I was thinking about that quote yesterday ... and why, really, must all good things come to an end? So you can appreciate the next good thing? I'm pretty happy with what I've got going on right now, alas, can't hold on any longer. Today is my last solo day home with Georgia for, oh, the rest of my life. I love this quiet baby time. She is such a sweet, good baby and SO easy now. (Well, now that she is sleeping). I know that this, too, will end and she will become more energetic and opinionated and fun - and I look forward to that for sure - but this sweet sleepy baby stage is just awesome. (Not the newborn stage, just to make the distinction).
Georgia's school bag is packed and all of the "camp list" of items has been shipped off to a box under her crib at school. They can't swaddle babies any longer, so I'm also sending her teachers good wishes because it's going to be rough. Little G hasn't napped or slept un-swaddled in probably 2 months. If you look at the bright side, it appears we are farming out the "break the swaddle" training, which is nice. If you look on the dark side, though, I am pretty certain I will be picking up an exhausted baby from daycare all next week who won't eat and will be sleeping like a crazy person at home. In fact, send some good wishes our way, too, if you don't mind.
I'm remembering how un-fun it is to pump at work all day, but I've got all my supplies prepped and ready. I'm currently trying to formulate the best way for me to wake / shower / feed / do hair / do make-up / get dressed / pump / grab coffee / grab breakfast / kiss my loved ones goodbye every morning. I'm tempted to use a stop watch to see just how long each task takes, but I will try to resist. I did order the Rumina Hands-Free Pump&Nurse tank and so far really like it. It's an investment, for sure, but they do have a sale right now and free shipping through the end of the month. I ordered the full-coverage version so I could wear it solo under a cardigan or something and I think it covers enough to be work appropriate. I used their measuring guidelines and the size on the corresponding chart was just right. It is kind of cumbersome to get your pump parts to fit in the tank, or at least takes a little practice, but I did it one morning while brushing my teeth and putting on make-up and it worked perfectly. Huge time saver for me. Will be ordering two more ...
Sweet G also has a cold this week, shared by her loving sister, so I'm hopeful she won't get hit AGAIN when she starts school next week. Yeah, right. She is incredibly snorty and stuffy, but no fever and otherwise happy. I forgot that I had purchased the Nosefrida Snotsucker in a fit of nesting several months ago. Pulled it out today and it is AWESOME. So much more effective than the bulb syringe.
And, finally, came across this article last night while perusing my phone and pumping ... That Baby Wants to Break You Up. I can't say that I ever felt things were this extreme in our household, but the newborn stage is no joke and this summed up some of my feelings. Sleep deprivation is terrible and I can now look back and see that I've been pretty freaking tired for the last 4-5 months, with a several week period of serious lack of sleep thrown in the middle just for kicks. It is hard and makes me a difficult person to be around. Our mornings and evenings are finally pretty pleasant again and I seem to be hitting my stride during my days home with both girls. I'm much more patient and Ellen seems more calm. I will say that the silver lining of having a non-napping older child is that I can dictate when her "quiet time" begins - i.e. it starts the minute I put Georgia down for her nap. Now that Georgia's schedule is pretty predictable I have finally figured this out and it gets me (most of) an hour to myself each afternoon. Essential.
Showing posts with label working. Show all posts
Showing posts with label working. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Balance
Great series on Cup of Jo this week on work-life balance for moms ... check it out here.
I must say, most days I feel super, super lucky to have the option to work part time at a job I really love. Three days of work is the ideal for me and our family. Ellen has a spot in a daycare that we have been really happy with and, while not perfect, I don't think any child-care situation is perfect. Even when you're exclusively doing it yourself!
I find it so interesting to read about other families and how they make their lives work. Last year, Joanna did a series on work-from-home moms. I would also find it really interesting to read about stay-at-home moms because, for the life of me, I don't know how you do it!
I must say, most days I feel super, super lucky to have the option to work part time at a job I really love. Three days of work is the ideal for me and our family. Ellen has a spot in a daycare that we have been really happy with and, while not perfect, I don't think any child-care situation is perfect. Even when you're exclusively doing it yourself!
I find it so interesting to read about other families and how they make their lives work. Last year, Joanna did a series on work-from-home moms. I would also find it really interesting to read about stay-at-home moms because, for the life of me, I don't know how you do it!
Monday, September 27, 2010
How do you do it?
I have finally come around to the idea that exercise should be, and needs to be, a more regular part of my life. The problem, though, is trying to figure out how to fit it into my day.
Except for an ill-conceived attempt at cross country running my freshman year in high school, I do not participate in sports. I am not athletic. I do not run. I do like to walk, but generally outside and not on the treadmill (which lives in our basement. Yes. I am lazy).
I am, however, exceptionally good at making excuses:
1. I don't like to walk unless the weather is nice.
2. I don't like to walk if it will mess up Girly's nap schedule. (Not so much an issue now, but used to be).
3. I don't want to have to pay someone to exercise.
4. I am not willing to give up my 1 hour of alone time during naps and devote it to exercise.
5. I can't workout in the mornings - I leave for work by 700am and we have already discussed my pure hatred for mornings that start in the 5's.
6. I could workout at night, but only after I cook dinner? Well, then, that interferes with my daily glass of wine.
See? I am a whiner.
I feel very fortunate that most of the baby weight from #1 came off with relative ease. (I don't know if breastfeeding was always easy, but I do give it credit for helping with those pounds.) Slowly, though, I think some of those pounds have crept back. I find myself saying ridiculous things like, "Oh, well. I'll just have another kid anyway - what is the point of trying to lose the weight?" Well, here is the point: we are entering Fall and when your clothes don't fit from last Fall, that feels crappy. And, should we decide to have another and I start a pregnancy weighing quite a bit more than last time? I'm sure I'll really feel excellent about myself 40 weeks later and 40 (more) pounds heavier.
So, my current approach is to try to really devote 30 minutes each day (or most days of the week) to an exercise video on TV. Girly can run around while I'm doing it and I can generally keep her out of mischief, or at least hear what kind of mischief she is getting into.
How do you fit exercise into your day / week?
Except for an ill-conceived attempt at cross country running my freshman year in high school, I do not participate in sports. I am not athletic. I do not run. I do like to walk, but generally outside and not on the treadmill (which lives in our basement. Yes. I am lazy).
I am, however, exceptionally good at making excuses:
1. I don't like to walk unless the weather is nice.
2. I don't like to walk if it will mess up Girly's nap schedule. (Not so much an issue now, but used to be).
3. I don't want to have to pay someone to exercise.
4. I am not willing to give up my 1 hour of alone time during naps and devote it to exercise.
5. I can't workout in the mornings - I leave for work by 700am and we have already discussed my pure hatred for mornings that start in the 5's.
6. I could workout at night, but only after I cook dinner? Well, then, that interferes with my daily glass of wine.
See? I am a whiner.
I feel very fortunate that most of the baby weight from #1 came off with relative ease. (I don't know if breastfeeding was always easy, but I do give it credit for helping with those pounds.) Slowly, though, I think some of those pounds have crept back. I find myself saying ridiculous things like, "Oh, well. I'll just have another kid anyway - what is the point of trying to lose the weight?" Well, here is the point: we are entering Fall and when your clothes don't fit from last Fall, that feels crappy. And, should we decide to have another and I start a pregnancy weighing quite a bit more than last time? I'm sure I'll really feel excellent about myself 40 weeks later and 40 (more) pounds heavier.
So, my current approach is to try to really devote 30 minutes each day (or most days of the week) to an exercise video on TV. Girly can run around while I'm doing it and I can generally keep her out of mischief, or at least hear what kind of mischief she is getting into.
How do you fit exercise into your day / week?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Project Waikiki
Waikiki = Weaning
We are lucky enough to have a HAWAIIAN VACATION planned for October! A professional meeting, combined with free flights and hotel leftover from Huz's traveling days, was just too good to pass up.
And, the Girl is not coming. (Thank you, grandparents!)
This is sad and exciting and sad and exciting, all at the same time. In many ways, I'm glad the timing was already established, because I don't know that we would have gone on a trip so soon. I do think it is healthy for new parents to get away for a vacation at some point, but it is always easier said than done. I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy, and the OCD that will rear it's head whilst planning for her care for 8 days will be a wonder to see.
When the trip was planned, I wasn't sure if I would still be breastfeeding or not. I am, though, and the thought of pumping on my vacation just seemed ridiculous. Plus, the timing is really about perfect - she'll be 10+ months old when we leave. I'm not sure she would have been interested in nursing after 8 days of all bottles, and it seemed like a logical break.
Sniff, sniff.
It does make me sad to think about. I haven't enjoyed every aspect of breastfeeding, but I do like the cuddle time and, more than that, it is now so fast and easy. Five minutes each side and she is done - no warming of bottles or anything else. She is quite the distractible child, though, and now with her mobility I can only imagine that she'll be a progressively squirmy eater.
So ... the process begins.
If you have learned anything about me, it is that I am a Planner. With a capital P. I also have the luxury of doing this on my own time, so I have chosen a lengthy weaning schedule. There is no rush or deadline, other than mid-October hula time!
Girly has been at 4 feedings a day for quite a while now, but I added an "artificial feeding" first thing in the morning, so my body really thought it was more like 5 feedings. I would nurse her first thing in the morning on one side, then pump both sides. I truly feel that this helped keep up my milk supply while working, but it also added complications in the mornings when I needed to get out of the house to work (took too long to feed AND pump). This also significantly added to the milk stash in the freezer.
So, starting this month, I began weaning myself off that first morning pumping. I have always pumped for 15 minutes, so over about 2-3 weeks time I just slowly cut that back to 12 minutes, then 10, 7 and 5 until I just quit all together. Tuesday of this week was the day I stopped. I had Girly nurse on both sides at 6am (which she hasn't done since she was about 8 -10 weeks old) and that was it. I was more "full" than normal for about 2 days, and now I pump more at the 10am feeding time if I am at work, but I think things adjusted themselves well.
Also, starting this month, I cut back all of my pumping times from 15 minutes to 12 and to 10. I haven't noticed that it makes much of a difference, maybe an ounce or so less, but it is faster (yeah!) and I thought it would be helpful for the eventual dropping of feedings.
With my work schedule, I plan to drop feedings on Fridays, every 1-2 weeks, which will give my body about 3 days to adjust until I am back at work again. I'll drop her 2:00pm feeding next Friday, which will be the easiest because my supply is lowest at that point. Then, a week later, I plan to drop the 10:00am feeding, which will be a little harder. This will make for only a 6:00am and a 6:00pm feeding. It also means the end of pumping at work - can you say HALLELUJAH?!?
I plan to wait 2 weeks before dropping the 6:00pm bedtime feeding, but in the meantime, will slowly start to introduce formula. I plan to use every bit of frozen breastmilk (800 oz. and counting!), but will start to introduce 1 bottle a day of half formula and half breastmilk and work up from there.
When I drop the 6:00pm feeding, I'll add 2 bottles a day of half formula, half breastmilk. So, she'll nurse first thing, and have 3 bottles for the rest of her feedings. Some people I know have dropped the bedtime feeding last, but Girly is used to getting a bottle at that time of day, and she is often so tired that she doesn't nurse well anyway. Her morning feeding is the best and it is nice to cuddle in bed - I'll definitely miss it.
About 10 days later, I plan to drop the first morning feeding and be finished. This will be about 2 weeks before we leave for vacation. By the end of that week, all of her bottles will be half breastmilk and half formula. It would certainly be easier to use all formula, but I worked hard for that breastmilk, so we are using it! Plus, it is free!
If I have calculated correctly, I have enough breastmilk to get us through this transition over 2 months, and then I will just use up whatever is left, adding more formula as needed. Just in time for the transition to real milk, dontcha know ...
So, I've penciled in Saturday October 3rd as the last time I'll nurse her. Teary, even now. I think I will really enjoy the freedom, though, and I will feel proud of what I accomplished in 10 months.
And, shortly after, I will be tan and drinking girly drinks by the pool. And I'll be glad Mr. Medela is nowhere in sight.
We are lucky enough to have a HAWAIIAN VACATION planned for October! A professional meeting, combined with free flights and hotel leftover from Huz's traveling days, was just too good to pass up.
And, the Girl is not coming. (Thank you, grandparents!)
This is sad and exciting and sad and exciting, all at the same time. In many ways, I'm glad the timing was already established, because I don't know that we would have gone on a trip so soon. I do think it is healthy for new parents to get away for a vacation at some point, but it is always easier said than done. I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy, and the OCD that will rear it's head whilst planning for her care for 8 days will be a wonder to see.
When the trip was planned, I wasn't sure if I would still be breastfeeding or not. I am, though, and the thought of pumping on my vacation just seemed ridiculous. Plus, the timing is really about perfect - she'll be 10+ months old when we leave. I'm not sure she would have been interested in nursing after 8 days of all bottles, and it seemed like a logical break.
Sniff, sniff.
It does make me sad to think about. I haven't enjoyed every aspect of breastfeeding, but I do like the cuddle time and, more than that, it is now so fast and easy. Five minutes each side and she is done - no warming of bottles or anything else. She is quite the distractible child, though, and now with her mobility I can only imagine that she'll be a progressively squirmy eater.
So ... the process begins.
If you have learned anything about me, it is that I am a Planner. With a capital P. I also have the luxury of doing this on my own time, so I have chosen a lengthy weaning schedule. There is no rush or deadline, other than mid-October hula time!
Girly has been at 4 feedings a day for quite a while now, but I added an "artificial feeding" first thing in the morning, so my body really thought it was more like 5 feedings. I would nurse her first thing in the morning on one side, then pump both sides. I truly feel that this helped keep up my milk supply while working, but it also added complications in the mornings when I needed to get out of the house to work (took too long to feed AND pump). This also significantly added to the milk stash in the freezer.
So, starting this month, I began weaning myself off that first morning pumping. I have always pumped for 15 minutes, so over about 2-3 weeks time I just slowly cut that back to 12 minutes, then 10, 7 and 5 until I just quit all together. Tuesday of this week was the day I stopped. I had Girly nurse on both sides at 6am (which she hasn't done since she was about 8 -10 weeks old) and that was it. I was more "full" than normal for about 2 days, and now I pump more at the 10am feeding time if I am at work, but I think things adjusted themselves well.
Also, starting this month, I cut back all of my pumping times from 15 minutes to 12 and to 10. I haven't noticed that it makes much of a difference, maybe an ounce or so less, but it is faster (yeah!) and I thought it would be helpful for the eventual dropping of feedings.
With my work schedule, I plan to drop feedings on Fridays, every 1-2 weeks, which will give my body about 3 days to adjust until I am back at work again. I'll drop her 2:00pm feeding next Friday, which will be the easiest because my supply is lowest at that point. Then, a week later, I plan to drop the 10:00am feeding, which will be a little harder. This will make for only a 6:00am and a 6:00pm feeding. It also means the end of pumping at work - can you say HALLELUJAH?!?
I plan to wait 2 weeks before dropping the 6:00pm bedtime feeding, but in the meantime, will slowly start to introduce formula. I plan to use every bit of frozen breastmilk (800 oz. and counting!), but will start to introduce 1 bottle a day of half formula and half breastmilk and work up from there.
When I drop the 6:00pm feeding, I'll add 2 bottles a day of half formula, half breastmilk. So, she'll nurse first thing, and have 3 bottles for the rest of her feedings. Some people I know have dropped the bedtime feeding last, but Girly is used to getting a bottle at that time of day, and she is often so tired that she doesn't nurse well anyway. Her morning feeding is the best and it is nice to cuddle in bed - I'll definitely miss it.
About 10 days later, I plan to drop the first morning feeding and be finished. This will be about 2 weeks before we leave for vacation. By the end of that week, all of her bottles will be half breastmilk and half formula. It would certainly be easier to use all formula, but I worked hard for that breastmilk, so we are using it! Plus, it is free!
If I have calculated correctly, I have enough breastmilk to get us through this transition over 2 months, and then I will just use up whatever is left, adding more formula as needed. Just in time for the transition to real milk, dontcha know ...
So, I've penciled in Saturday October 3rd as the last time I'll nurse her. Teary, even now. I think I will really enjoy the freedom, though, and I will feel proud of what I accomplished in 10 months.
And, shortly after, I will be tan and drinking girly drinks by the pool. And I'll be glad Mr. Medela is nowhere in sight.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Random Thoughts: 6 months
Moving into week 24 (5 1/2 months, not 6 - again, bad math!) ...
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Life is good!
Our Girl is happy and rested and on the brink of starting solids, which sounds fun, but I'm sure I'll miss the simplicity of just nursing.
I feel like our life is back to normal. Not the old normal, mind you, but a new normal that is really nice.
Only a few pounds of babyweight still linger, which I am very thankful for. Things certainly are not in the places they used to be, but I just didn't know what to expect and have been pleasantly surprised.
I had really hoped to breastfeed/pump for the first 6 months, and now that we are there, I don't really see any reason to stop. It is easy, inexpensive, and nice cuddle time. I already have wisps of sadness when I watch her nurse and realize that it won't last forever.
Pumping is still going well and it's a lot better to only pump twice at work. I haven't had any problems with my supply. I have noticed that the total amount I pump during the day is slowly decreasing (at a high of 21oz. at work, now more like 17oz.), but I still pump more during the day than she needs for bottles. I think it is probably due to drinking less fluids at work and being more active.
Just one more thing on sleeping (yeah, right!) ... This is a little chart that my very wise friend sent me and it's great for reference. (Seriously, she is on my speed dial for Mommy S.O.S.!)
How much sleep does your child really need? Use these guidelines:
1 week old: 16.5 total hours, including 4 naps
1 month: 15.5 total hours, including 3 naps
3 months: 15 total hours, including 3 naps
6 months: 14.25 total hours, including 2 naps
9 months: 14 total hours, including 2 naps
1 year: 13.75 total hours, including 2 naps
18 months: 13.5 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 2: 13 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 3: 12 total hours, including 1 nap
Age 4: 11.5 total hours, with no naps
Ages 5 to 9: 10-11 total hours, with no naps
Ages 10 to 15: 9-10 total hours, with no naps
Source: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster)by Richard Ferber, MD
I've been thinking quite a bit about our morning wake time of 6:00am. I picked that time WAY back when we were first implementing sleep training. I thought that was the time we would need when I went back to work. It works fine for us, but 6:00am is pretty early on those days at home and weekends. (Believe me, as a former night owl, it is shocking to me that 7:00am sounds like heaven!). My point is this: Some kids are probably just early risers and we may have one of those. It is all we can do to hold her off to 6:00am, but she is still sleeping at least 11 hours, so we can't complain. If I could do it over, I might have thought more creatively about how we could have gotten out of the house with a later wake time. I don't think there is any going back at this point!Exersaucers are a god-send! Girly loves to be upright (she is nosy) and it keeps her entertained forEVER. As a side note, there is something about being in an exersaucer that induces pooping - beware!
Finally, check out The Soft Landing. It is a great website, started by a nurse, with all kinds of safe feeding items for baby. I have been using it as reference for a while now (good blog, and VIDEOS of items in use - genius!) and just realized that they are located in the Kansas City area! They are a web-only business, but for those of you who are local, you can order on their website and pick-up in Olathe to save shipping. Love supporting those local businesses!
Now, off to work on my order .... baby feeding supplies here we come!
(Any advice?)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Note to Self #2
If you find yourself running ahead of time and feel proud of yourself for getting out of the house on time ... Don't.
Stop.
Think through what you just did.
Did you forget something?
Yesterday morning, I left the house 5 minutes early, which is unusual on the days when my cleaning lady comes and I am racing around to get things ready for her.
I felt pretty good!
Until, that is, I realized at 11:01am that I forgot to put any make-up on.
Stop.
Think through what you just did.
Did you forget something?
Yesterday morning, I left the house 5 minutes early, which is unusual on the days when my cleaning lady comes and I am racing around to get things ready for her.
I felt pretty good!
Until, that is, I realized at 11:01am that I forgot to put any make-up on.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Be Careful What You Wish For
I had two goals for my maternity leave: 1) Get baby to breastfeed well and, 2) Get baby to sleep through the night. Check, check. I felt that if I accomplished those two goals, and bathed her occasionally, we would really be on our way.
The Girl is a rested, chubby-cheeked, darling baby and I couldn't be happier.
But.
It isn't always easy.
This article from the Today Show website sums up some of the ambivalence I feel about breastfeeding. The author talks about the mommy-scorn she got when she contemplated, out loud, quitting breastfeeding after her maternity leave. With her third child. After 28 months of breastfeeding in total!
She (correctly) describes the inconclusive medical literature about the benefits of breastfeeding. While there are likely certain benefits, the magnitude of that benefit is often overstated.
There is so much societal pressure to breastfeed and I never really considered it an option. It was a necessity. While I wouldn't trade the experience and I really value the cuddle time, that isn't to say that I don't let Girly sleep for 5 more minutes on occasion because I'm just not quite ready to sit tethered to her on the couch for half an hour. Or that I don't occasionally begrudge my husband for trotting off to do something when I need to be home to feed her.
The other interesting point the author makes is that breastfeeding has become an extension of "super-parenting". Baby Mozart. The best preschool. Harvard, damn it. You wouldn't dare do something that would jeopardize your child's future, would you? We are so fortunate that our daughter has the opportunity to grow up in a household with two loving parents, four loving grandparents, and countless supportive friends and family members. I believe it is those factors, more than anything else, that will contribute to her bright future. (And, she will go to Harvard, in case you were wondering).
We are educated parents (or, at least, I would like to think so). We made the decision, together, that breastfeeding would be the best option for our family. Here is where it gets tricky, though. By nature, or habit, or both, mothers take on the role of Primary Care Giver. Especially OCD-mom's like myself. Breastfeeding fosters that role. You are the one that feeds the child? Then you must be the one that best comforts that child. Or best burps that child. Or best sucks the boogers out of that child. If you aren't careful, you will be the "best" at everything and you are left doing everything. This is a two-way street. It may be easy for Dad or Significant Other to defer to the breastfeeding Mom, but it is also easy for the breastfeeding Mom to feel that her way is the best way.
At 14 weeks of parenthood, I am trying to let go of the little things. It isn't easy for me. Different doesn't mean worse. If I always do it, I can't complain because I didn't give anyone else the opportunity. And when someone else tries to help, I can't critique if it isn't my way, as long as the Girl is happy and healthy.
So, as I sit here pumping for the first of three (or more) times today, I feel lucky. Lucky that I had the choice to breastfeed. Lucky that I have an education and work in a place that allows me the freedom to pump. Lucky that our daughter is healthy and growing.
So, for now, Mr. Medela and I will continue with our intimate relationship.
For how long? I'm not sure. It may be that my OCD-nature is contributing ... when I begin to think about the possibility of formula, and then perseverate over the possibility that she may be gassy, or have an allergy, or god knows what, I just stop.
It is working.
For now.
The Girl is a rested, chubby-cheeked, darling baby and I couldn't be happier.
But.
It isn't always easy.
This article from the Today Show website sums up some of the ambivalence I feel about breastfeeding. The author talks about the mommy-scorn she got when she contemplated, out loud, quitting breastfeeding after her maternity leave. With her third child. After 28 months of breastfeeding in total!
She (correctly) describes the inconclusive medical literature about the benefits of breastfeeding. While there are likely certain benefits, the magnitude of that benefit is often overstated.
There is so much societal pressure to breastfeed and I never really considered it an option. It was a necessity. While I wouldn't trade the experience and I really value the cuddle time, that isn't to say that I don't let Girly sleep for 5 more minutes on occasion because I'm just not quite ready to sit tethered to her on the couch for half an hour. Or that I don't occasionally begrudge my husband for trotting off to do something when I need to be home to feed her.
The other interesting point the author makes is that breastfeeding has become an extension of "super-parenting". Baby Mozart. The best preschool. Harvard, damn it. You wouldn't dare do something that would jeopardize your child's future, would you? We are so fortunate that our daughter has the opportunity to grow up in a household with two loving parents, four loving grandparents, and countless supportive friends and family members. I believe it is those factors, more than anything else, that will contribute to her bright future. (And, she will go to Harvard, in case you were wondering).
We are educated parents (or, at least, I would like to think so). We made the decision, together, that breastfeeding would be the best option for our family. Here is where it gets tricky, though. By nature, or habit, or both, mothers take on the role of Primary Care Giver. Especially OCD-mom's like myself. Breastfeeding fosters that role. You are the one that feeds the child? Then you must be the one that best comforts that child. Or best burps that child. Or best sucks the boogers out of that child. If you aren't careful, you will be the "best" at everything and you are left doing everything. This is a two-way street. It may be easy for Dad or Significant Other to defer to the breastfeeding Mom, but it is also easy for the breastfeeding Mom to feel that her way is the best way.
At 14 weeks of parenthood, I am trying to let go of the little things. It isn't easy for me. Different doesn't mean worse. If I always do it, I can't complain because I didn't give anyone else the opportunity. And when someone else tries to help, I can't critique if it isn't my way, as long as the Girl is happy and healthy.
So, as I sit here pumping for the first of three (or more) times today, I feel lucky. Lucky that I had the choice to breastfeed. Lucky that I have an education and work in a place that allows me the freedom to pump. Lucky that our daughter is healthy and growing.
So, for now, Mr. Medela and I will continue with our intimate relationship.
For how long? I'm not sure. It may be that my OCD-nature is contributing ... when I begin to think about the possibility of formula, and then perseverate over the possibility that she may be gassy, or have an allergy, or god knows what, I just stop.
It is working.
For now.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Back to Work: Thoughts from the 2nd Day
Or, really could be titled: "You can't be too organized or too nice"
My number one thought is YOU CAN DO IT! I wavered throughout my maternity leave - at times wanting much more stimulation and projects and at times being perfectly content with PJs and CSI:New York. The bottom line, at least for our family, was that not working was not an option. I feel privileged to be only working 3 days, but working 0 days was not in the plan. So, the sooner you can understand that no one will pay you to stay home and that daycare MUST work out, the better you will be. (This is not to say that it was an easy transition for me - I must have told Erik 317 times in the last week that I was just going to quit my job and stay home and that Girly told me she agreed).
The next thought is: be organized! I can take anal to a whole new level, but I feel that over-organized is better than under-organized. It will certainly depend on your daycare situation, but being at a daycare center or a larger place with lots of kids means LOTS of bodies and labeling everything. I ordered labels from Label Daddy and they are working great so far. I got the combo pack with 3 sizes to use for clothes, bottles, caps - all kinds of stuff. Some have peeled off the bottles, but I really think any kind of label will come off with something that is washed and sterilized so often. I also ordered bumpy name labels from http://www.inchbug.com/ - I think this will work best for bottles. Also, I kind of sorted out things that needed labels and things I thought wouldn't go to daycare - don't waste your time. Just label everything so you aren't racing around trying to find labels in the mornings. This includes pacifiers - label them all.
I typed up an emergency contact sheet for daycare and made one for me and Erik, and also our parents or whoever else might be picking up baby. Daycare can be a little scatterbrained, so I was sure to leave one in the Girl's room, too. I also typed up her typical schedule and little hints about her (when she gets the paci, how warm the bottles are, that she cries when you take the bottle out of her mouth ... whatever). The daycare providers are certainly great with kids, but they don't know your kid yet. I send the Girl with a Lands End monogrammed bag everyday with her bottles, a jacket, ziploc bags for dirty stuff, papers - whatever she might need.
On that note, be NICE to your daycare providers. Not that any of you are anything less than super nice people, but I think it is surprising that some parents just aren't nice. My friend Marie told me that she gives her daycare provider a card every week with her $ in it and sometimes a little candy or something. The lady said Marie was the first person in TEN YEARS to really thank her! After all, these are the people you have entrusted with your child's life ... if your baby gets extra special attention because her parents are lovely, then great!
Next tip ... LET IT GO. This will be a work in progress for me because I pretty much perseverate over every.little.thing. I think it will make me a better parent when I am forced to get over the little things - like Girly smelling like spit up the first day when I picked her up because her-shirt-was-dirty-and-I-probably-would-have-caught-it-but-they-didn't-because-they-were-busy. Your child will not follow your "home" schedule while at daycare, at least not at first. They probably will, however, be able to transition to a "home" schedule and a "school" schedule with time.
If possible, make Dad do the drop off in the morning, at least the first day. I cried in my kitchen, but actually physically leaving her would have been worse. Then, you can race to pick baby up after work and be the good guy!
Pumping (or, a good way to literally suck hours out of your day): I can see why people stop breastfeeding when they go back to work. Milk supply issues are a potential concern and certainly wouldn't have shown up yet for me, but it takes some dedication to deal with ALL the supplies you need for the day. Also, depending on your work environment, it may or may not be so easy to take the time out of your day to pump. For me, it is pretty easy. I now leave the house with four bags every day and my big hospital mug of water: work bag with laptop, pump bag with all supplies, purse, lunch. I need to find a way to consolidate ... will probably order another Lands End bag for me (I'm obsessed) to hold all the pump paraphernalia and lunch, at least. This is where the Medela Freestyle Pump is so great - can go in any bag you want.
I need to pump 3 times at work, at least for the beginning till we get this all figured out. I try to pump as close to the times the Girl eats as possible. I bring 6 little bottles with me and 3 sets of the pump parts, along with sterilizer bag, ziploc bag, pump, freezer bag and ice cooler, burp cloth, extra breast pads and a log to write down pump amounts. I also put a diaper in the bag so it smells like "baby". I have access to a microwave and fridge, but it is difficult to sterilize the parts and set them out to dry - much easier to sterilize and throw in a ziploc bag to take home, and then just use a spare set next time.
Your morning routine will be interesting - took us 1 hour and 45 minutes the first day! I have to leave at 7:15 to get to Topeka, so for us it works best for Dad to give a bottle first thing on those mornings while I pump instead of me nursing her and then pumping after. I was stressed about her getting 4 bottles on those days instead of 3, but in the end I think it is better for me not to get up so early and I focus on nursing her as soon as we get home and then before bed. Eventually it will probably be easier / faster for me to nurse first thing and not have to pump after. Lay out baby's clothes the night before so Dad can dress them and have bottles in the fridge ready to go in the cooler pack.
This is what I know so far .... it's a transition, you know ...
My number one thought is YOU CAN DO IT! I wavered throughout my maternity leave - at times wanting much more stimulation and projects and at times being perfectly content with PJs and CSI:New York. The bottom line, at least for our family, was that not working was not an option. I feel privileged to be only working 3 days, but working 0 days was not in the plan. So, the sooner you can understand that no one will pay you to stay home and that daycare MUST work out, the better you will be. (This is not to say that it was an easy transition for me - I must have told Erik 317 times in the last week that I was just going to quit my job and stay home and that Girly told me she agreed).
The next thought is: be organized! I can take anal to a whole new level, but I feel that over-organized is better than under-organized. It will certainly depend on your daycare situation, but being at a daycare center or a larger place with lots of kids means LOTS of bodies and labeling everything. I ordered labels from Label Daddy and they are working great so far. I got the combo pack with 3 sizes to use for clothes, bottles, caps - all kinds of stuff. Some have peeled off the bottles, but I really think any kind of label will come off with something that is washed and sterilized so often. I also ordered bumpy name labels from http://www.inchbug.com/ - I think this will work best for bottles. Also, I kind of sorted out things that needed labels and things I thought wouldn't go to daycare - don't waste your time. Just label everything so you aren't racing around trying to find labels in the mornings. This includes pacifiers - label them all.
I typed up an emergency contact sheet for daycare and made one for me and Erik, and also our parents or whoever else might be picking up baby. Daycare can be a little scatterbrained, so I was sure to leave one in the Girl's room, too. I also typed up her typical schedule and little hints about her (when she gets the paci, how warm the bottles are, that she cries when you take the bottle out of her mouth ... whatever). The daycare providers are certainly great with kids, but they don't know your kid yet. I send the Girl with a Lands End monogrammed bag everyday with her bottles, a jacket, ziploc bags for dirty stuff, papers - whatever she might need.
On that note, be NICE to your daycare providers. Not that any of you are anything less than super nice people, but I think it is surprising that some parents just aren't nice. My friend Marie told me that she gives her daycare provider a card every week with her $ in it and sometimes a little candy or something. The lady said Marie was the first person in TEN YEARS to really thank her! After all, these are the people you have entrusted with your child's life ... if your baby gets extra special attention because her parents are lovely, then great!
Next tip ... LET IT GO. This will be a work in progress for me because I pretty much perseverate over every.little.thing. I think it will make me a better parent when I am forced to get over the little things - like Girly smelling like spit up the first day when I picked her up because her-shirt-was-dirty-and-I-probably-would-have-caught-it-but-they-didn't-because-they-were-busy. Your child will not follow your "home" schedule while at daycare, at least not at first. They probably will, however, be able to transition to a "home" schedule and a "school" schedule with time.
If possible, make Dad do the drop off in the morning, at least the first day. I cried in my kitchen, but actually physically leaving her would have been worse. Then, you can race to pick baby up after work and be the good guy!
Pumping (or, a good way to literally suck hours out of your day): I can see why people stop breastfeeding when they go back to work. Milk supply issues are a potential concern and certainly wouldn't have shown up yet for me, but it takes some dedication to deal with ALL the supplies you need for the day. Also, depending on your work environment, it may or may not be so easy to take the time out of your day to pump. For me, it is pretty easy. I now leave the house with four bags every day and my big hospital mug of water: work bag with laptop, pump bag with all supplies, purse, lunch. I need to find a way to consolidate ... will probably order another Lands End bag for me (I'm obsessed) to hold all the pump paraphernalia and lunch, at least. This is where the Medela Freestyle Pump is so great - can go in any bag you want.
I need to pump 3 times at work, at least for the beginning till we get this all figured out. I try to pump as close to the times the Girl eats as possible. I bring 6 little bottles with me and 3 sets of the pump parts, along with sterilizer bag, ziploc bag, pump, freezer bag and ice cooler, burp cloth, extra breast pads and a log to write down pump amounts. I also put a diaper in the bag so it smells like "baby". I have access to a microwave and fridge, but it is difficult to sterilize the parts and set them out to dry - much easier to sterilize and throw in a ziploc bag to take home, and then just use a spare set next time.
Your morning routine will be interesting - took us 1 hour and 45 minutes the first day! I have to leave at 7:15 to get to Topeka, so for us it works best for Dad to give a bottle first thing on those mornings while I pump instead of me nursing her and then pumping after. I was stressed about her getting 4 bottles on those days instead of 3, but in the end I think it is better for me not to get up so early and I focus on nursing her as soon as we get home and then before bed. Eventually it will probably be easier / faster for me to nurse first thing and not have to pump after. Lay out baby's clothes the night before so Dad can dress them and have bottles in the fridge ready to go in the cooler pack.
This is what I know so far .... it's a transition, you know ...
Pumping (or, couldn't you buy me dinner first?)
The pump and I have a love-hate relationship. Yes, it allows me to feed my child and it also allows my husband to feed my child, thus buying some freedom. It also feels like a ball and chain at times. Despite that, for me, it is a necessary evil as I am committed to breastfeeding as long as it works for us. And it is working.
Opinions from a less-than-expert ...
1. Start pumping early! I'm no lactation consultant, but it is really hard to find good advice about the pump. My LC told me to get out my pump one day at about 1 week old when I was really engorged and I thought I might be getting mastitis. It is super weird the first time, but you get the hang of it quickly. Ever since then I have pumped almost every day, with the exception of when the Girl was going through a growth spurt.
2. We started with the bottle at about 3 weeks, so I would pump while Dad gave her a bottle. Initially I would pump first and then he would give her the freshly pumped milk, but I couldn't quite keep up, so it was better to have a bottle ready to go and then pump at the same time for the next day's bottle.
3. I started off giving Girly 4 oz. Again, very little direction on this, but you might have a better idea if you use formula. She gobbled it up. I think a rough formula is 24 ounces in 24 hours - just divide by the number of feedings they are getting and that is the approximate right number of ounces. Some kids more, some kids less.
4. Use the Soft Fit breastshields if you have a Medela pump - seem comfy and the LC at the store I go to says she won't sell anything else now.
5. I use the microwave sterilizer for everything, but I find that the milk fat doesn't really come off the bottles well after they have been in the fridge with milk in them. Use the dishwasher for bottles at that point. Life is too short to wash bottles by hand.
6. From about 1 week-6 weeks Girly would have random times when she would only eat on one side (I always offered both and she averaged 10min/side). I would pump the other side because I wanted to keep my supply up, didn't want my boob to hurt, and it was a good way to build up a little supply in the fridge.
7. When Girly first started sleeping much longer stretches at night (around 7-8 weeks) I would only feed her on one side when she woke up in the morning. This will totally depend on your baby, but I was very engorged and she would choke and sputter and spit up if I fed her on both sides. She seemed satisfied after one side, so that was it. Then, I would pump both sides (double pumping is always more effective than single pumping) and I would get lots of milk. I have continued to do this every morning, but it is a bit of a Catch-22. If I weaned off the morning pumping I could nurse her and get out of the house much quicker before work, but I get SO MUCH milk when I pump first thing that I am afraid my supply will drop and I won't be able to keep up with her bottle demands for daycare. So, pumping it is. Now I put the pump and bottles by my bed the night before I have to work so I can just barely wake up and do it while I watch the news.
8. Details: I tried to read a lot online, but the info varies so much. Many websites say it is normal to only get 2-4 ounces TOTAL when you pump both boobs. I found this was pretty close to what I would get when I pumped during the day, but I just couldn't see how I would ever keep up with the Girl's bottles if she took more than 4 ounces each time. Plus, when I asked my friends, they all said they got a lot more! So ... I started pumping 15 minutes each time I pumped (or, longer if you still see drips), which gradually helped a lot. I also add in an extra "feeding" each day - the Girl nurses 5 times and gets 1 bottle and I pump twice, to make 7 "feedings". I have GOBS of extra milk in my freezer at this point, but I wanted to try to bank as much as possible before going back to work. Try these things, or adding a beer a day, before using meds to increase your supply. In just a few weeks time I now have 200+ oz. of milk in my freezer.
8.5. This isn't to say that meds don't work. I have several friends who have used Fenugreek and prescription meds with great success. I was just hesitant to start because I didn't think I had a low milk supply, I thought I just needed better pumping habits. As it is now, I feel like I spend all of my time on "milk maintenance" and I can't imagine if I was pumping MORE than I already am.
9. Freezer supply: My LC told me to have about 30 oz. in the freezer when I went back to work. Sounds like a lot, but really that is only about 2 days at daycare! Build up as much as you can. And, here is the catch - I read that you really shouldn't use your freezer supply unless you really have to. Once you start relying on that to meet the baby's bottle needs for the day, your body interprets that to mean you need to make that many fewer ounces each day and it is a vicious cycle until you make too little to feed the baby and your freezer supply is gone. I just plan to use it in emergencies and when I am weaning her.
10. As for milk storage, I will leave fresh milk in the fridge up to 4 days before giving it to her or freezing it. I follow the La Leche League guidelines - figure they know what they are talking about. My pump doesn't go directly into bags, so I transfer from the little bottles. I was using the medela bags, but they are pricey, so I am switching to Lansinoh. Also, I have a milk storage gizmo in my freezer that works great to smoosh the bags flat. When this is full, I transfer the frozen blocks to those ziploc throw-away tupperware things. The rectangular size works great.
11. I've said before that we use the medela bottles and they work great for the Girl without adding a step of transferring milk to another bottle. I have about 20 of the 5oz bottles and we still go through them like crazy - 6 for me and 4 for her each day I work, plus random overflow bottles in the fridge from pumping. Eventually, she will take more than 5 oz and these bottles won't be so useful. As it is now, when I pump first thing in the morning I can fill up a bottle. I got some cheapy 8oz Evenflo bottles for the morning pump. They are bpa free and fit medela pumps. Dr. Browns bottles also fit the medela pump if you use those.
12. Keeping track! I used sticky notes at first to keep track of what day I pumped the milk. In a stroke of genius (at least I would like to think so) I got a narrow dry erase marker to write the day of the week on the cap. Now I also use it to keep track of daycare bottles and first morning bottles. Wipe it off before you throw it in the wash.
13. Vitamins - our doc recommended PolyViSol since the Girl was exclusively breastfed. I put the dropper of goo in her daily bottle so we don't battle to get it in her mouth, She doesn't seem to care. I also put her tylenol in her bottle after she had her first shots. I don't yet feel confidant getting the whole dropper in her mouth and this eliminates the guesswork. Also, after Ellen's first shots she screamed when I laid her down to breastfeed because her legs hurt. Next time, I'll probably just plan for the bottle.
14. Finally, if you are pumping when you go back to work, you will hopefully be pleasantly surprised at your supply. I almost never pumped during the day - just first thing in the morning where I got tons, and late in the day when I had much less, which is pretty typical. I have pumped a lot more in my first week back than I would have expected. Good so far!
Opinions from a less-than-expert ...
1. Start pumping early! I'm no lactation consultant, but it is really hard to find good advice about the pump. My LC told me to get out my pump one day at about 1 week old when I was really engorged and I thought I might be getting mastitis. It is super weird the first time, but you get the hang of it quickly. Ever since then I have pumped almost every day, with the exception of when the Girl was going through a growth spurt.
2. We started with the bottle at about 3 weeks, so I would pump while Dad gave her a bottle. Initially I would pump first and then he would give her the freshly pumped milk, but I couldn't quite keep up, so it was better to have a bottle ready to go and then pump at the same time for the next day's bottle.
3. I started off giving Girly 4 oz. Again, very little direction on this, but you might have a better idea if you use formula. She gobbled it up. I think a rough formula is 24 ounces in 24 hours - just divide by the number of feedings they are getting and that is the approximate right number of ounces. Some kids more, some kids less.
4. Use the Soft Fit breastshields if you have a Medela pump - seem comfy and the LC at the store I go to says she won't sell anything else now.
5. I use the microwave sterilizer for everything, but I find that the milk fat doesn't really come off the bottles well after they have been in the fridge with milk in them. Use the dishwasher for bottles at that point. Life is too short to wash bottles by hand.
6. From about 1 week-6 weeks Girly would have random times when she would only eat on one side (I always offered both and she averaged 10min/side). I would pump the other side because I wanted to keep my supply up, didn't want my boob to hurt, and it was a good way to build up a little supply in the fridge.
7. When Girly first started sleeping much longer stretches at night (around 7-8 weeks) I would only feed her on one side when she woke up in the morning. This will totally depend on your baby, but I was very engorged and she would choke and sputter and spit up if I fed her on both sides. She seemed satisfied after one side, so that was it. Then, I would pump both sides (double pumping is always more effective than single pumping) and I would get lots of milk. I have continued to do this every morning, but it is a bit of a Catch-22. If I weaned off the morning pumping I could nurse her and get out of the house much quicker before work, but I get SO MUCH milk when I pump first thing that I am afraid my supply will drop and I won't be able to keep up with her bottle demands for daycare. So, pumping it is. Now I put the pump and bottles by my bed the night before I have to work so I can just barely wake up and do it while I watch the news.
8. Details: I tried to read a lot online, but the info varies so much. Many websites say it is normal to only get 2-4 ounces TOTAL when you pump both boobs. I found this was pretty close to what I would get when I pumped during the day, but I just couldn't see how I would ever keep up with the Girl's bottles if she took more than 4 ounces each time. Plus, when I asked my friends, they all said they got a lot more! So ... I started pumping 15 minutes each time I pumped (or, longer if you still see drips), which gradually helped a lot. I also add in an extra "feeding" each day - the Girl nurses 5 times and gets 1 bottle and I pump twice, to make 7 "feedings". I have GOBS of extra milk in my freezer at this point, but I wanted to try to bank as much as possible before going back to work. Try these things, or adding a beer a day, before using meds to increase your supply. In just a few weeks time I now have 200+ oz. of milk in my freezer.
8.5. This isn't to say that meds don't work. I have several friends who have used Fenugreek and prescription meds with great success. I was just hesitant to start because I didn't think I had a low milk supply, I thought I just needed better pumping habits. As it is now, I feel like I spend all of my time on "milk maintenance" and I can't imagine if I was pumping MORE than I already am.
9. Freezer supply: My LC told me to have about 30 oz. in the freezer when I went back to work. Sounds like a lot, but really that is only about 2 days at daycare! Build up as much as you can. And, here is the catch - I read that you really shouldn't use your freezer supply unless you really have to. Once you start relying on that to meet the baby's bottle needs for the day, your body interprets that to mean you need to make that many fewer ounces each day and it is a vicious cycle until you make too little to feed the baby and your freezer supply is gone. I just plan to use it in emergencies and when I am weaning her.
10. As for milk storage, I will leave fresh milk in the fridge up to 4 days before giving it to her or freezing it. I follow the La Leche League guidelines - figure they know what they are talking about. My pump doesn't go directly into bags, so I transfer from the little bottles. I was using the medela bags, but they are pricey, so I am switching to Lansinoh. Also, I have a milk storage gizmo in my freezer that works great to smoosh the bags flat. When this is full, I transfer the frozen blocks to those ziploc throw-away tupperware things. The rectangular size works great.
11. I've said before that we use the medela bottles and they work great for the Girl without adding a step of transferring milk to another bottle. I have about 20 of the 5oz bottles and we still go through them like crazy - 6 for me and 4 for her each day I work, plus random overflow bottles in the fridge from pumping. Eventually, she will take more than 5 oz and these bottles won't be so useful. As it is now, when I pump first thing in the morning I can fill up a bottle. I got some cheapy 8oz Evenflo bottles for the morning pump. They are bpa free and fit medela pumps. Dr. Browns bottles also fit the medela pump if you use those.
12. Keeping track! I used sticky notes at first to keep track of what day I pumped the milk. In a stroke of genius (at least I would like to think so) I got a narrow dry erase marker to write the day of the week on the cap. Now I also use it to keep track of daycare bottles and first morning bottles. Wipe it off before you throw it in the wash.
13. Vitamins - our doc recommended PolyViSol since the Girl was exclusively breastfed. I put the dropper of goo in her daily bottle so we don't battle to get it in her mouth, She doesn't seem to care. I also put her tylenol in her bottle after she had her first shots. I don't yet feel confidant getting the whole dropper in her mouth and this eliminates the guesswork. Also, after Ellen's first shots she screamed when I laid her down to breastfeed because her legs hurt. Next time, I'll probably just plan for the bottle.
14. Finally, if you are pumping when you go back to work, you will hopefully be pleasantly surprised at your supply. I almost never pumped during the day - just first thing in the morning where I got tons, and late in the day when I had much less, which is pretty typical. I have pumped a lot more in my first week back than I would have expected. Good so far!
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