a regular date night with your spouse. Two of my girlfriends started to do this regularly on Sundays nights after their 2nd child was born. I wish we had date night more often, and I'm sure I'll really long for it if a second child ever comes to live in our house. You must make it a habit - put the kids down (or not), go to dinner and try hard to talk about things other than naps, daycare and bills.
It's good for everyone's soul.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Take two
I read this article a while ago and thought it was pretty thought provoking. I planned to try to write something insightful to go along with it. Whether I'm ever insightful is debatable, but today? Not a chance.
So. Here's where I am:
The thought of a 2nd child is pure craziness.
This doesn't help.
All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting
post at Rookie Moms (read their take on it, too)
Discuss.
So. Here's where I am:
The thought of a 2nd child is pure craziness.
This doesn't help.
All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting
post at Rookie Moms (read their take on it, too)
Discuss.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Reading labels
Ahhh, yes, the crazy continues.
Do you pay attention to the parabens, phthalates, sulfates and other -ates in the myriad of products in your bathroom? I swear, I'm just now getting a handle on the food in our house and the sunscreen we use, and now I feel the need to tackle every other product in our house.
I don't know where I picked up the bug, but it seems there has been an article in every magazine that has entered our house in the last few months about the dangers of lurking chemicals. I have paid pretty close attention to the products we use for Girly, but you will be surprised by the 'dangerous' chemicals that are in a lot of those products if you read carefully. Just because it looks healthy or natural doesn't mean it is. I haven't thought much about what the adults in this house use, which is kind of silly. If I care about one of us, I should care about all of us.
There is certainly a lot of debate about whether these things are actually dangerous or not. I guess I am choosing to err on the side of caution ... if I can find a product that is equally good without them, why not use it?
Therein lies the problem, though, because it can be a big challenge to actually find a product that you like equally as well. I have searched a lot on the Cosmetic Safety Database, which seems to be a good resource, but it can be a challenge to find a lot of their highest rated products without going to the ends of the earth or spending my whole paycheck on internet shipping.
This is a (seemingly) balanced article from Real Simple: What are parabens and do I need to worry about them? I think it makes sense to take a logical approach to changing your products. Start with the products you use the most (hand soap, body soap, shampoo/conditioner, lotion) and those that cover a large percentage of your skin.
I've just been replacing products when they run out with a 'better' option. It seems wasteful to run out and replace everything all at once. I'm also pretty budget conscious, which can be challenging because many of these products are $pricey$. So far, I am liking the Kiss My Face lotion and Whole Foods 365 mint shampoo and conditioner. Surprisingly, Costco also has a citrus bodywash and shampoo and conditioner that are paraben and phthalate free. I really like the California Baby stuff for Girly, but Johnson and Johnson just came out with a Natural option that looks promising. I had already been using an Arbonne skin care system, which is also free of a lot of the nastiness. Sadly, our beloved Cetaphil does have some of the nastiness, which is just sad because that is a good product that is hard to replace.
I haven't tackled shaving cream yet, or make-up or hair products. You curly-haired girls know what I am talking about - it is quite the gamble to switch up the products and I hate to spend money on something that might not work. Baby steps ....
What are the good products you use?
Do you pay attention to the parabens, phthalates, sulfates and other -ates in the myriad of products in your bathroom? I swear, I'm just now getting a handle on the food in our house and the sunscreen we use, and now I feel the need to tackle every other product in our house.
I don't know where I picked up the bug, but it seems there has been an article in every magazine that has entered our house in the last few months about the dangers of lurking chemicals. I have paid pretty close attention to the products we use for Girly, but you will be surprised by the 'dangerous' chemicals that are in a lot of those products if you read carefully. Just because it looks healthy or natural doesn't mean it is. I haven't thought much about what the adults in this house use, which is kind of silly. If I care about one of us, I should care about all of us.
There is certainly a lot of debate about whether these things are actually dangerous or not. I guess I am choosing to err on the side of caution ... if I can find a product that is equally good without them, why not use it?
Therein lies the problem, though, because it can be a big challenge to actually find a product that you like equally as well. I have searched a lot on the Cosmetic Safety Database, which seems to be a good resource, but it can be a challenge to find a lot of their highest rated products without going to the ends of the earth or spending my whole paycheck on internet shipping.
This is a (seemingly) balanced article from Real Simple: What are parabens and do I need to worry about them? I think it makes sense to take a logical approach to changing your products. Start with the products you use the most (hand soap, body soap, shampoo/conditioner, lotion) and those that cover a large percentage of your skin.
I've just been replacing products when they run out with a 'better' option. It seems wasteful to run out and replace everything all at once. I'm also pretty budget conscious, which can be challenging because many of these products are $pricey$. So far, I am liking the Kiss My Face lotion and Whole Foods 365 mint shampoo and conditioner. Surprisingly, Costco also has a citrus bodywash and shampoo and conditioner that are paraben and phthalate free. I really like the California Baby stuff for Girly, but Johnson and Johnson just came out with a Natural option that looks promising. I had already been using an Arbonne skin care system, which is also free of a lot of the nastiness. Sadly, our beloved Cetaphil does have some of the nastiness, which is just sad because that is a good product that is hard to replace.
I haven't tackled shaving cream yet, or make-up or hair products. You curly-haired girls know what I am talking about - it is quite the gamble to switch up the products and I hate to spend money on something that might not work. Baby steps ....
What are the good products you use?
Monday, September 27, 2010
How do you do it?
I have finally come around to the idea that exercise should be, and needs to be, a more regular part of my life. The problem, though, is trying to figure out how to fit it into my day.
Except for an ill-conceived attempt at cross country running my freshman year in high school, I do not participate in sports. I am not athletic. I do not run. I do like to walk, but generally outside and not on the treadmill (which lives in our basement. Yes. I am lazy).
I am, however, exceptionally good at making excuses:
1. I don't like to walk unless the weather is nice.
2. I don't like to walk if it will mess up Girly's nap schedule. (Not so much an issue now, but used to be).
3. I don't want to have to pay someone to exercise.
4. I am not willing to give up my 1 hour of alone time during naps and devote it to exercise.
5. I can't workout in the mornings - I leave for work by 700am and we have already discussed my pure hatred for mornings that start in the 5's.
6. I could workout at night, but only after I cook dinner? Well, then, that interferes with my daily glass of wine.
See? I am a whiner.
I feel very fortunate that most of the baby weight from #1 came off with relative ease. (I don't know if breastfeeding was always easy, but I do give it credit for helping with those pounds.) Slowly, though, I think some of those pounds have crept back. I find myself saying ridiculous things like, "Oh, well. I'll just have another kid anyway - what is the point of trying to lose the weight?" Well, here is the point: we are entering Fall and when your clothes don't fit from last Fall, that feels crappy. And, should we decide to have another and I start a pregnancy weighing quite a bit more than last time? I'm sure I'll really feel excellent about myself 40 weeks later and 40 (more) pounds heavier.
So, my current approach is to try to really devote 30 minutes each day (or most days of the week) to an exercise video on TV. Girly can run around while I'm doing it and I can generally keep her out of mischief, or at least hear what kind of mischief she is getting into.
How do you fit exercise into your day / week?
Except for an ill-conceived attempt at cross country running my freshman year in high school, I do not participate in sports. I am not athletic. I do not run. I do like to walk, but generally outside and not on the treadmill (which lives in our basement. Yes. I am lazy).
I am, however, exceptionally good at making excuses:
1. I don't like to walk unless the weather is nice.
2. I don't like to walk if it will mess up Girly's nap schedule. (Not so much an issue now, but used to be).
3. I don't want to have to pay someone to exercise.
4. I am not willing to give up my 1 hour of alone time during naps and devote it to exercise.
5. I can't workout in the mornings - I leave for work by 700am and we have already discussed my pure hatred for mornings that start in the 5's.
6. I could workout at night, but only after I cook dinner? Well, then, that interferes with my daily glass of wine.
See? I am a whiner.
I feel very fortunate that most of the baby weight from #1 came off with relative ease. (I don't know if breastfeeding was always easy, but I do give it credit for helping with those pounds.) Slowly, though, I think some of those pounds have crept back. I find myself saying ridiculous things like, "Oh, well. I'll just have another kid anyway - what is the point of trying to lose the weight?" Well, here is the point: we are entering Fall and when your clothes don't fit from last Fall, that feels crappy. And, should we decide to have another and I start a pregnancy weighing quite a bit more than last time? I'm sure I'll really feel excellent about myself 40 weeks later and 40 (more) pounds heavier.
So, my current approach is to try to really devote 30 minutes each day (or most days of the week) to an exercise video on TV. Girly can run around while I'm doing it and I can generally keep her out of mischief, or at least hear what kind of mischief she is getting into.
How do you fit exercise into your day / week?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The one in which a good idea backfires
I previously mentioned the new use of a basket of toys / books / calculators in Girly's bed. (Calculator, you say? Yes. She's totally a nerd and I'm totally OK with it.)
This has served us well for the past 10 days or so. Surprisingly, she doesn't seem to really use it ... she may pull out a few of the books as she is falling asleep, but otherwise doesn't pay much attention.
That is, until naps this week. Sunday and Monday resulted in totally disrupted naps as she had a grand ol' time playing with all her toys and talk-talk-talking to herself for over an hour. Yes, I had some alone time to eat my lunch and I didn't have to listen to her cry, but the face-slapping, hair-pulling, crumbles-at-the-drop-of-a-book girl we were left with in the late afternoon was So. Not. Worth It.
So - this is apparently a nighttime tool only. Let's see how that goes.
This has served us well for the past 10 days or so. Surprisingly, she doesn't seem to really use it ... she may pull out a few of the books as she is falling asleep, but otherwise doesn't pay much attention.
That is, until naps this week. Sunday and Monday resulted in totally disrupted naps as she had a grand ol' time playing with all her toys and talk-talk-talking to herself for over an hour. Yes, I had some alone time to eat my lunch and I didn't have to listen to her cry, but the face-slapping, hair-pulling, crumbles-at-the-drop-of-a-book girl we were left with in the late afternoon was So. Not. Worth It.
So - this is apparently a nighttime tool only. Let's see how that goes.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sucker
They say one is born every minute, right? I guess I am the one for 8:10pm on the day of my birth in 1977.
I think some of you will feel my pain when I say that getting up at 5:15am for two weeks in a row will inspire you to do crazy things and seek crazy solutions. I mentioned this KID'Sleep alarm clock before and finally found myself desperate enough to order it. Anything with the slightest promise of 10 additional minutes of sleep seems to be worth about $120,000 to me about now.
** I started this post about 10 days ago to keep track of our progress. Progress? Hmmm - you decide. **
It arrived on a Friday (!! happy dance !!) and I put it to the test. Here is the lowdown:
Night/Morning #1: I set the clock, showed Girly the sleeping cow and explained that when the cow was sleeping, she needed to be sleeping. She woke at 5:19am as usual, I went to her room, showed her the sleeping cow and told her to sleep, just like mommy and daddy. Surprisingly, she laid down and was quiet for about 10 minutes. This happened three more times - she cried out, threw all her stuff on the floor, I went in to put it back in her crib and told her to lie down. At 6:03am she was up and I excitedly (this was good acting on my part) showed her the dancing cow and told her it was time to get up.
Aside: Part of the problem with the early waking is that Girly gets up, then poops and then screams out that she is "Poopy! Change diapey!". I feel bad just leaving her there for 30 minutes or more when she is clearly uncomfortable. This was the first night I explained that I would change her diaper and put her back in bed and she was actually OK with it.
Night/Morning #2: Same routine. Girly was excited about the sleeping cow. I decided to put a basket of books and toys in her crib to see if that would improve the throw-crap-out-of-your-crib-until-mommy-gets-it game. She is big time into taking things in and out of baskets. She woke first about 5:20am, I showed her the sleeping cow and laid her down. She was up again about 10 minutes later with a poopy diaper, and same routine. Then, she was quiet until 6:04am when I acted exciting about the dancing cow again. She didn't throw anything out of her crib, so that was a plus.
Morning #3: Could it be this easy? Huz nudged me early in the morning and said, "what time is it?" Ummm ... thanks for waking me up, and it's 6:04am. "Have you heard the Girl?" No. No? NO! She slept until 6:30am which, no joke, is like a frigging miracle.
Morning #4: No, it could not be this easy. Up at 5:22am, showed the sleeping cow and laid her down. Up at 5:53am. I let her cry until about 5:57am, then I went in for a 'teachable moment' (see above re: sucker). I showed her the sleeping cow, again explained that we couldn't get out of bed until the cow was dancing. At 6:00am, when the cow started dancing, I got her out.
Morning #5: I'll take it. Up at 5:02am - see the sleeping cow? - lie down - I'll see you when the cow is dancing. Then, up at 7:03am!!! Love that kid.
Morning #6: Can't remember, but only marginal.
Morning #7: Rated poor to very poor. I have the unfortunate situation of having to get up at 5:15am on Thursdays to leave my house before 6:00am for work. So - Huz was on duty. Girly was up at 5:15am ... when he responded with the cow routine, she was not pleased. I am usually the person that goes in and puts back to sleep and he is the one that gets her up for good. She was probably confused and, well, OOPS on our part. Then, she cried that she was poopy. I changed her and laid her back down. She started crying out that she was poopy again. Crying wolf? (or, is that crying poop?) Huz didn't get her till 6:00am and she really was poopy. Ooops again.
Morning #8: Marginal.
Morning #9: Marginal.
Morning #10: Slept till 6:34am with no waking in the 5's. Happy campers all around! (Well, at least until she skipped her nap that day - can't have it all).
Morning #11: Slept till 6:15am with no mama visit in the 5's. Are we on to something here?
In summary, I do feel that we have made progress. I can't say the progress is entirely due to the clock, but I do honestly feel that it has helped. Plus, the happy "cow dancing!" dance that Girly does when you go in to get her is worth every penny of the $50, and more.
I think some of you will feel my pain when I say that getting up at 5:15am for two weeks in a row will inspire you to do crazy things and seek crazy solutions. I mentioned this KID'Sleep alarm clock before and finally found myself desperate enough to order it. Anything with the slightest promise of 10 additional minutes of sleep seems to be worth about $120,000 to me about now.
** I started this post about 10 days ago to keep track of our progress. Progress? Hmmm - you decide. **
It arrived on a Friday (!! happy dance !!) and I put it to the test. Here is the lowdown:
Night/Morning #1: I set the clock, showed Girly the sleeping cow and explained that when the cow was sleeping, she needed to be sleeping. She woke at 5:19am as usual, I went to her room, showed her the sleeping cow and told her to sleep, just like mommy and daddy. Surprisingly, she laid down and was quiet for about 10 minutes. This happened three more times - she cried out, threw all her stuff on the floor, I went in to put it back in her crib and told her to lie down. At 6:03am she was up and I excitedly (this was good acting on my part) showed her the dancing cow and told her it was time to get up.
Aside: Part of the problem with the early waking is that Girly gets up, then poops and then screams out that she is "Poopy! Change diapey!". I feel bad just leaving her there for 30 minutes or more when she is clearly uncomfortable. This was the first night I explained that I would change her diaper and put her back in bed and she was actually OK with it.
Night/Morning #2: Same routine. Girly was excited about the sleeping cow. I decided to put a basket of books and toys in her crib to see if that would improve the throw-crap-out-of-your-crib-until-mommy-gets-it game. She is big time into taking things in and out of baskets. She woke first about 5:20am, I showed her the sleeping cow and laid her down. She was up again about 10 minutes later with a poopy diaper, and same routine. Then, she was quiet until 6:04am when I acted exciting about the dancing cow again. She didn't throw anything out of her crib, so that was a plus.
Morning #3: Could it be this easy? Huz nudged me early in the morning and said, "what time is it?" Ummm ... thanks for waking me up, and it's 6:04am. "Have you heard the Girl?" No. No? NO! She slept until 6:30am which, no joke, is like a frigging miracle.
Morning #4: No, it could not be this easy. Up at 5:22am, showed the sleeping cow and laid her down. Up at 5:53am. I let her cry until about 5:57am, then I went in for a 'teachable moment' (see above re: sucker). I showed her the sleeping cow, again explained that we couldn't get out of bed until the cow was dancing. At 6:00am, when the cow started dancing, I got her out.
Morning #5: I'll take it. Up at 5:02am - see the sleeping cow? - lie down - I'll see you when the cow is dancing. Then, up at 7:03am!!! Love that kid.
Morning #6: Can't remember, but only marginal.
Morning #7: Rated poor to very poor. I have the unfortunate situation of having to get up at 5:15am on Thursdays to leave my house before 6:00am for work. So - Huz was on duty. Girly was up at 5:15am ... when he responded with the cow routine, she was not pleased. I am usually the person that goes in and puts back to sleep and he is the one that gets her up for good. She was probably confused and, well, OOPS on our part. Then, she cried that she was poopy. I changed her and laid her back down. She started crying out that she was poopy again. Crying wolf? (or, is that crying poop?) Huz didn't get her till 6:00am and she really was poopy. Ooops again.
Morning #8: Marginal.
Morning #9: Marginal.
Morning #10: Slept till 6:34am with no waking in the 5's. Happy campers all around! (Well, at least until she skipped her nap that day - can't have it all).
Morning #11: Slept till 6:15am with no mama visit in the 5's. Are we on to something here?
In summary, I do feel that we have made progress. I can't say the progress is entirely due to the clock, but I do honestly feel that it has helped. Plus, the happy "cow dancing!" dance that Girly does when you go in to get her is worth every penny of the $50, and more.
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