Free! Parenting Classes!

What, you don't need them?

I do.

From our friends at Rookie Moms -

Webinar classes next Tuesday, August 30th, at 2pm and 9pm eastern time.

I'll see if I can tie my child up because she won't be napping or sleeping and maybe I can attend. (See? I need them.)

Get it together

I really can't get my shit together these days, so sorry about that.

I did come across these two articles / blog posts and thought they were well written and/or thought provoking. Maybe you will think so, too?

I found this first one via Dash and Bella, which is a great food/cooking blog with kiddos. This gal seriously does crazy amazing things with her kids. This article is about pot smoking and Disney World, which are generally two things I know nothing about, though I laughed out loud several times at the (lengthy) article late last night, which does not come easy at the end of a long day. I really like the author's style of writing.
You Blow my Mind. Hey Mickey!

The second post is more typical Mom-fare from our friends at Rookie Moms. It was a link to an old post about Victory Babies. I had never heard the term, but it was interesting to read - and the comments, too. From time to time I read about moms who feel like they were "cheated" when their first birth didn't go exactly as planned and they have a nagging to desire to make it right the next time. My first delivery was pretty much the exact opposite of what I envisioned, and scary to boot, but ended in a wonderful miracle and I have zero-zilch-nada regrets about the whole thing. And, truthfully, I would sign up to do it again tomorrow.

Do you have a secret or not-so-secret desire for a victory baby?

We do have some things lurking in toddler land at our house, such as poor sleeping, thinking about dropping the nap?, transitioning to big girl bed and big girl room, moving up to the Balloons room at school, general nose-turning-up-at-vegetables - you know - all the fun stuff!

Someday I'll fill you in on all the details.

Probably.
Definitely.
Maybe.

Thought provoking

I came across an interesting article today about how we talk to girls.

A Cup of Jo is a blog that I don't read frequently, but other blogs I read link to her content all the time. She had this nice post Motherhood Mondays: How to talk to little girls. She references an article by Lisa Bloom in The Huffington Post by the same title.

I guess I find that I am always squealing over little girls' hair and clothes and shoes because they are so stinkin' cute (!), but I sure would rather engage their brains.

Note to self: try harder.

You, too?

Uncomfortable topic?

So, here's one for you ... anyone got any great tips on talking to a toddler about death?

Ellen had a nice man who volunteered in her classroom at school and read books several days a week for over a year. I never met him, but she always talked about him fondly. Unbeknownst to me, he had retired from his job when he found out he had cancer and decided to spend whatever time he had left doing things he enjoyed. It is just about the nicest, and saddest, story. I didn't know he was sick and he died recently.

Here is the sticky part for me ... Ellen didn't know he was sick, either. His family wanted to involve the children in his memorial service and asked for us to attend, which was very nice, yet also very uncomfortable for me. I felt I needed to have some conversation with Ellen about what happened before going, but I also felt that we shouldn't not go just because it made me uncomfortable.

We aren't really a religious family and I feel like I don't have a good framework for discussing death in terms she might understand. She also currently has a total obsession with doctors and doctors offices and the things that happen there. I don't want her to be fearful of getting sick and not getting better.

Turns out we couldn't go to the service for another reason, but I still think I need to address this.

Help?

Vacation

We are not on vacation. In fact, it's like we are doing the exact opposite of vacation.

Nonetheless, maybe you are on vacation? (If so, have a drink for me, but don't send a postcard. We're moving. And I'd be jealous.)

I came across this and it seemed like a good tip to file away for the future. Our first roadtrip with a toddler could be summed up with the word "disaster". Next time (if there is a next time?) maybe something like this would work ...

Tips for Road Trip with Kids by 320*Sycamore

For your list

I found this list of great children's picture books over at Design Mom. We have read a lot of them, but certainly not all.

I'm going to print the list and add it to our library bag ... I find that I'm always wanting to seek out good books, but I never have a list, so I resort to choosing by covers. Sometimes this works, sometimes not (i.e. the book we brought home about dying dogs).

Then, I am also usually chasing Ellen through the chapter book section as she pulls books off the shelf and says, "I big now, Momma. I read this book. I big. I big like you."

Here ya' go - happy library-check-outing!
Design Mom's Top 50 Picture Books

This will tug at your heart a little

We have a sweetie sweet sweet new little niece who is the tiniest human being I've ever held. We had a great family get-together and it was fun and shocking to see this tiny new being amongst the now huge-appearing cousins. Where has the time gone?

I find that mothering (and fathering, I spose, though I won't speak for them) is such a balance of hurry-up-let's-get-going and stop-right-there-and-let-me-burn-this-on-my-brain-forever.

Not to get all granola on you, but this guest post by Tara Thayer at Soule Mama says it much better than I can ...

Soulful Mothering

Some follow-up

I've been meaning to post about one of our favorite baby gear items that has made a re-appearance in our house. The Boppy!

I expressed my Boppy love previously - it was the perfect nursing accessory for us. Then after Ells was weaned, it made its way to the linen closet, never to be heard from again. Ellen pulled it out a few months ago - she had seen her baby cousin use it and wanted to get it out for her to play with. Then she asked to put it in her crib. Then I realized it is the perfect pillow!

I guess some toddlers like pillows and some don't, but she really loves her Boppy pillow. And, what's not to love? It's kind of like a baby version of those body pillows. Washable cover. Done. She was riding it around as a horse last night, too - the fun never ends.

Also, switching gears, some Dentist follow-up. I posted a few months ago about our prep for the first visit. I just wanted to say that it was wildly successful! Ellen was a great patient, so compliant, and not a peep or a tear. She even talked to the dentist about germs and sugar and plaque, for heaven's sake! We watched the Bucky the Beaver DVD no fewer than 37 times and it was sad to return it to the library. Almost 2 months later she is STILL talking about the dentist and she likes to pretend play dentist quite a bit. She still fights us on brushing at bedtime, but I'll take it!

Lucky

I'm probably late to the game on this, but just came across this nice article for Father's Day.

A Father's Day Wish: Dads, Wake the Hell Up!

For me, it was just a good reminder how lucky I am to have a spouse that fully participates in our daughter's life. I am also super lucky to have come from a household with a Dad that fully participated in my life. It's pretty easy to take those things for granted and some reminding is helpful every now and then.

I hope you can count yourself in the lucky category, too.

A jellybean?

Ellen asks for a jellybean ....

What for? I say

"For the manners"

What manners?

"Please and thank you"

Well, it's a start, I guess.

I saved this article from Parents magazine this Spring on "25 Manners Every Kid Needs by Age 9" - I think I have some work to do.

Cute clothes!

I'm on a spending hiatus, but recently discovered that I love Olive Juice Kids clothes (much to the chagrin of my checkbook). I bought some on Gilt during a sale a month or so ago and the quality is great and the styles are so classic.

Gilt is having another sale today!
If you aren't a member, you can use my link: http://www.gilt.com/invite/mollylund

Happy shopping!

Ugh, slacking

Well, let's just really call it a summer hiatus.

All of a sudden I feel like I can't get anything accomplished? You, too? It doesn't help that my list of things to accomplish keeps getting longer, but I do love me some task-scratch-offing.

Here is one thing on the list: a Mom-friendly swimsuit

Got a good source for me?

I do have a cute one piece from J. Crew that I got before our Hawaii trip (almost 2 years ago - whaaa), but it really isn't toddler-chasing, swim-lesson-appropriate.

I think I need a 2 piece, as to avoid shimmying out of a wet one piece if I have to pee whilst wrangling a slippery child. The top piece, though, needs to be long enough to cover up the "mom" part.

I keep trying to get to Land's End to try on their suits (nothing says Mom like Land's End). I love the J Crew suits, but not sure that my budget can justify that.

Help a momma out!

Girls and boys

A few quick "Girl" and "Boy" things for your Friday ...

I realized we have about enough dresses for Ellen to wear a different one each day this summer! She hasn't worn many dresses in the past, mostly because they got in her way when she was a crawler and a new walker, and then it wasn't dress season. Now, though, she is obsessed with things that "tirl" (twirl). She gets up, goes potty, then puts on undies and a skirt or dress each day. Today she had to feel the fabric of each one to see if it passed muster (so help me God).

Here's my tip #1 though: I bought quite a few dresses last summer on sale for this summer. I just bought 2T because I thought they would be plenty big, and now I think she'll be out of them by mid-summer. She is a shorty with short arms, but dresses are perfect for her and the size is more forgiving - next time I'll remember to size up.

Tip #2 (or really, need a tip #2) - I've realized that big girl dresses don't come with bloomers, which annoys me so much. For an active little girl, I hate to have her undies showing when she is playing. It is surprisingly hard to find bloomers for bigger girls that might actually match the dress she is wearing. I swear I had read about some boy-short type product for little girls called something like "I see London, I see Francies", but I can't find it with the Googling. Gah. Any suggestions?

And, because I don't know anything about boys, I don't have any good tips, but I do have a good party suggestion. Well, a good suggestion for someone who isn't crazy OCD like me. Yet again, it's from Ashley at Under the Sycamore - Mad Run birthday party. It's a huge, muddy obstacle course for boys! Send me some pictures of you hosting this party and cleaning up afterwards!

Also, courtesy of Ashley at Under the Sycamore, some fun summer ideas for kids:
Meg's Craft Thursday Projects
Martha's 60 days of Summer for kids
Wondertime's 12 activities for kids
Digital Reflections 100 free activities to do with kids this summer

And, on a related note, it's summer already? When did that happen?

Technical difficulties

A crashed laptop with a destroyed hard drive does not a good blogger make.

I had actually backed-up most of everything, save for the last 2 months. There were still tears when I thought about the pictures and videos that might have been lost. I still don't know if I have everything, but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.

Please, friends. Don't do that to yourselves. If you are like me and ALL of your precious pictures and videos of your child live on your computer, you just cannot risk something happening to it.

I'll get back to some mom stuff soon, but for now my parting advice to you ...

Go right now and backup everything on your computer. Use an external hard drive AND an online subscription service (I use Backblaze) AND burn favorite photos and movies to a DVD AND put important work files on a thumb drive (and I'm going to experiment with Dropbox).

You know, just in case.

Also, and this is a bummer one, be sure to back-up your browser bookmarks or favorites in a file on your desktop. All of those carefully selected blogs and websites that I've accumulated over the last 4 years? Yep, gonesville.

True, this is minor trauma. I've had friends, though, who have had their laptop AND external hard drive stolen, or our incredibly sad neighbors in Joplin who just lost everything in an instant - you just don't know what might happen tomorrow.

Protecting your memories can make a sad situation just a little bit better.

Go.
Now.
Do it.

I hope you never have to thank me, because I hope it never happens to you.

Survivor: Child Island

I can't take credit for the title - I read it somewhere (maybe in the comments of this link?) - but I chuckled and thought it sounded just about right for many a day.

I wrote down some Mom advice at a baby shower the other day and my #1 tip was that you get to start over each day! If you feel like you were an a-hole one day, or if your kid ate 3 bags of graham crackers for a meal, or if they went to bed with dirty feet, no worries. You get to try again!

In full disclosure, I'm not this laid back all the time, but I am getting better. There is something about having a living, breathing, talking toddler around ALL the time that makes me feel reassured that I haven't already screwed things up too badly.

Here is where I got the idea - go read Survivor Mom at Motherhood Uncensored. Make yourself feel better today. Then go have wine.

Stay in your seat!

Another transition around here ... not a huge one, but still a change to our days.

We had still been using our Inglesina Fast Table Chair that I loved SO much for the majority of Ellen's meals. It was fast, simple, and best of all - it CONFINED her.

We have been having more family dinners - probably 3-4 times a week - and it has been challenging (at best) to have her stay in her seat to eat dinner. She has a little booster and we all sit at our dining room table. Initially, she would stay in her seat pretty well to eat, but then asked to get down to play. We have pretty much instilled the "stay at the table until everyone is finished eating" rule, but the "stay in your seat" part isn't working out so well. She asks to sit with me or Dad, which is a habit I don't like, but she also eats a better dinner if she is sitting with one of us. What to do?

So, we had a few parties and the high chair came down. I really wanted to put it back up, but she is certainly old enough to learn to sit in her chair and eat a meal. She does it at daycare with a table full of kids, so I know she can do it at home.

All of her meals are now served at her little table and chair set in the kitchen. She is not good at sitting still and eating her meal, and there are lots of ups and downs, but I think I am seeing some (slow) positive improvement.

Yet another one of those things that is challenging as a parent, yet good for your kid. Theme #1,467 of parenting, I suppose ...

MacGyver

Maybe I'm the last person to figure this one out ...

Ells eats lots of tacos - seems that everything is more appealing when rolled up in a tortilla. She does, however, tend to have a meltdown when the contents fall out the bottom.

Finally last week, after lots of taco tears, I folded up the bottom like a burrito and secured it all with a toothpick.

Disaster averted.

It's the little things, right?

A trip to the Dentist can be lots of fun ...

I feel like the puppet master today.

Miss Ellen is scheduled for her first trip to the dentist on Friday. I feel like we might be late for this, which makes me nervous. If you know anything about me, it is that I am a rule-follower. I haven't had anyone firmly state that we need to get to the dentist (I think the AAP says 1 year, several friends have said 2 years or 3 years), but I still feel like I am going to get a slap on the wrist by the dental police.

(As an aside, I have a new theory on personality: I think you can tell a lot about a person by the type of toothpaste they choose in the dental office. Me? Always mint, every time, since early childhood. Pretty much tells the story, right?)

So. I don't know if I've really documented our battles related to The Brushing Of The Teeth, but it is generally the most unpleasant task of our day. I have tried every trick I can think of, with only short-lived success. Ells does generally respond well to authority figures, so I am hoping our friendly Dentist will give me a little boost in this department.

I took the same approach to our first dentist visit as I did for her first haircut - videos! There are quite a few Sesame Street dentist videos on YouTube. (And, seriously, look at this one on The Girl and her Llama at the dentist! My memory is crap and I TOTALLY remember this - what IS this all about?)

So, anyway, we made a trip to the library this morning for books about the dentist, but came away with a DVD ("A trip to the dentist can be lots of fun!"). Ells asked to watch it before nap and she was thoroughly enthralled by the puppet, Bucky the Beaver, and his visit to Dr. Rob.

I caught her singing the song before nap (... a trip to the dentist can be lots of fun ...).

She asked to brush her teeth before nap.

She woke up and said, "Mom. I HAVE to go the dentist!"

See? Like I said ... puppet master.

(And, at the risk of sounding like I know what I'm doing, I'll be sure to report back on our actual experience in the special chair!)

Potty Party! The poop ... literally

We had three very successful days of peepee on the potty, but not so much with the poop. I knew it would be a challenge and many kids are #2 trained quite awhile after #1, but I was not looking forward to figuring this out.

In preparation, we had been talking lots about pooping in the potty for days in advance. We read the 'Everyone Poops' book over and over and over. We flushed the poop from her diaper in the toilet so she could see it. Didn't think I would talk so much about poop in my entire life.

Day one of potty party and she had a poop accident, which was pretty much to be expected. She didn't like it and was upset and wanted to get it fixed pronto. We still flushed the poop and explained that we would try again and she needed to let us know next time. I know you don't care about all the pooping habits of my child, but she isn't the kind of kid that gives much warning. I think she pooped again in her diaper at naptime and bedtime, which was fine, and I was happy she went because I didn't want to get into some nasty withholding-constipation nightmare.

The next day, I caught her mid-poop and had the portable potty right next to me in the family room and I just sat her down and tried to get her to finish. I was trying to be happy and relaxed and we read books and sang songs, but she couldn't relax. She kept trying to stand up to poop, poor thing. I don't blame her - when you do it that way for almost 2 years, must be hard to switch! (One tip is to try to catch your kiddo before they poop and just sit them on the potty, clothed and with diaper, so they can get used to pooping while sitting). I think she pooped again in her diaper for the rest of the weekend, when she was in bed, so we sent her off to school on Tuesday without any poop success over the weekend.

Same story all week, poop in diapers with maybe one accident at school. She did really great with peeing on the potty all week at home and school. She was home again Friday with me and I was really hoping we could make some progress. I'll provide more details than you want, but only because it might help. (Truthfully, I'm sure all of this is more detail than you want!) We were relaxing and reading books before nap and she still had her undies on (change to diaper just before bed) and she tooted ('Scuze me!). I asked if she needed to poop and she didn't protest very vigorously, so I sat her down on the potty in "her" bathroom. I don't know what possessed me, but I told her I would stand outside the (open) door and give her some privacy. I guess it did the trick because IT WORKED!

I laid on the praise like you wouldn't believe, she was proud of herself, and we called Daddy at work to share the good news. (You could sense the thrill in his voice. Ha!)

The next day, we tried again before nap in the same way and she did it again! Hip, hip, hooray!

So, by Sunday we were at our 3rd day in a row of no accidents at all, peeing and pooping on the potty. I asked her before lunch if she needed to poop and she said yes. Get thee to a potty, child! She now asks for "pi-vacy" - which is hilariously cute - and is quite proud of her success. On Sunday night, she was monkeying around in bed and when Daddy went to tell her to go to sleep she said she needed to poop, and lo and behold, she did! I thought this was quite the milestone, and I'm crossing my fingers the success continues.

So, in long-winded summary, we are 8 days into wearing undies as I write this. I think it is going great! I still do lots of prompting, probably more than necessary, and am working on finding the right balance of getting her to go when needed without setting up power struggles. We do a lot of - "time to go potty!" and she asks for 2 more minutes playing, so we set the kitchen timer and she goes in 2 minutes. She responds well to this because she feels in control of the situation, which I am mostly fine with, unless we need to get out of the house.

I'm still pretty gun-shy with the running errands and such. We haven't had any car accidents (yet) ... will let you know how that works out for us.

Potty Party! The day of ...

Have you been perched on the edge of your chair awaiting the rest of the details? Right. Didn't think so.

Nevertheless ...

We had our supplies:
- installed potty seat in all bathrooms
- portable potty in the room with us (just in case)
- small rewards (stickers / band aids) for dry undies
- bigger rewards for potty success (toys / food / small candy)
- lots of undies
- beverages and salty snacks
- activities to keep busy!

We had been talking up big girl undies for several days and were committed to undies from that point forward whenever she was awake. I explained that diapers were for sleeping and I know that it will be awhile before she is dry overnight - her diapers are still soaked in the morning, and almost always wet after nap.

(And, to be fair, this was our experience. Our girl had been successfully using the potty at daycare for almost 2 weeks, so this wasn't a huge new experience to her. We probably had an easier time of things than some others ...)

We started our day, bright and early, with both Mom and Dad on deck - no sleeping in this time! I took her diaper off, put her undies on and we went downstairs for breakfast. No PJs or clothes to get in the way, which was her choice.

We started breakfast, but I set a kitchen timer for 10 minutes and explained that we would try to go peepee on the potty when the bell went off. We tried mid-breakfast, with no success, but she got a reward for dry undies. We tried again in 10 minutes and again in 10 minutes and I can't remember when she first had success, but she continued to get rewards for dry undies and then we spaced the timer out to 15 minutes. Meanwhile, I was pushing beverages and whatever she wanted to eat to help her have success.

We continued this way ALL day - timer every 15 minutes, she had to try when it went off, and we had quite a few successes with only 1 accident when she was playing and didn't tell us she needed to go. It is hard to know how long to have your child sit on the potty to "try" - Ellen won't sit there for any length of time if she doesn't feel she has to go. No use forcing her and enduring the battle.

This is an exhausting undertaking because you are constantly "on" - trying to catch them in the act. I try not to let Ells watch much TV regularly, but there are days she watches more than I would like. I didn't want her to watch much, if any, TV at the potty party because she can zone out. We played lots of Play-doh and read books and colored and played on the new iPad (hooray!) which is another good reward.

She got a diaper for nap, and slept well after an attention-packed morning. I am just choosing to continue using diapers rather than Pull Ups, mostly because they are less expensive and we have tons. I just made the distinction that diapers are only for sleeping. Also, Ellen is still in a crib. My bestie (the behavior analyst) commented that she didn't know of any kids who potty trained while still in a crib!?! Ellen hasn't shown ANY signs of getting out of her crib, so I'm leaving her there. Since she is wearing diapers in bed it isn't a big deal, and when she transitions to a big bed she will probably be closer to wearing undies at nap/bed and we can deal with that then.

After nap, she went straight from crib to potty and then right back in undies. We continued our routine for the afternoon with lots of success. She maybe told us once or twice all day that she needed to go, which I thought was really good.

We had a family dinner and ended it with chocolate cake with sprinkles and we congratulated her TONS on having such a great day of pottying! It helped that both sets of grandparents stopped by, too, to get in on the high fives.

On Sunday, we continued with a similar routine, but a little more relaxed and no pushing of fluids. We used the timer some in the morning, then just switched to asking her about every 15-20 minutes if she needed to go. We had an accident or two when she said she didn't need to go, but I think it is a learning experience to wet your pants and see that you don't like it! Of course, no reprimanding for accidents - just better luck next time! She still got rewards for potty success, but she also had to (attempt) wipe, flush and wash her hands to get a reward. She got a reward for dry undies if she asked, but she mostly forgot about it.

After three full days at home, I felt very good about her overall success with peeing on the potty. She was telling us more when she needed to go, though still requires quite a bit of prompting a week+ later. I have also found that sometimes she won't take the time to try to go unless I "threaten" her. Not a mean threat, of course, but if I know she hasn't peed in an hour or more and she wants to color with chalk or play Play doh, I'll tell her we can't do it until she peepees. Miracle of miracles, she almost always does! I won't claim that this is good parenting, but she is so anxious to play that she often won't sit long enough on the potty to give it a fair shot. And, I always try my hardest to get her to pee before we leave the house, and then we find the bathroom and try again when we get to our destination. We haven't attempted a Target run or grocery run yet, but the plan will be the same. Guess I better find all those bathrooms!

Also, after three full days at home, no poop success. More on that later ... I know you can't wait.