Technical difficulties

A crashed laptop with a destroyed hard drive does not a good blogger make.

I had actually backed-up most of everything, save for the last 2 months. There were still tears when I thought about the pictures and videos that might have been lost. I still don't know if I have everything, but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.

Please, friends. Don't do that to yourselves. If you are like me and ALL of your precious pictures and videos of your child live on your computer, you just cannot risk something happening to it.

I'll get back to some mom stuff soon, but for now my parting advice to you ...

Go right now and backup everything on your computer. Use an external hard drive AND an online subscription service (I use Backblaze) AND burn favorite photos and movies to a DVD AND put important work files on a thumb drive (and I'm going to experiment with Dropbox).

You know, just in case.

Also, and this is a bummer one, be sure to back-up your browser bookmarks or favorites in a file on your desktop. All of those carefully selected blogs and websites that I've accumulated over the last 4 years? Yep, gonesville.

True, this is minor trauma. I've had friends, though, who have had their laptop AND external hard drive stolen, or our incredibly sad neighbors in Joplin who just lost everything in an instant - you just don't know what might happen tomorrow.

Protecting your memories can make a sad situation just a little bit better.

Go.
Now.
Do it.

I hope you never have to thank me, because I hope it never happens to you.

Survivor: Child Island

I can't take credit for the title - I read it somewhere (maybe in the comments of this link?) - but I chuckled and thought it sounded just about right for many a day.

I wrote down some Mom advice at a baby shower the other day and my #1 tip was that you get to start over each day! If you feel like you were an a-hole one day, or if your kid ate 3 bags of graham crackers for a meal, or if they went to bed with dirty feet, no worries. You get to try again!

In full disclosure, I'm not this laid back all the time, but I am getting better. There is something about having a living, breathing, talking toddler around ALL the time that makes me feel reassured that I haven't already screwed things up too badly.

Here is where I got the idea - go read Survivor Mom at Motherhood Uncensored. Make yourself feel better today. Then go have wine.

Stay in your seat!

Another transition around here ... not a huge one, but still a change to our days.

We had still been using our Inglesina Fast Table Chair that I loved SO much for the majority of Ellen's meals. It was fast, simple, and best of all - it CONFINED her.

We have been having more family dinners - probably 3-4 times a week - and it has been challenging (at best) to have her stay in her seat to eat dinner. She has a little booster and we all sit at our dining room table. Initially, she would stay in her seat pretty well to eat, but then asked to get down to play. We have pretty much instilled the "stay at the table until everyone is finished eating" rule, but the "stay in your seat" part isn't working out so well. She asks to sit with me or Dad, which is a habit I don't like, but she also eats a better dinner if she is sitting with one of us. What to do?

So, we had a few parties and the high chair came down. I really wanted to put it back up, but she is certainly old enough to learn to sit in her chair and eat a meal. She does it at daycare with a table full of kids, so I know she can do it at home.

All of her meals are now served at her little table and chair set in the kitchen. She is not good at sitting still and eating her meal, and there are lots of ups and downs, but I think I am seeing some (slow) positive improvement.

Yet another one of those things that is challenging as a parent, yet good for your kid. Theme #1,467 of parenting, I suppose ...

MacGyver

Maybe I'm the last person to figure this one out ...

Ells eats lots of tacos - seems that everything is more appealing when rolled up in a tortilla. She does, however, tend to have a meltdown when the contents fall out the bottom.

Finally last week, after lots of taco tears, I folded up the bottom like a burrito and secured it all with a toothpick.

Disaster averted.

It's the little things, right?

A trip to the Dentist can be lots of fun ...

I feel like the puppet master today.

Miss Ellen is scheduled for her first trip to the dentist on Friday. I feel like we might be late for this, which makes me nervous. If you know anything about me, it is that I am a rule-follower. I haven't had anyone firmly state that we need to get to the dentist (I think the AAP says 1 year, several friends have said 2 years or 3 years), but I still feel like I am going to get a slap on the wrist by the dental police.

(As an aside, I have a new theory on personality: I think you can tell a lot about a person by the type of toothpaste they choose in the dental office. Me? Always mint, every time, since early childhood. Pretty much tells the story, right?)

So. I don't know if I've really documented our battles related to The Brushing Of The Teeth, but it is generally the most unpleasant task of our day. I have tried every trick I can think of, with only short-lived success. Ells does generally respond well to authority figures, so I am hoping our friendly Dentist will give me a little boost in this department.

I took the same approach to our first dentist visit as I did for her first haircut - videos! There are quite a few Sesame Street dentist videos on YouTube. (And, seriously, look at this one on The Girl and her Llama at the dentist! My memory is crap and I TOTALLY remember this - what IS this all about?)

So, anyway, we made a trip to the library this morning for books about the dentist, but came away with a DVD ("A trip to the dentist can be lots of fun!"). Ells asked to watch it before nap and she was thoroughly enthralled by the puppet, Bucky the Beaver, and his visit to Dr. Rob.

I caught her singing the song before nap (... a trip to the dentist can be lots of fun ...).

She asked to brush her teeth before nap.

She woke up and said, "Mom. I HAVE to go the dentist!"

See? Like I said ... puppet master.

(And, at the risk of sounding like I know what I'm doing, I'll be sure to report back on our actual experience in the special chair!)

Potty Party! The poop ... literally

We had three very successful days of peepee on the potty, but not so much with the poop. I knew it would be a challenge and many kids are #2 trained quite awhile after #1, but I was not looking forward to figuring this out.

In preparation, we had been talking lots about pooping in the potty for days in advance. We read the 'Everyone Poops' book over and over and over. We flushed the poop from her diaper in the toilet so she could see it. Didn't think I would talk so much about poop in my entire life.

Day one of potty party and she had a poop accident, which was pretty much to be expected. She didn't like it and was upset and wanted to get it fixed pronto. We still flushed the poop and explained that we would try again and she needed to let us know next time. I know you don't care about all the pooping habits of my child, but she isn't the kind of kid that gives much warning. I think she pooped again in her diaper at naptime and bedtime, which was fine, and I was happy she went because I didn't want to get into some nasty withholding-constipation nightmare.

The next day, I caught her mid-poop and had the portable potty right next to me in the family room and I just sat her down and tried to get her to finish. I was trying to be happy and relaxed and we read books and sang songs, but she couldn't relax. She kept trying to stand up to poop, poor thing. I don't blame her - when you do it that way for almost 2 years, must be hard to switch! (One tip is to try to catch your kiddo before they poop and just sit them on the potty, clothed and with diaper, so they can get used to pooping while sitting). I think she pooped again in her diaper for the rest of the weekend, when she was in bed, so we sent her off to school on Tuesday without any poop success over the weekend.

Same story all week, poop in diapers with maybe one accident at school. She did really great with peeing on the potty all week at home and school. She was home again Friday with me and I was really hoping we could make some progress. I'll provide more details than you want, but only because it might help. (Truthfully, I'm sure all of this is more detail than you want!) We were relaxing and reading books before nap and she still had her undies on (change to diaper just before bed) and she tooted ('Scuze me!). I asked if she needed to poop and she didn't protest very vigorously, so I sat her down on the potty in "her" bathroom. I don't know what possessed me, but I told her I would stand outside the (open) door and give her some privacy. I guess it did the trick because IT WORKED!

I laid on the praise like you wouldn't believe, she was proud of herself, and we called Daddy at work to share the good news. (You could sense the thrill in his voice. Ha!)

The next day, we tried again before nap in the same way and she did it again! Hip, hip, hooray!

So, by Sunday we were at our 3rd day in a row of no accidents at all, peeing and pooping on the potty. I asked her before lunch if she needed to poop and she said yes. Get thee to a potty, child! She now asks for "pi-vacy" - which is hilariously cute - and is quite proud of her success. On Sunday night, she was monkeying around in bed and when Daddy went to tell her to go to sleep she said she needed to poop, and lo and behold, she did! I thought this was quite the milestone, and I'm crossing my fingers the success continues.

So, in long-winded summary, we are 8 days into wearing undies as I write this. I think it is going great! I still do lots of prompting, probably more than necessary, and am working on finding the right balance of getting her to go when needed without setting up power struggles. We do a lot of - "time to go potty!" and she asks for 2 more minutes playing, so we set the kitchen timer and she goes in 2 minutes. She responds well to this because she feels in control of the situation, which I am mostly fine with, unless we need to get out of the house.

I'm still pretty gun-shy with the running errands and such. We haven't had any car accidents (yet) ... will let you know how that works out for us.

Potty Party! The day of ...

Have you been perched on the edge of your chair awaiting the rest of the details? Right. Didn't think so.

Nevertheless ...

We had our supplies:
- installed potty seat in all bathrooms
- portable potty in the room with us (just in case)
- small rewards (stickers / band aids) for dry undies
- bigger rewards for potty success (toys / food / small candy)
- lots of undies
- beverages and salty snacks
- activities to keep busy!

We had been talking up big girl undies for several days and were committed to undies from that point forward whenever she was awake. I explained that diapers were for sleeping and I know that it will be awhile before she is dry overnight - her diapers are still soaked in the morning, and almost always wet after nap.

(And, to be fair, this was our experience. Our girl had been successfully using the potty at daycare for almost 2 weeks, so this wasn't a huge new experience to her. We probably had an easier time of things than some others ...)

We started our day, bright and early, with both Mom and Dad on deck - no sleeping in this time! I took her diaper off, put her undies on and we went downstairs for breakfast. No PJs or clothes to get in the way, which was her choice.

We started breakfast, but I set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes and explained that we would try to go peepee on the potty when the bell went off. We tried mid-breakfast, with no success, but she got a reward for dry undies. We tried again in 10 minutes and again in 10 minutes and I can't remember when she first had success, but she continued to get rewards for dry undies and then we spaced the timer out to 15 minutes. Meanwhile, I was pushing beverages and whatever she wanted to eat to help her have success.

We continued this way ALL day - timer every 15 minutes, she had to try when it went off, and we had quite a few successes with only 1 accident when she was playing and didn't tell us she needed to go. It is hard to know how long to have your child sit on the potty to "try" - Ellen won't sit there for any length of time if she doesn't feel she has to go. No use forcing her and enduring the battle.

This is an exhausting undertaking because you are constantly "on" - trying to catch them in the act. I try not to let Ells watch much TV regularly, but there are days she watches more than I would like. I didn't want her to watch much, if any, TV at the potty party because she can zone out. We played lots of Play-doh and read books and colored and played on the new iPad (hooray!) which is another good reward.

She got a diaper for nap, and slept well after an attention-packed morning. I am just choosing to continue using diapers rather than Pull Ups, mostly because they are less expensive and we have tons. I just made the distinction that diapers are only for sleeping. Also, Ellen is still in a crib. My bestie (the behavior analyst) commented that she didn't know of any kids who potty trained while still in a crib!?! Ellen hasn't shown ANY signs of getting out of her crib, so I'm leaving her there. Since she is wearing diapers in bed it isn't a big deal, and when she transitions to a big bed she will probably be closer to wearing undies at nap/bed and we can deal with that then.

After nap, she went straight from crib to potty and then right back in undies. We continued our routine for the afternoon with lots of success. She maybe told us once or twice all day that she needed to go, which I thought was really good.

We had a family dinner and ended it with chocolate cake with sprinkles and we congratulated her TONS on having such a great day of pottying! It helped that both sets of grandparents stopped by, too, to get in on the high fives.

On Sunday, we continued with a similar routine, but a little more relaxed and no pushing of fluids. We used the timer some in the morning, then just switched to asking her about every 15-20 minutes if she needed to go. We had an accident or two when she said she didn't need to go, but I think it is a learning experience to wet your pants and see that you don't like it! Of course, no reprimanding for accidents - just better luck next time! She still got rewards for potty success, but she also had to (attempt) wipe, flush and wash her hands to get a reward. She got a reward for dry undies if she asked, but she mostly forgot about it.

After three full days at home, I felt very good about her overall success with peeing on the potty. She was telling us more when she needed to go, though still requires quite a bit of prompting a week+ later. I have also found that sometimes she won't take the time to try to go unless I "threaten" her. Not a mean threat, of course, but if I know she hasn't peed in an hour or more and she wants to color with chalk or play Play doh, I'll tell her we can't do it until she peepees. Miracle of miracles, she almost always does! I won't claim that this is good parenting, but she is so anxious to play that she often won't sit long enough on the potty to give it a fair shot. And, I always try my hardest to get her to pee before we leave the house, and then we find the bathroom and try again when we get to our destination. We haven't attempted a Target run or grocery run yet, but the plan will be the same. Guess I better find all those bathrooms!

Also, after three full days at home, no poop success. More on that later ... I know you can't wait.

Potty Party! The Prep ...

We dove head-first into the potty training and have come out on the other side, relatively unscathed. I'll note here what we did for the future - perhaps it will be useful to you, too.

I think I might have mentioned that I attended a potty training class put on by my local Parents as Teachers group almost a year ago. It was way too early to be thinking about it, but I thought we might approach potty training before the next class rolled around. I would recommend something similar if you have access - it helps to recognize the signs of readiness and begin to formulate a plan of attack.

Just about 6 weeks ago I thought we weren't close to potty training, then our daycare teacher indicated that Ells was probably ready - she was successfully using the potty at school, was dry for a few hours at a time and was asking to go on occasion. Okay then. We waited until after our vacation, then went for it! It was earlier than I had planned / hoped, but I didn't want to miss our window of opportunity and 2 1/2 years is really the average age for potty training, which we are close to.

(To be fair, we had been talking a lot about the potty, trying before bath or bed or if Ellen asked, and working on her taking off her own pants or shorts. We read potty books here and there, not with an agenda, but just for general awareness.)

Most of my plan of attack was formulated by my bestie (the behavior analyst) and my other bestie (who writes down what the behavior analyst says). Bestie #2 potty trained her son earlier this spring, so I just did what she did!

Most of this is centered on the Potty Party / Potty Training In A Day idea. For a child who is ready, you can probably be reasonably potty trained within one day. Sound too good to be true? It isn't!

We started by talking about the upcoming "potty party" as soon as we got home from vacay. "In 1 week, no more diapers when you are awake! Are you excited for your potty party? You can wear undies!!" Blah, blah, blah ...

We shopped for big girl undies at Target - together. You must let them pick them out! And, we got tons - I bet about 35 pairs. Totally overkill, but you want to be sure to have PLENTY on hand for accidents the first weekend, and then if you need to send some to daycare or wherever. And word to the wise, the Circo brand undies are, shall we say, pretty form fitting. It seems like the underwear sizing for little girls is maybe different than clothes? I am so bad at that kind of thing. We ended up with size 4, because it was the smallest on the shelf, and it's fine for all the other brands.

I casually asked Ellen what surprise she might want at the end of her potty party and she asked for a chocolate cake with sprinkles. Easy. Done. (I think there may be some suggestion to actually take your child out of the house to a restaurant or some such as a surprise, but we elected not to.)

At our weekly grocery run, I had her point out treats she might like for her potty party. We never have juice boxes or chocolate milk in the house, but I planned to be a full-on beverage pimp, so wanted to have something enticing to her. I did a solo grocery run the Friday before our potty party and picked up a cart full of "junk": chocolate milk boxes, regular milk boxes, 2 kinds of juice boxes, jelly beans, M&Ms, salty snacks of all types, cereal bars, fruit snacks, fruit leathers, and a chocolate cake mix with sprinkles!

I also picked up a lot of treats / rewards / incentives. Each family will figure out the best way to do this - some use food and some don't. I elected to go kind of middle ground ... I'm not opposed to food as a reward, but I wanted her to have more to choose from so that she might not always pick candy. Our girl likes stickers, but not enough that I felt that stickers would really be rewarding to her. She does LOVE band aids, though, so I got several kinds of character band aids and cut up some stickers to all go in a box as her reward for each time she had dry undies.

When she successfully used the potty she got to pick from a box of bigger rewards: cereal bars, fruit snacks, fruit leathers, toys from the $1 aisle at Target, pieces of sidewalk chalk, small tubs of Play-doh, coloring books. Basically I just picked up some toys that I knew she already liked and that came in enough pieces that I could divide them up for rewards. I also happened upon an Elmo potty training coloring book that had a sticker chart. We read through the book the night before the potty party and she got to color in it the day of. The sticker chart worked for about 5 rounds of dry undies, and then she was over it.

I know this is really long ... I'll add the details of our day in another post. And then we'll get to the pooping - excitement!

Safety First

Have I titled another blog post this way? I think that pretty much means I am NOT in the running for mom of the year.

Just a heads up for you on a few safety scares of late ... don't want to find you shaking your head and pacing in the rain like I was.

#1 - "Travel Safety"
Our recent trip was super excellent, though left some parenting skills to be desired. On our first full day there, I put Ells down late for her nap in a pack n' play in a strange place - never a recipe for good napping. She seemed to be quiet, though the monitor wasn't working, so about 40 minutes into her "nap" I wandered to the bottom of the stairs to hear her yelling, "Mommy! Poopy!" Uhhhh ... at our house that means, "come change me!", but I wasn't sure what that meant elsewhere. Sure enough - I walk into the dark room to find her naked bum holding her diaper out over the edge of the pack n' play. Mind you, this is really only the second occasion that she has taken her diaper off in bed. I panic, then thank god that said poop is still entirely contained in the diaper and she hasn't peed in the meantime. I turn on all the lights, get her out of bed, and put her about 10 feet from me in the same room while I clean things up. Moments later I hear her spitting, and I round to the corner of the bed to find her spitting out Advil (!). She had managed to unzip our suitcase, get out my husband's dop kit, upzip it, find the (loose) Advil and started eating it. In like 2 minutes. Of course it looked just like candy, and thankfully didn't taste like it. GAH!

My point is ... medicine is clearly baby-proofed at our own house, though I didn't really think twice about throwing (relatively) loose medicine into my travel bag. Consider yourself warned.

#2 - "Have a spare"
Miss Ellen is a petite thing (well, to be fair, in height more than girth), but she does keep growing and is now tall enough to reach door handles and open doors. Our house is older, with some sticky doors and knobs, but she can mostly get into and out of wherever she wants. Soooo ... I was standing on the front porch Friday saying good-bye to a friend and Ells kept shutting the front door, and I kept opening it back up. Our front door generally is pretty sticky, so she couldn't shut it all the way. However. She did apparently learn to turn the little lock in the doorknob and slammed the door hard enough that I was locked out. In the (light) rain. With no spare key. The back door, which we usually use, was still locked because we hadn't yet been out for the day. I also learned that Ellen isn't super quick with the charades, but I did finally get back in. Lesson learned -get yourself a spare key to keep outside if you don't already! Soon enough your kid will be locking you out on purpose ...

I love me some Tina Fey

Sorry for the radio silence ... this potty training business is exhausting, on top of vaca-recovery and just general life-ness. I haven't paid this must intensive attention to my daughter since our first days home from the hospital and I think we are both tired of each other. :)

That being said, thanks to my friend Julie for giving me a laugh today via my friend (I wish!) Tina Fey. I know you've heard about her new book, Bossypants. I hope I can find some time to read it, and actually, maybe I can now that I am the owner of an iPad! Yessssss.

Back to the topic at hand .... Tina Fey's "The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter":

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Have baby, will travel: take 4

We successfully completed our 3rd airplane trip with Miss E, including her first purchased plane ticket. Booo. It is quite painful to pay hundreds of dollars for your toddler to have a seat on a plane, but I must say that it would have been a pretty miserable trip if Ellen was sitting on one of our laps (or more likely playing lap roulette) the entire trip.

I polled my friends via the Facebook about travel tips with toddlers and it was so interesting to see their answers! People were very evenly split about buckling your child in their car seat vs. checking the car seat for your destination. I was torn, but in the end we elected to check the car seat. Our theory was that we would check it on departure and, if the trip was a nightmare, we could buckle her in on the trip home.

She did great! We talked a lot in advance about wearing your seatbelt the whole trip, and there wasn't even a peep about getting out of her seat. In the end, I think you just have to judge how your child would likely behave. Ells is pretty content with food and DVDVs (yes, that is what she calls them), and I was willing to bet she would be content with an endless supply of fun new treats and Curious George movies for a mere 90 minutes without any plane changes. Turns out, I bet correctly. :)

Our rental car situation was SO much more pleasant with our own car seat vs. our previous attempt with their "vintage" car seat. We didn't even use a car seat bag - Southwest wrapped it up in a plastic sack for us - and things came out just fine.

My other tips are pretty minimal, but include packing a disposable plate/napkin/utensils if you will be traveling at mealtime. I packed a dinner of a fruit cup, PB&J sandwich, Horizon milk box (doesn't have to be refrigerated) and cheese stick. Everything fit in the standard approved quart bag and they didn't give me any hassle that the liquids weren't all 3oz. or less. We brought 2 suitcases for all 3 of us, plus 2 backpacks as carry-ons and it worked perfectly.

The best part of our trip, of course, was the destination. Watching our girl play with my best girlfriends' kiddos was just priceless. Tiring? Ummm, YES. New playmates apparently equals very poor sleep. None the less, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Another sale! Art!

I love the idea of having an oversized picture of your kid in your house, like really a huge quirky one.


These images are from Lilly's Notebook, via Lulu DK for Lonny.

I ordered a large canvas on sale from One Kings Lane a few months ago and I'm still trying to decide on which picture to use.

They are on sale again today from Chic Canvas, sale through 4/8/11 at 8am PDT.

If you don't have a OKL account, here is a referral link - they have lots of great sales!
https://www.onekingslane.com/invite/MollyLund

Let's check it out

Get it?
Check out?
Books?

Yep, we've finally made it to the library. I'm totally a slacker, as my mom is a former librarian and is still on the library board, but we just hadn't made it there. I feel like I checked out the infant story time and it didn't work with our schedule, and then I guess I just forgot about it.

Fast forward and story time is now on my day off, so we have been a few times and Ells is really getting into it. She loves to wander the aisles and pick out books to bring home, and these books are SO much more popular than the ones we already own. Of course.

I let her help me scan the books and get the receipt. We only had minimal trauma the first time we had to bring the books back, but now I think she gets the concept of "borrowing."

She did, however, rip a page out of one of the borrowed books. She has only done this about 3 times ever, so of course it had to be in a book we didn't own. Now we do own it, though, so if your child wants to rip a page out of a library book, make sure it is one you like!

Sunscreen Sale!

On this cold day, with flurries threatening, let's think about sunscreen!

I just got an email with a Deal of the Day that I thought was worth passing along (after I took advantage myself, obviously).

DailyCandy has some good daily deals they offer, though honestly I find that my inbox gets too clogged up with these types of things.

Today the deal is 25% off your purchase at 3floz. com, which is a website with a variety of beauty products that come in 3oz size or smaller for traveling. Or, if you just want to try a product, this is a good way! (Enter: DAILYCANDY25 at checkout)

So, you may not need beauty products, but they do offer my very most favorite sunscreen - SuperGoop! These products are pricey, but I love, love, love their sunscreen swipes and I also ordered the new SPF spray this year (so good for Ellen's scalp).

SuperGoop always offers free shipping over $40, but 3floz.com also offers free shipping over $50. So, with the discount, it is totally the way to go!

Happy shopping ... and here's to some sunshine in our near future!

For posterity

Ashley Ann's Under the Sycamore blog is one of my daily reads. I have about 4 must-read blogs each day (other than friends), and hers is one of them. I'm not exactly sure why - her crafty style really isn't my style, but I like her writing and I think her pictures are really great.

She had a good post last week about Getting in the Shot - putting yourself in pictures with your kids. I am totally guilty of not doing this, and it makes me sad. I have very few pictures of Ellen and me together, and they are mostly at holidays or birthdays - not the everyday stuff we do together.

I have been trying to make an effort - this is a picture of our "popcorn picnic" (snacks on cold/snowy days are miraculously more fun if they are served sitting on the floor on a blanket!). It isn't in focus (need more practice), but I'm happy to have the memory ...

In a mere 11 years ...

I know I've posted things before about the challenges of raising girls. Since I don't have a boy, I really can't comment on that, but it sure seems to me that there are special challenges we face raising girls. Maybe not now so much, but it's the future that scares the bejeezus out of me. The Huz says it all the time, too ... he sees little teenage girls shopping, or playing grab-ass with the young Bieber-ish kid, and he just shakes his head and mumbles.

I've also posted things from Clover Lane before. She is the mother of 5 kids (4 boys) and I like a lot of what she says about common sense parenting. Her post this week: What About Our Girls? Childhood Cut Short really made sense to me.

I agree that you can't raise your child in a bubble, but I also think it is true that the parents in your community influence how you parent your child, whether you like it (or admit it) or not. You can make the rules for your child, but if your child's 10 friends follow another rule, you might have a battle on your hands. Fight one battle? Sure. Fight 100? That will wear you down.

Up until now, Ellen's friends have been the children of our friends. Obviously, we like their parents and they probably have a similar parenting philosophy to us, but this means we have been choosing Ellen's friends. I think we are starting to get to the stage of playing with friends from school that SHE chooses. This is fun to see, but I suppose it also means the start of that parenting-play date dance. One of our friends said something a few months ago that rang true - when your child starts kindergarten, the other classroom parents will become part of your social circle for the next 13ish years, whether you like it or not.

Choose wisely. :)

Take a seat

Did you read about the new American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines for car seat safety?

You can read an article here: AAP's New Car Seat Guidelines Change Rear Facing & Booster Rules

We kept Ellen rear-facing in her convertible car seat until about 19 months, and would have gone longer if it wasn't for the pukey-puke fest that we had been enduring. She is short, with short legs, so we didn't have any trouble with her complaining about being cramped.

I found the new high-backed booster seat recommendation especially interesting ... I don't think Ellen will be 4 feet 9 inches tall until she is driving!

Penny Pinching

This isn't kid-related, so much, but maybe a good reminder to do some spring cleaning of your budget and finances.

I think we do a pretty good job of managing our finances, but we haven't done an in-depth budget and review credit reports since before Ellen was born and we were in that diapers-and-daycare-cost-how-much? phase. It was part of the nesting then, I guess, and now just part of some spring cleaning.

You can visit AnnualCreditReport.com to get a free copy of your credit report (1 per year from each of 3 companies). You have to purchase your credit score if you need it, but at least you would know if there were any potential issues on your credit history.

Erik also used to be pretty dedicated to entering all of our banking and credit card information into Microsoft Money, but really, who has time for that anymore? I just signed up at Mint and it seems like a pretty neat thing. You enter all of your banking / credit card / loan / mortgage / investment accounts and it sucks in all the information and has some budgeting formulas it uses. I haven't played around with it much, but you might find you like it. It's as secure as any other online banking service.

Finally, I am manually going back through the last year of our credit card and bank statements to classify our purchases into categories. Tedious? Totally. But, I want to have as accurate a picture of our spending as I can. You smart financial people probably already know that you can get a year-end summary on your credit card website (we put almost everything on our credit card and pay it off each cycle), where they either classify it by store or category - very helpful.

So, that's the spring cleaning we have going on around here. The next (overwhelming) task is the yard - who is coming to help?

Dare I say it?

Just as an update, I think I may actually be onto something with the cow clock and timer system we have going on at bedtime.

I first mentioned our KID'Sleep Alarm Clock back in September. I feel like it has been successful over the last 6 months, but the concept of staying quietly in bed until the "cow is dancing" is really sinking in. I would say that most mornings of the week, Ells wakes up before 6:30am (dance time!), but she stays relatively quiet until she sees the cow dancing. Then she promptly yells out, "Mom! Dad! Come get me! Cow dancing! I go downstairs!" and we're off for the day. I have been sneaking in before I go to bed to put a stack of books in her crib to keep her occupied, but she only gets her loveys and stuffed animals at bedtime.

I was a bit concerned about daylight savings, and this was really the big test. She got in bed about 8:00pm, so 9:00pm new time. I was afraid she would wake up, see her cow at 6:30am, and be awake for the day, when it was really 5:30am old time. I moved the alarm to 7:30am, and she didn't yell out until 7:34am. So, while this was still her "usual" wake time, I felt like it proved she was paying attention to the dancing cow and we didn't have any hitch with daylight savings. I'll take it!

As for the timer, I'm still pleased with our progress. The 20 minute window seems to be working and, while she might protest when the bell goes off, there is no longer a protracted tantrum and she (pretty readily) turns out the lights. We rock and sing in the chair for a bit, then into bed. I've noticed she is trying to draw out the scratch my back / covers / lovey routine once she gets in bed, but she is easier to quiet once her room is dark.

Prior to the timer, we had gotten into a bad habit of going back up to her room several times a night when she called out for any number of "necessary" things before she fell asleep. As a bonus, most of that has gone away since starting the timer. I'm not really sure the two events are related, but again, I'll take it!

(not?) A bunch of hooey

I mentioned that I attended a discipline class a week or so ago, based on the books of Dr. Becky Bailey and her Conscious Discipline workshops.

I was really looking for a time-out solution, as ours was hardly doing the trick. I had been working with a modified version of the Love and Logic Uh-Oh song, but hadn't been very consistent. We had a time-out corner, but I had to stand there with Ellen to try (try being the operative word) to keep her there for even 30 seconds. The Love and Logic guys say that standing in the corner (or going to your room, or whatever ...) should be punishment enough and you don't need to demand an apology or explain what your child did - they are smart enough to figure it out on their own. For older kids I agree with a lot of this, but the translation to toddlers is much more challenging. And, in the end, it never seemed to solve our issues.

So, fast forward to "The Safe Place". I'll admit that when I heard this in class I thought it sounded ridiculous, like a bunch of granola-flowerchild-parenting. Here is my brief explanation of what they taught us - I'm sure the books go into much more detail. The idea is that "Time Out" is replaced by "Safe Place". Kids between the ages of 15 months and 4 years are primarily in an "emotional state" and their primary concern is, Am I Loved? They are very egocentric at this age (yep, that sounds about right). So, by sending your child away for time out, you are contributing to the problem because they just want to be with you.

The Safe Place can be a favorite chair, or an item (doll / lovey), or even a parent. It can be in the room you are in, or close to it, just so the child isn't isolated. If Sally takes a toy from Suzie and hits her, then you can take Sally to the Safe Place, sit with her and help her talk through her emotions. "I can see that you were frustrated when Suzie took your toy, so you hit her. Let's sit in this safe place until you feel better." And when the child calms down, you can practice what you would change next time. A hug and a kiss, then back to playing. Eventually, the idea is that the child would just go to their Safe Place when they are feeling out of control and would re-join the group when they are feeling better.

Hooey, right?

So, the day after class, I found Ellen in the midst of some kind of meltdown. I just grabbed her, sat with her in a chair, and hugged her tight in a bear hug (to keep her from hitting me and biting me - where is my safe place?). I talked her through whatever the issue was, she calmed down, we hugged it out and she was fine - issue resolved. I was pretty impressed, actually. I used it several more times and felt it was a pretty successful technique.

HOWEVER.

I am pretty much the Safe Place at this point. If I am the object of her anger (which, let's face it, is often the case), she really doesn't want to be confined in a bear hug in a chair. We've got some kinks to work out, but I think it is always helpful to add some more tools to your discipline tool belt.

And, it has been pretty cute to hear Ellen say, "I upset. I have tears on my face. Hug?"