Birthday shirt

Last year, I bought a darling first birthday onesie with a cupcake on the front and the girl's name on the back. So, so cute. And, so, so $35 for a one-time wear.

This year, I wised up. I had seen lots of tutorials on freezer paper stenciling and thought this would be the perfect opportunity!

I mostly followed this tutorial on How About Orange. There are also similar instructions on Say Yes! to Hoboken with some really cute examples.

I found a font I liked and made it as big as possible to fit on one sheet of paper (about 640 point, I think this is called Euroscript, or something like that).

I bought a roll of freezer paper at the grocery store for less than $4. I could make about 100 shirts with this roll! Tape your image to the back (shiny) side of the freezer paper.

Flip it over and cut out very carefully with a sharp knife.

I know this picture is bad, but the next step is to iron the stencil on to the shirt (shiny side against fabric). I just got a plain white t-shirt at Target. Next time, I would get a 100% cotton shirt ... this one had some stretch in it, so I had to use a cooler iron setting and the stencil didn't stick perfectly. Also, one of the blogs had a tip to iron a full sheet of freezer paper on the inside to prevent bleeding of the paint, but I couldn't get that to work.

I had some fabric paint from previous projects, so I just used that and a sponge brush to dab it on pretty thickly. I did put a sheet of paper inside the shirt to prevent bleed-through. If your shirt is a light color, you can hold it up to the light to see if you have any patches that need more paint.

Follow the instructions on your paint and let it dry, then peel off the stencil. So Easy!! This was about a $10 project, and next time it would just be the cost of whatever item you are stenciling. The possibilities are endless ....

I don't follow my own advice

uh, woops.

Remember when I said that thing about not making birthdays a huge deal?

Well, I confess that I unwillingly made this 2-year birthday party a bigger deal than originally intended. It's just so fun, though ... how can you avoid it?

I randomly came across this cute circus-themed party for a 2-year-old and thought it would be the perfect theme for Miss Ells. Then, I remembered this post on Under the Sycamore about popcorn boxes. (Do you read her blog? She is a photographer and has great pictures of her kids with fun crafty projects). Turns out, Hobby Lobby has an entire line of circus-themed party supplies. All of these things conspired together to make me cross the border into crazy-birthday land.

Most of the craziness was crafty projects on my end - the party was still just our family and 2 little friends - but I do really enjoy the crafty part, so that counts for something, right?

I will post about some of the fun crafts this week. In the meantime, though, here is a fun birthday tip: have the special grandparents / aunts / uncles in your life call and leave a message on your voicemail for the little birthday girl or boy. Both grandmothers called Girly on her birthday and she sort of acted interested in holding the phone to her ear. One of her grandfathers, though, left a message because we were out of the house, and she asked to listen to it no fewer than 12 times!

And, here are a couple of blogs that have every cute party idea you could ever imagine!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Sara's Party Perfect

Dearest Girl

Dearest Ellen,

It is amazing to me that you have been a part of our lives for a mere 2 years, though I can hardly remember how we spent our time before you arrived. It hasn't been the easiest two years, but it has been rewarding and joyful and full of smiles. "Life with Ellen" is the life we want and we feel so fortunate to be your parents.

Birth to age 1 is almost a blur ... it was amazing to watch the change from a tiny, helpless newborn to an independent 1-year-old. The change from 1 to 2, though, has been even more remarkable to me. I love watching the wheels turn in your head as you figure things out. You are so inquisitive and surprise us daily with new things you have learned. I treasure your running commentary on our car rides and pride myself on figuring out 95% of what comes out of your mouth. Your newest phrase of, "Mama - what you doin in der?" brings an instant smile to my face.

As you approached 2, the mischievous twinkle in your eye grew even brighter and you like to stand your ground, particularly when I'm involved. My goal between 2 to 3 is to channel your passion into constructive activities - let's see how that goes. I always want you to stand up for what you believe in and to challenge those around you.

I love your questions (oh, the never-ending questions) and the science nerd in me can't help but be excited about the more complicated questions to come. When I see the light bulb go off in your head, it is thrilling. Quite literally, as I was writing this, I stopped to go up to your room to quiet you for a nap. "Why?" you asked. "Why nap, Mommy?" Oh, dear ...

You are a loving, cuddly, affectionate girl and find it endlessly entertaining that Daddy gives both Ellen AND Mommy kisses in the morning. You ask us to sit right next to you on the couch to read or watch a show, and I try to take advantage of every second, knowing full well that the day will come when you want to sit as far away from us as possible.

Our bedtime routine is very special and I feel lucky that your Dad and I both participate in bedtime most nights. You like to call the shots, and most nights we rock a bit before bed, either "just rock", or "rock and skatch-da-back". You lie down in bed and demand, "SKATCH-DA-BACK MOMMY!" and usually add, "in minutes". I giggle softly and generally comply with your demands, you lucky girl.

You have a delightful personality and often capture the eye of those around you. Yes, you have your moments of fake tantrums and flailing on the floor in public, but more often you enjoy parroting silly phrases that your Dad taught you, or shaking your booty to the music, or laughing out loud at the simplest of things.

We love you. We are proud of you. We are proud to be your parents. You have changed our life, from top to bottom, in the best possible way.

Happiest Birthday to you, darling girl.

Love, Mama

Anticipatory Guidance

In the paid job that I do 3 days a week (otherwise known as Keeping My Sanity), the concept of "anticipatory guidance" is something we use quite a bit. Basically, helping families think and talk through what they might expect in the near and far future as related to the health of their loved ones.

I have modified this for use at home, too.

Girly is quite verbal for her age and I've learned that she understands far more than I might have thought, and picks up on random pieces of conversations and pulls remote bits of information from her memory bank at the strangest of times. I think she has reached the developmental point where she understands more "If-Then" concepts, and has a basic understanding of time (yesterday / today / tomorrow). If we have something on the calendar that is a little out of our normal routine, I try to talk with her about it in advance to hopefully ease the transition.

So ... cue her first haircut!

I know first haircuts can be quite the tantrum-fest and, since we waited almost 2 years, I wasn't sure if it would be better or worse than average. I looked on YouTube for "sesame street + haircut" and found an old clip of Cookie Monster singing a song about haircuts. It is totally out of the 80's, and not that good honestly, but she asked to watch it over and over. We talked a lot about what happens when you get your haircut: special cape, spray bottle, comb, scissors ... all the while encouraging nice and sweet behavior, of course!

I think there are Sesame Street videos on an infinite number of topics. Or, if screen time isn't your thing, there are certainly books that address a lot of the same things, you just have to be organized enough to get to the bookstore, which I clearly am not.

The holidays are a great time for this, too. It is really fun to watch Girly get into the idea of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, though it is so hard to explain why they only last one day!

Serving size

I've been meaning to post this for awhile now - something I found pretty interesting from our last Parents As Teachers meeting ....

A serving is a level tablespoon for each year of your child's age.

Isn't this less than what you thought? So, for my 2-year-old, just 2 Tbs or 1/8 cup is a serving of whatever she is having.

Here are the guidelines for daily servings:
3 servings protein
4 servings bread / cereal
4 servings fruit / vegetable / both
4 servings milk /dairy

So, if your child subsisted on pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce with an occasional green bean, for the last 4 days like mine did - don't feel so bad!

Addicted

One of my favorite things I heard this year on NPR was about the power of email. My behavior analyst friend could describe it better, but remember your high school or college psychology class and the discussion about the power of intermittent reinforcement? Email is just that very thing ... the 7th, or 83rd, or 1,217th time you check your email you get that really great email from an old friend, while the rest of it is mostly crap. You keep coming back, though, hoping for that really great one again. (Same thing with blogs, I suppose, which explains why I choose to rot my brain with the internets rather than on Real Housewives of Big Cities).

So, it seems that someone else had the same idea about parenting. Exactly! I was with a group of high school girlfriends the other night and 2/3rds of us were lamenting the challenges of parenthood. One of the child-less among us was appalled and asked why we did such a thing? While it is a fair question I ask myself from time to time, I explained that when you laugh harder with your child than you have in weeks, even in the midst of a day full of battles, it just keeps you coming back for more.

See what you think ...

Slate's article: Parents Are Junkies (If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we are addicted).

Jinx

Shhh ... don't tell Girly I'm telling you this ...

It has finally happened. She has become a reasonable napper and is getting up at a reasonable time. (Cue hallelujah chorus here).

Everyone kept telling me that after she started walking and expending more energy, she would become a better napper. This just wasn't true for her and I have my suspicion that girls (of the calmer variety) just don't get that busy until closer to their 2nd birthday. Within the last month, I have started to be able to count on a 1 1/2 hour nap at a minimum, closer to 2 hours on average, and 2 1/2 hours on a great day. It is heavenly.

The week or so prior to daylight savings, she had started to sleep until 6:00am every morning, with most mornings at 6:15-6:30am, and even an occasional 7 or 7:15am!! Daylight savings threw us (and everyone else) for a loop for just a few mornings, and even 5:40am was bearable because I knew it would have been 4:40am not that long ago.

I don't know that I can take any credit for this (though, I still swear the sleeping/dancing cow clock helped), but I'm so so SO happy that her inner clock has lined up a little better with the rest of our household.

Here's to hoping that it happens at your house, too ....

"Strong willed" is saying it nicely

Oh yeah, another tidbit from that blocks class I mentioned.

Girly was a nightmare.

Not a nightmare of the Freddy Krueger variety, but certainly a nightmare on her spectrum of "sweetest/nicest to oh-my-god-who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-kid."

I picked her up from school, came prepared with snacks, and thought she would really enjoy something different. There were about 20 kids between 8 months and 3 years and she was, by far, the most disruptive in the room. Granted, a room full of 20 small tykes and lots of blocks will already be disrupted, but she didn't do anything to help the situation. All of the teachers and parents were understanding of course, but I was caught off-guard by her behavior and challenged to respond appropriately in the moment. We got our first "wow, she is busy" comment, and not really in a nice way. We left 25 minutes into the 90 minute class.

What happened to my sweet girl who sat quietly and observed? Oh yeah, TWO happened.

I know this is par for the course (it is, right?), but I will say that it isn't much fun.

It also taught me an important lesson ... this event was for Girly and I thought she would have fun. She didn't and made that abundantly clear to me. I need to be flexible enough to change plans when the situation isn't working for us. From a Love and Logic perspective, I also feel that if I can learn to respond - calmly - in the moment, and validate Girly's feelings, she will eventually act out less. And, in those situations where we can't be flexible, she will eventually be more willing to comply because she knows that I listen to what she is telling me.

I think that's how it might work, anyway - but what do I know? Wishful thinking, I tell you ...

I'm sold

Are you reading Ain't No Mom Jeans? I've posted about them before, but just in case ... you really should head over there now.

It's not that I care so much about what I look like - my style (style? do I have a style?) is simple, affordable and comfortable. I am far from the trendiest person on the block. I wear mostly plain colored clothes and few patterns (as my good friend says, curly hair is kind of enough pattern on its own!). Finally, at age 32, I am getting better at realizing that I should never buy turtlenecks or crewneck shirts. The issue I have is that the post-pregnancy body is harder to dress, at least for me. Do you have that squishy stuff around your waist that looks bad under fitted shirts? Blech.

So, this brings me to my new style secret - wear a belt. Around your waist. Lots of the time. I had seen this accessory all over the place, and was slow to adopt it, and then Ain't No Mom Jeans cemented it for me.

A fitted shirt with a long boyfriend sweater looks kind of shlumpy on me. But - add a skinny belt around the sweater? Defines the waist just enough, while said sweater still hides the squishy stuff.

A peasant shirt with jeans? Thanks, but having a friends' father ask when the baby was due - months before I got pregnant - was one time too many for me. The belt preserves the best aspect of the flowy shirt (camouflage!) while still showing that you have a waist.

I am really liking the skinny belts from J. Crew this fall - they have great colors and metallics and you can usually find some on sale. I am terrible about accessorizing with jewelry, so a silver belt does double duty for me. I wish I could say that Target had belts that were just as cute, but it sadly isn't true.

Give it a shot - your waist will thank you!

A-ha moment!

Our Parents as Teachers educator came for our 22-month visit and she gave us a flier on an upcoming class about block-building. She mentioned that Americans focus primarily on reading and music skills in early childhood, while many Asians focus primarily on math and science skills in early childhood. I had never heard anyone phrase it this way, but it was a total light bulb moment for me!

Think about it ... what activities are aimed at young children? Music classes and reading time at the library. We have gajillions of books and Girly loves reading them, which I obviously encourage. She loves playing with musical instruments and listening to music. I think these are important skills, but I wish I could say that I put an equal emphasis on math and science skills, but I don't and I bet you don't either.

Playing with blocks is a good way to build understanding of math and science concepts - they say it helps develop numeracy (the understanding of numbers in everyday life), just like literacy is the understanding of letters and words. You probably already use a lot of math and science words in your normal play with your kiddo, but I've never focused on them.

Math words: long, tall, narrow, order, top, square, less, more, curve, add, count, outside, triangle, lines, patterns, big, little, rectangle ...

Science words: rough, smooth, smallest, heavy, whole, bigger, after, first, next, balance, light, weight, gravity, system ....

Don't underestimate your child's ability to learn these concepts!

Pseudo slacker

Last week for Girly's Halloween party at school, I signed up to bring tablecloths. Then, I felt bad and agreed to bring cheese and crackers, too. Sure, it was participation, but I have unreasonable Martha-goals for myself and feel guilty when I don't make something from scratch.

So, in a moment of inspiration, I realized that I had tiny "fall" cookie cutters in my drawer for lord knows what reason. I think I got them at Michael's in the $1 bin several years ago and they have never been used, other than thrown around the kitchen by Girly. I just cut the slices of cheese into fun pumpkin, bat and moon shapes and slapped it on a paper plate. It was fun, kid-friendly, and looked like I made an effort. In other words, score, score, SCORE.

I think I had the popular bento-style lunches in the back of my brain somewhere. Have you seen those? Another Lunch is a great blog with totally cute ideas. I would love to make and receive a lunch like that - but - let's be honest. Who the hell has time? If that was part of the daily program at our house, it would look more like me running around at 6:55am, trying to make coffee and peel a banana, and searching for the freaking bunny toothpicks.

So, again, in other words - not going to happen.

Remove the offender

We spent most of our weekend locked in a battle of wills over picking up.

Girly has reached the age where she is certainly capable of picking up her toys. She used to do it with pleasure, but as 2 approaches, she uses it as a stall tactic or to annoy her mother. She spent a lot of time in the time-out corner, then finally asked to spend time there. She willfully pushed her toys or magnets or noodles into a pile, as if she was going to pick them up, then kicked them all over the place. Exasperating, FOR SURE, and did not bring out the best in me.

I am trying to work hard on curtailing the whining - by ignoring her - but there are only so many things I can ignore and only so many threats I can issue. (I try very hard to 'threaten' with only the things I am willing to follow-through on. So, "if you ever want to eat again you better pick up!" is not a very good threat.)

I finally realized the problem - I need to remove the offending item. There are certain items in our house that are guaranteed triggers of bad behavior (like alcohol for alcoholics and drugs for crackheads - she is addicted to mess). She used to love to pour noodles from bowl to bowl - now they are shrapnel in our kitchen. She loved to play with magnets on the refrigerator - I saved all the sports schedules that came in the mail - and now she yields them as swords. Little General Custer and I had our Last Stand over the linoleum floor many a time this weekend.

No more.

You won't pick up your noodles after countless time-outs and threats? Fine. I'll sweep them up and throw them away.

You won't pick up your magnets without collapsing to the floor in melodramatic fashion? Fine. I'll throw them away.

It won't work for everything ... the Love and Logic folks say not to threaten to throw away toys unless you are really willing to throw them away forever ... but it will help limit the battles, I think.

Or, if I'm really honest with myself, the battle will just move to another item. Items.

Sigh ...

Pardon the interruption

Between a vacation, a post-vacation stomach bug (not the detox I was looking for), sewing a Halloween costume, and cutting toddler fingernails that had somehow become claws, this Mama is BEAT DOWN.

See you back here soon ....

Yes or No?

I followed the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom blog pretty closely when Girly was a bitty babe - very helpful to me with all of the sleeping, eating, sleeping and sleeping some more. I haven't read any of the Babywise books after the newborn one, so I don't read her as closely anymore, but I do check in from time to time.

I thought this post was a good cosmic reminder for me to LOOSEN UP!!

Yes When You Can, No When You Must

Canines

Dear Tooth Fairy,

You may be pretty and you may bring gifts, but I am no fan of yours. This latest round of teeth is a doozey - are you going to pay extra for these when they fall out?

Sincerely,
Mama with drool handprints on all of her things

I thought our girl had a rough time with teething in the past, but it has been nothing compared to this latest round. Her upper canines are for sure coming in, with some more on the bottom just erupting and I think maybe some more molars? All I know is that Girly constantly has her hands in her mouth (practically shoved down her throat) and drools all over the place. And has been doing it for 2+ weeks now.

Poor thing has been waking up early screaming, which has negated some of the cow-is-dancing training that we had going. I give her Motrin in the 4's or 5's and then she will go back to sleep until the cow is awake. :)

Early mornings aren't so rare around here, but she started a new thing of screaming at bedtime for 30 minutes to 1 hour. It partly coincided with my vacation out of town, but I think also had something to do with her teeth. I tried the cry-it-out, but it was just pitiful. I finally gave her a frozen washcloth at bedtime to chew on (our go-to teething aide) and she went down without a peep. Hallelujah.

I've also started a countdown at bedtime that seems to eliminate some of our power struggles (just with me, mind you - that mother/daughter thing starts early). We rock in the chair with her blanket and I tell her we'll rock until I count to 10. Then, I lay her in bed and she asks me to scratch her back (skatch da back!!) - I tell her that I will scratch her back until I count to 5, then it is time to close her eyes and go to sleep.

I like this cuddle time and it it sweet to see her ask for it, but all of these sweet things add on top of each other until our 'brief' bedtime routine lasts 30 minutes. Not exactly what I am looking for when mama still has to make dinner ...

Friday Funnies, take two

Yes, I'm kind of dialing it in this week. Sorry 'bout that.

Just came across this tonight ... is it bad karma to laugh at this?

Shit My Kids Ruined

And, really, poop gloves? So help me ....

R & R

Rest.
Relaxation.

Does any of that exist in parenting?

I will say that I had a little dose this weekend and it was heavenly. Heavenly.

Here is my prescription for you:

Make plans for a girlfriend get-away with your best buddies. Ours happened to be hours (by plane!) away from home, but I think you could do it in your very own neighborhood. Send your spouse and kid(s) away, have the girls over, break out the snacks and adult beverages and enjoy yourself! Sleep in! Don't make 6 meals a day unless they are for yourself! You can do it!

Here is my second prescription, and one that I need to follow myself:

Set up a regular date night with your spouse. Two of my girlfriends started to do this regularly on Sundays nights after their 2nd child was born. I wish we had date night more often, and I'm sure I'll really long for it if a second child ever comes to live in our house. You must make it a habit - put the kids down (or not), go to dinner and try hard to talk about things other than naps, daycare and bills.

It's good for everyone's soul.

Let's lighten things up a bit, shall we?

Some funny for your Friday ...

The Good Enough Baby, courtesy of The New Yorker.

Take two

I read this article a while ago and thought it was pretty thought provoking. I planned to try to write something insightful to go along with it. Whether I'm ever insightful is debatable, but today? Not a chance.

So. Here's where I am:

The thought of a 2nd child is pure craziness.

This doesn't help.

All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting

post at Rookie Moms (read their take on it, too)

Discuss.

Reading labels

Ahhh, yes, the crazy continues.

Do you pay attention to the parabens, phthalates, sulfates and other -ates in the myriad of products in your bathroom? I swear, I'm just now getting a handle on the food in our house and the sunscreen we use, and now I feel the need to tackle every other product in our house.

I don't know where I picked up the bug, but it seems there has been an article in every magazine that has entered our house in the last few months about the dangers of lurking chemicals. I have paid pretty close attention to the products we use for Girly, but you will be surprised by the 'dangerous' chemicals that are in a lot of those products if you read carefully. Just because it looks healthy or natural doesn't mean it is. I haven't thought much about what the adults in this house use, which is kind of silly. If I care about one of us, I should care about all of us.

There is certainly a lot of debate about whether these things are actually dangerous or not. I guess I am choosing to err on the side of caution ... if I can find a product that is equally good without them, why not use it?

Therein lies the problem, though, because it can be a big challenge to actually find a product that you like equally as well. I have searched a lot on the Cosmetic Safety Database, which seems to be a good resource, but it can be a challenge to find a lot of their highest rated products without going to the ends of the earth or spending my whole paycheck on internet shipping.

This is a (seemingly) balanced article from Real Simple: What are parabens and do I need to worry about them? I think it makes sense to take a logical approach to changing your products. Start with the products you use the most (hand soap, body soap, shampoo/conditioner, lotion) and those that cover a large percentage of your skin.

I've just been replacing products when they run out with a 'better' option. It seems wasteful to run out and replace everything all at once. I'm also pretty budget conscious, which can be challenging because many of these products are $pricey$. So far, I am liking the Kiss My Face lotion and Whole Foods 365 mint shampoo and conditioner. Surprisingly, Costco also has a citrus bodywash and shampoo and conditioner that are paraben and phthalate free. I really like the California Baby stuff for Girly, but Johnson and Johnson just came out with a Natural option that looks promising. I had already been using an Arbonne skin care system, which is also free of a lot of the nastiness. Sadly, our beloved Cetaphil does have some of the nastiness, which is just sad because that is a good product that is hard to replace.

I haven't tackled shaving cream yet, or make-up or hair products. You curly-haired girls know what I am talking about - it is quite the gamble to switch up the products and I hate to spend money on something that might not work. Baby steps ....

What are the good products you use?